Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I was teaching a special techniques class for ballet and was focusing on pirouettes. I was teaching a group of 8 year olds, and one student could do perfect triple turns one after the other. I still can't do them, and I've been dancing for 15 years. FML

#8437368
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22763) - you deserved it (5405)

On 02/19/2010 at 6:52am - kids - by JJ101 (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my little sister walked in on me and my boyfriend. I told her I would give her 10$ if she just pretended it never happened. She agreed, walked out and shut the door. Later, when my parents arrived, she yells: "Nicole and Joe were naked upstairs!" FML

#8430950
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21556) - you deserved it (18362)

On 02/19/2010 at 12:31am - kids - by ohemgee23 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my dad decides to tell me he's taking the whole family to disney world, even my step-brother's girlfriend. But not me, because he can't "afford" it. FML

#8232410
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38651) - you deserved it (2092)

On 02/14/2010 at 12:49am - kids - by disneyworld (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, it snowed in South Carolina for the first time in 10 years. It snowed eight whole inches! I was so excited, I yelled for my kids and ran outside to build a snowman. I ran out to the steps and slipped on ice. I woke up in the hospital with a bad concussion. The snow had all melted. FML

#8210549
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29607) - you deserved it (5274)

On 02/13/2010 at 3:11pm - kids - by owwie - United States

Today, I got back from my daughter's flat in Scotland. I got a flight there yesterday morning to surprise her on her 21st birthday. Nobody told her I was coming. When I got there, it turned out she decided to get a plane to London to surprise me. £200 on flights, and I didn't even get to see her. FML

#8207424
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24183) - you deserved it (4230)

On 02/13/2010 at 1:39pm - kids - by gordy1220 (man) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, while I was painting, my little nephew came in and started watching me. I left to clean my brushes. When I came back into the room, my nephew had spilled paint all over the carpet making a rainbow. It took me 5 hours to clean it up. FML

#8205251
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18641) - you deserved it (7328)

On 02/13/2010 at 12:32pm - kids - by ositsranielle - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was looking through my computer's history to find a website I had visited. I found an online forum where my son was discussing how to inject Oxycontin. FML

#8132477
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27369) - you deserved it (3277)

On 02/11/2010 at 2:58pm - kids - by Rehab (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I read my mom's Facebook status. It said, "So sick of kids, can't wait for Vegas this week!" My dad, along with 12 others, liked it. I didn't even know she was going to Vegas. FML

#8129133
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24957) - you deserved it (4243)

On 02/11/2010 at 12:09pm - kids - by kbeavv - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was babysitting. The kid said he had to use the bathroom. When I told him to go ahead, he said he just did. He was on my lap. He wasn't wearing pants. FML

#8125309
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23163) - you deserved it (7236)

On 02/11/2010 at 8:33am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while cleaning around the house, I found a black bra that wasn’t mine. I confronted my husband about it, which turned into a massive fight. It turned out that the bra actually belonged to my son’s girlfriend I didn’t know he had. FML

#8088886
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12173) - you deserved it (25786)

On 02/10/2010 at 12:24pm - kids - by Anonymous - Lebanon (Beyrouth)

Today, my dad tried to convince my mother to stay with him. "Think of all the great times we've had," he said and started naming off quite a few. Too bad none of them were about the three kids they had together, all were vacations. FML

Today, I was about to take a crap when the smoke alarm went off. I ran out of the bathroom and tried to run downstairs. I tripped and shit on myself. The alarm had gone off cause my kid put my wallet in the toaster. FML

#8051668
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34764) - you deserved it (4507)

On 02/09/2010 at 1:20pm - kids - by justme - Sent from mobile version

Today, I found out why my five year old has been throwing tantrums while shopping. It turns out my ex-husband has been paying her three dollars for every public tantrum she throws. FML

#8051143
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34658) - you deserved it (3254)

On 02/09/2010 at 12:53pm - kids - by inthedark (woman) - Canada (Alberta)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: