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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I realized why my bathroom has been smelling so bad. My 10-year-old son has been peeing on the radiator, thinking it's fun to watch it steam and sizzle. FML

#7257345
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32861) - you deserved it (2912)

On 01/10/2010 at 12:17pm - kids - by Amber (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was wondering why my home smelled so weird, until I found out that my 4 year old son had been secretly scattering around food he didn't like to eat throughout the house. How did I find out? No one else in this family leaves half eaten spinach all over my underwear drawer. FML

#7254333
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23896) - you deserved it (3473)

On 01/10/2010 at 5:45am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was babysitting a new child. I guess she heard me tell her parents about my severe peanut allergy because she got a jar out of the pantry, spread it all over the stairs leading to where her fort was, and walked around with a baseball bat covered in it so I couldn't come near her. FML

#7212033
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34685) - you deserved it (2928)

On 01/08/2010 at 2:23am - kids - by PeanutlyDisabled - France

Today, my 5 month old son decided that my lip ring was a toy. Thinking it would be ok, I let him touch it. He got his finger caught and pulled his hand back. The lip ring is still in, but now I have a huge gaping hole in my face. FML

#7181113
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9696) - you deserved it (48891)

On 01/06/2010 at 1:12pm - kids - by pinky (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I found my daughter's brand new ipod touch. At the bottom of the washing machine. FML

#7147521
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27560) - you deserved it (5527)

On 01/04/2010 at 4:07pm - kids - by payne (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was fined because my son pushed the alarm button in the elevator. Why? There was a spider in there. FML

#7113361
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25951) - you deserved it (3009)

On 01/02/2010 at 10:22pm - kids - by arachnidphobia (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, the 6 year old girl I was babysitting asked me, "Why are you so ugly? Are you an alien? Because aliens are about as ugly as you are." FML

#7079923
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34871) - you deserved it (3609)

On 01/01/2010 at 10:41am - kids - by silverstar189 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my 4 year old daughter was looking at a magazine cover with a well endowed model showing off her clevage. She looked at me and said, "Mommy, when I grow up will I have big round boobies like her or tiny pointy ones like you?" FML

#7079219
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31558) - you deserved it (4200)

On 01/01/2010 at 9:12am - kids - by andy - United States (New York)

Today, my 7 year old looks at me and states, "When I grow up Mommy I want to be fat just like you." FML

#7050421
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25235) - you deserved it (10134)

On 12/31/2009 at 2:39am - kids - by Missyangel (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was in a busy airport bathroom with my three year old son. While in the process of pulling my pants down, my son decided to open the stall door. I jumped up to yank the door closed but not before the line of waiting women saw me with my pants wrapped around my ankles. FML

#7039639
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24222) - you deserved it (3860)

On 12/30/2009 at 5:42pm - kids - by doody (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I gave my 7 year old a snowglobe. I had spent the last week deconstructing it, putting an action figure of his favorite cartoon character inside, and then putting it back together. Later, I find it smashed into pieces because he wanted to "play with the toy it came with." FML

#6998138
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26039) - you deserved it (6635)

On 12/28/2009 at 7:22pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was watching 'Caillou'. It was a Christmas special for pre-schoolers. I was quite enjoying myself, when it hit me that my kid had been in bed for an hour. I forget what adult TV is. FML

#6979481
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21503) - you deserved it (5801)

On 12/27/2009 at 8:36pm - kids - by Jen (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I have been stuck in the bathroom. Apparently, my 8 year old son decided to sneak in some TurboLax into the juice we left out for Santa. Well played son. FML

#6937557
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30901) - you deserved it (6938)

On 12/25/2009 at 11:15am - kids - by BathroomMuch (man) - United States (California)



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