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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, while I was in the doctors they told me that me and my son needed a shot, I went first to show my son that it wouldnt hurt and shots were not something to be afraid of. When they gave me my shot I started crying. My four year old son handles pain better than his 29 year old mom. FML

#4548523
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12541) - you deserved it (36041)

On 08/15/2009 at 1:06pm - kids - by wimp (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I found out my husband had bought my 1-year-old daughter a shirt that says "Birth Control Fail" in pink glittery letters. He even took her out in it while I was at work. FML

#4525246
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59656) - you deserved it (7145)

On 08/14/2009 at 12:57pm - kids - by ohgod (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I just got done watching my cousin's two kids for four days while they were on vacation. I fed, clothed, and bathed them for four days of hell and got paid with a $5 shark tooth necklace from the Bahamas. FML

#4520071
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45801) - you deserved it (4768)

On 08/14/2009 at 3:34am - kids - by thebabysitter (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was on the phone bragging to a friend about losing my virginity last night. When I went downstairs, my 6 year old sister was digging through my purse. She explained that she had overheard my conversation and wanted to help me find my virginity. My mom was in the kitchen with us. FML

#4505034
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34949) - you deserved it (78625)

On 08/13/2009 at 4:57pm - kids - by bubbalicious (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was babysitting 3 toddlers. I wanted to entertain them by making them laugh, but nothing worked. Later on, I started down the stairs, but tripped and tumbled down. I realized I have broken my arm and bruised my knees. I also realized that kids think it's hilarious when you get injured. FML

#4491139
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34461) - you deserved it (4172)

On 08/13/2009 at 12:32am - kids - by ouch (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that doctors can be wrong. Pink clothes, pink stroller, pink bottles, pink bibs, pink cribs and pink bedding to go with my baby that recently came out with a little pink penis. FML

#4483118
425 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53144) - you deserved it (19884)

On 08/12/2009 at 7:36pm - kids - by Ouch (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, while teaching swim lessons, a boy was holding a noodle and claimed it was his fishing rod. Trying to be fun, I grabbed on and told him to "reel" me in. He then yells out 'YAY, I caught a whale!'. FML

Today, my 15-year-old daughter asked for a ride to her boyfriend's house. It's the same house I've been driving her to for sleepovers with her friend "Kate" for two years. FML

#4473849
331 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34752) - you deserved it (48199)

On 08/12/2009 at 12:14pm - kids - by anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my cousin came over. I left my iPod on shuffle in the room we were in as I left to go to the bathroom. When I came back she was jamming out to "My Dick" by Mickey Avalon. She won't stop singing it and her mom is coming over to pick her up in an hour. She's 4. FML

#4463161
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14076) - you deserved it (41764)

On 08/11/2009 at 11:34pm - kids - by SomeDJ (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, while working at my life guard job, I noticed a girl bouncing on one foot over to the pool. Afraid she would trip, I whistled at her and harshly yelled "NO running or messing around on the pool deck!" She removed her towel, revealing her legs. Or leg, she only had one. FML

#4406209
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47050) - you deserved it (19156)

On 08/09/2009 at 11:27am - kids - by ugh.. (man) - United States (Alaska)

Today, I was at the mall with my little brother. I saw him touching some expensive objects, so I slapped his arm. I noticed he wasn't my brother when he started crying and his real mom slapped me in the face. FML

#4402350
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13752) - you deserved it (50129)

On 08/09/2009 at 3:28am - kids - by mochiko (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I went for a hike with my new boyfriend on a fairly deserted trail my ex-husband had shown me awhile back. In all my hikes there, I've never seen another person and figured it would be okay to get intimate. Guess who came hiking past? That's right, my ex-husband. And our 8yr old son. FML

#4382906
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16005) - you deserved it (65920)

On 08/08/2009 at 10:53am - kids - by embarassed (woman) - United States (Connecticut)



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