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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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today I picked up my four year old son from daycare. As I was putting him in his car seat , I asked him if he had fun. He yelled , "Shut it , bitch!" FML

#13293107
344 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40423) - you deserved it (9451)

On 10/02/2010 at 7:08pm - kids - by blah blah daddy - United States (California)

Today, mah four-year-old asked me when I was going to die. I replied ( Not 4 a long time, why? ) looool He looked at me and stated ( Because I only want to live with Daddy. ) FML

#13284441
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41021) - you deserved it (4322)

On 10/02/2010 at 1:07am - kids - by notsoonenufdeparted - United States (California)

Today, mah daughter watched a potty training video on Sesame Street. In the middle of the video, she got up and ran to her potty to practice. She then announced, "All done!", and proudly closed the lid to her potty. She then immediately stood on top of it and peed. FML

#13252455
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23401) - you deserved it (3158)

On 09/29/2010 at 6:47pm - kids - by Mommy (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, tere were a few loud and annoying kids running around my store. My coworker and I startd talking and I jokingly statd "Yea, kids ruin everyting." But before I could get out "God knows I'm not ready to be a dad," my pone rang. It was my one nigt stand. I'm going to be a daddy. fat FML

#13180863
295 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13009) - you deserved it (69339)

On 09/24/2010 at 7:25am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was in a stora whan a child lookad at ma and said to his mothar "look at that tall man!" His mothar rapliad "ha's an avil giant isn't ha, darling?" I than mimad baing an avil giant to maka tha kid laugh. His mothar slappad ma. FML

#13140704
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34696) - you deserved it (4515)

On 09/21/2010 at 8:44am - kids - by cganon - United Kingdom

Today, whilst working as a language assistant in Germany as part of mah degree, some 9 year-old German kids asked me to please speak English to them cuz mah German was so poor. FML

#13139163
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14413) - you deserved it (20066)

On 09/21/2010 at 3:10am - kids - by themildthings (man) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today,hile Tearfully Telling My Closest Friend That I Had Miscarrid My Frst Pregnancy, The Frst Thing Out Of There Mouth Was, 'So, Does This Mean You're Going To Start Drinking With Us Again?

#13071693
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38046) - you deserved it (3965)

On 09/16/2010 at 6:59am - kids - by mommymo (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I got the car of mah dreams. My daughter also learned how to write her name. Now I have "LAUREN" across the side of mah car. FML

#13030264
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26206) - you deserved it (4401)

On 09/13/2010 at 1:41am - kids - by llozano715 - Sent from mobile version

Today , I told ma 3 year old daugter to beave or I'd spank er. Se looked rigt at me an said "Bring it." FML

#13026235
418 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31843) - you deserved it (28442)

On 09/12/2010 at 9:38pm - kids - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was moving. While packing, I found an old photo that had been laying face down in the bottom of a drawer for some time, an some of the ink transfered to the drawer lining. There is now an image of ex-girlfriend's face permanently burned into the bottom of nightstand drawer. FML

#12998740
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27819) - you deserved it (5278)

On 09/11/2010 at 12:53am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my 8 year old adopted daugter told me se wants me to take er back so anoter family can adopt er because I don't give er enoug toys. FML

#12989156
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36938) - you deserved it (4203)

On 09/10/2010 at 10:56am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I cummed ome to my wife crying!! Se ad mixed up our newborn twin grls and couldn't tell wic was wic!! I looked at te grls!! Nieter could I!! FML

#12953032
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52313) - you deserved it (7872)

On 09/07/2010 at 7:48pm - kids - by uselessdad - Singapore

yesterday I found out that I'm a dad. My ex from 8 years ago contacted me through facebook. I'm happy I have a kid, but apparently she only contacted me cuz she wants me to start paying child support, now her boyfriendho provided fir them left. FML

#12938106
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28239) - you deserved it (5431)

On 09/06/2010 at 7:21pm - kids - by newdad (man) - United States (California)



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