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Today, my mother got heartburn. She claimed she only gets heartburn when she is near a pregnant woman. She threatened to kick me out of the house if I didn't take a pregnancy test, despite there being no way I was pregnant. Turns out, I am pregnant, and my mother's ego has never been bigger. FML

#21427606
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29969) - you deserved it (8543)

On 06/17/2015 at 2:09pm - kids - by RecentCollegeGrad (woman) -

Today, my father finally achieved his long-held goal. He has legally disowned me. FML

Today, I insulted my younger sister's hamster. She then smashed me with a stool. FML

#21426566
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24862) - you deserved it (8542)

On 06/15/2015 at 4:02pm - kids - by HttpsHaileyy - United States

 Today, I had to explain to my little brother yet again that no, socks don't count as toilet paper. FML

#21426539
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26254) - you deserved it (1909)

On 06/15/2015 at 3:11pm - kids - by maggieyokoi -

Today, I had to take my son to the hospital for drinking sunscreen. Apparently, he saw something on the internet that said if he drank it, his body would sweat it out and continually apply it to his body. He's 16. FML

#21425682
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35806) - you deserved it (5996)

On 06/14/2015 at 9:41am - kids - by afather - United States (South Dakota)

Today, my parents bought my 11-year-old brother a MacBook for my birthday. FML

#21425434
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29374) - you deserved it (1963)

On 06/13/2015 at 12:34pm - kids - by thanks for the $5 gift voucher (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, the 4-year-old I was babysitting came up to me all happy, saying she went to the bathroom like a "big girl". Knowing she was just potty trained, I asked if she'd remembered to flush. Looking at me confused, she said, "But it's in my room." FML

#21424205
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25657) - you deserved it (1832)

On 06/10/2015 at 11:04pm - kids - by AdoKitty (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my husband and I broke the news to my 10-year-old son that in about 8 months, he'll have a baby brother or sister. I knew he never wanted a sibling, but I didn't expect him to throw a tantrum, then look at me through teary eyes and scream, "Why can't you keep your fucking legs closed?" FML

#21423894
315 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35152) - you deserved it (6957)

On 06/10/2015 at 12:13pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, someone finally told me that they couldn't live without me and that they love me more than anything. It was a student in my year 1 class. FML

#21423302
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23242) - you deserved it (1785)

On 06/09/2015 at 11:15am - kids - by foreveralone - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I found out my husband potty trained my stubborn three year old son who prefers diapers. He managed this by peeing with him and "sword-fighting" with their urine streams. I now have to clean pee off the ground every time he urinates. FML

#21421959
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25106) - you deserved it (2229)

On 06/06/2015 at 9:17pm - kids - by diapersplease (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I realized the only way I can pay my bills this month is if I steal from my 8 year old's birthday money. FML

#21419713
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26485) - you deserved it (5674)

On 06/02/2015 at 1:58pm - kids - by Cammi0 - United States

Today, frustrated with my very energetic kids, I told them that if they dug a hole deep enough in the backyard, they'd find China. What they really found was the previous owner's dog. FML

#21419303
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28389) - you deserved it (7100)

On 06/01/2015 at 6:45pm - kids - by pheonixxe (woman) - United States (Wyoming)



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