Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my 5 month old son decided that my lip ring was a toy. Thinking it would be ok, I let him touch it. He got his finger caught and pulled his hand back. The lip ring is still in, but now I have a huge gaping hole in my face. FML

#7181113
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9334) - you deserved it (47786)

On 01/06/2010 at 1:12pm - kids - by pinky (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I found my daughter's brand new ipod touch. At the bottom of the washing machine. FML

#7147521
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27385) - you deserved it (5517)

On 01/04/2010 at 4:07pm - kids - by payne (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was fined because my son pushed the alarm button in the elevator. Why? There was a spider in there. FML

#7113361
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25075) - you deserved it (2903)

On 01/02/2010 at 10:22pm - kids - by arachnidphobia (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, the 6 year old girl I was babysitting asked me, "Why are you so ugly? Are you an alien? Because aliens are about as ugly as you are." FML

#7079923
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33621) - you deserved it (3508)

On 01/01/2010 at 10:41am - kids - by silverstar189 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my 4 year old daughter was looking at a magazine cover with a well endowed model showing off her clevage. She looked at me and said, "Mommy, when I grow up will I have big round boobies like her or tiny pointy ones like you?" FML

#7079219
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30788) - you deserved it (4124)

On 01/01/2010 at 9:12am - kids - by andy - United States (New York)

Today, my 7 year old looks at me and states, "When I grow up Mommy I want to be fat just like you." FML

#7050421
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25109) - you deserved it (10096)

On 12/31/2009 at 2:39am - kids - by Missyangel (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was in a busy airport bathroom with my three year old son. While in the process of pulling my pants down, my son decided to open the stall door. I jumped up to yank the door closed but not before the line of waiting women saw me with my pants wrapped around my ankles. FML

#7039639
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22978) - you deserved it (3727)

On 12/30/2009 at 5:42pm - kids - by doody (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I gave my 7 year old a snowglobe. I had spent the last week deconstructing it, putting an action figure of his favorite cartoon character inside, and then putting it back together. Later, I find it smashed into pieces because he wanted to "play with the toy it came with." FML

#6998138
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24626) - you deserved it (6435)

On 12/28/2009 at 7:22pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was watching 'Caillou'. It was a Christmas special for pre-schoolers. I was quite enjoying myself, when it hit me that my kid had been in bed for an hour. I forget what adult TV is. FML

#6979481
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21319) - you deserved it (5783)

On 12/27/2009 at 8:36pm - kids - by Jen (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I have been stuck in the bathroom. Apparently, my 8 year old son decided to sneak in some TurboLax into the juice we left out for Santa. Well played son. FML

#6937557
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30718) - you deserved it (6918)

On 12/25/2009 at 11:15am - kids - by BathroomMuch (man) - United States (California)

Today, I learned just how much change a toddler can stuff in to a Nintendo Wii. I also learned that those things are put together with special screws. FML

#6919717
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21789) - you deserved it (3539)

On 12/24/2009 at 10:49am - kids - by Gameless Guy - United States

Today, I found out where my $300 worth of American Eagle and Hollister clothes had disappeared to. My 16 year old sister shredded them with scissors, took pictures of it for her Myspace and said that I deserved it for being a "conformist." All her "internet friends" said it was awesome. FML

#6901032
462 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34476) - you deserved it (11238)

On 12/23/2009 at 11:05am - kids - by meep (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I tried to rid my son of his pacifier. He still uses it to sleep. My son is 20 years old. FML

#6783679
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31570) - you deserved it (22752)

On 12/16/2009 at 8:57pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)



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