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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my grandson asked how old I am and whether I'd seen Mammoths "for real" when I was a kid. FML

#6507610
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28607) - you deserved it (4025)

On 11/29/2009 at 2:13am - kids - by Granmacathy (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, while at a hotel for vacation with my brother and his wife, I was watching their two-month old daughter in the waterpark when a woman came up to me and said, "Aww your kid is so adorable! Don't worry, you'll get your figure back in no time." I'm a fourteen year old girl. FML

#6501685
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39089) - you deserved it (4680)

On 11/28/2009 at 9:14pm - kids - by Shannon (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I got in a hotel elevator. There was a kid in there also. He got off on the 3rd floor. As he was stepping from the elevator, he decided to press every single button. It's a 35 floor hotel. My room is on the 32nd floor. FML

Today, I went to start my truck that I had parked in my driveway after a longhaul. The fuel gauge indicated I had a full tank. I didn't fill up. My neighbours' son decided to fill the tank with water with a hose. 150 litres worth on top of diesel. His dad's response: "Kids eh, what ya gonna do?" FML

#6449145
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34345) - you deserved it (2238)

On 11/25/2009 at 5:24pm - kids - by driver (man) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, I was watching my 7 year old daughter and her friend jump on our trampoline. I was really impressed by all the flips they were doing, and I told her "Hey! I can't even do that." To that her friend replied " Of course you can't. You're fat!" FML

#6443254
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31316) - you deserved it (7394)

On 11/25/2009 at 9:43am - kids - by madeyoulaugh (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was working at a children's play centre, and my stomach was twisting and turning. Thinking no one was around, I let out a small fart, only to turn and see a little girl running to her mom yelling, "Mommy-mommy that lady just farted and it sounded like daddy!" FML

#6441579
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11919) - you deserved it (23402)

On 11/25/2009 at 2:36am - kids - by n/a - United States

Today, I was babysitting my younger brother while my parents were away. I turned my back on my brother for one minute and then I heard a huge crash from their room. He had somehow destroyed a family heirloom and 200 year old clock. FML

#6397427
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24825) - you deserved it (6928)

On 11/21/2009 at 11:05pm - kids - by Rhianna (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, my four year old got mad that he couldn't find his favorite character on the Wii. So, he decided to smash the Wii remote into my $700 LCD TV, shattering the screen. That was the only TV in the house, and the $80 service plan I bought doesn't cover accidental damage. FML

#6370061
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26492) - you deserved it (7780)

On 11/19/2009 at 4:14pm - kids - by mizzy (woman) - United States

Today, whilst singing at school in front of 300 visiting primary school children I forgot the second verse to my song and let out an F*** word with the microphone still up to my face. FML

#6364461
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7325) - you deserved it (33644)

On 11/19/2009 at 1:10am - kids - by fail (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, a woman cursed me out, called me a perverted freak, and said I should be ashamed of myself because I had asked her "How much for one night?." She works in a toy shop, I was with my five year old daughter, and was pointing to the sign, "Rent A Helium Tank!" FML

#6354900
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39580) - you deserved it (2760)

On 11/18/2009 at 2:52pm - kids - by whatthewhat - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my 5 year old lactose intolerant daughter decided to have some chocolate. The result: me cleaning the bathroom walls at 3am, finishing at 4:30am, and then start cleaning again at 5am when her stomach contents decided I had missed a spot. FML

Today, I was working at the school when one of the kids came crying to me about needing help with his zipper after a little "accident". Forbidden by a district ordinance to touch them in certain areas, there was nothing I could do; to which he cried and pissed his pants. Again. FML

#6350911
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31901) - you deserved it (2442)

On 11/18/2009 at 1:05am - kids - by not_trained_for_this (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my son told me to grow a pair and ask my girlfriend of a year and a half to marry me. He is 7 years old. FML

#6344201
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11761) - you deserved it (32686)

On 11/17/2009 at 5:58pm - kids - by unsuspcted (man) - United States (Georgia)



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