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Today, my teenage daughter faked a suicide because I bought her a Samsung instead of an iPhone for her birthday. FML

#21198840
328 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54291) - you deserved it (11202)

On 07/04/2014 at 8:15pm - kids - by iphonerevolution - South Africa

Today, my little sister started freaking out, because she was playing with some white-out eraser and got some on her finger. She started crying inconsolably because she thought her entire finger was going to disappear. FML

#21198613
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37752) - you deserved it (3983)

On 07/04/2014 at 3:41pm - kids - by neryc (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, as I was picking up my 5-year-old brother from school, he hugged a girl from his class to say goodbye. His classmate's mom and I looked at each other, thinking it was adorable, until my brother decided to dry hump the side of his classmate's thigh. FML

Today, my 6-year-old brother showed me the "books" he's been writing for the past week. My parents, who are first-generation immigrants, want him to take the books to school to show everyone. My only problem with this? The main character's name is "Wanker". FML

#21195314
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35841) - you deserved it (3234)

On 07/01/2014 at 5:41pm - kids - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I smacked my kid on top of the head for spinning the display rack while I was looking at greeting cards. It wasn't until he dramatically screamed and dropped to the floor wailing that I realized he wasn't my daughter. FML

#21194154
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28667) - you deserved it (41870)

On 06/30/2014 at 7:39pm - kids - by BaWanda (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my daughter asked me how long she had to put her 2-minute noodles in the microwave for. FML

#21193510
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40676) - you deserved it (6876)

On 06/30/2014 at 7:40am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I had to go pick up my kid, because he threw up while playing at his friend's house. The boy's mother bitched me out for not keeping my son at home while he was "ill". Her breath was unspeakably foul. So foul that it caused me to throw up too. FML

#21192088
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47776) - you deserved it (3496)

On 06/29/2014 at 12:16am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my cousin asked me what it's like to be so fat. I chastised him and said that was a rude thing to ask. He apologized, then asked me what it's like to be such a pussy. He didn't stop until he, a 10 year old kid, had reduced me, a 26 year old woman, to tears. FML

#21190580
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41430) - you deserved it (7441)

On 06/27/2014 at 5:57pm - kids - by keelah (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I heard my son say, "I don't want any bacon with my eggs". Where did I go wrong? FML

#21187679
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51789) - you deserved it (16785)

On 06/25/2014 at 8:30am - kids - by failed dad (man) - Greece (Attiki)

Today, after nearly a year of being stalked, harassed and even terrorized, the police finally found out who my stalker was. It was my 19-year-old son, who thought it would be a fun prank to pull. FML

#21185679
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46295) - you deserved it (5299)

On 06/23/2014 at 7:13pm - kids - by Anon (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I drove 12 hours with 6 screaming little girls. They were arguing about things that should've been in the Lego movie. They watched it 4 times. FML

#21185172
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39549) - you deserved it (4746)

On 06/23/2014 at 9:56am - kids - by kennyjhynes (man) - United States

Today, my dad told me that I was conceived while he and my mother were high on LSD. He then stared into the distance, mumbled "Probably explains a few things" and chuckled to himself. FML

#21182176
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40735) - you deserved it (3692)

On 06/20/2014 at 6:05pm - kids - by Alex (man) - United Kingdom (Ealing)

Today, my daughter told me that she liked her "other daddy" better. I don't know who's she talking about, but my wife is doing a good job telling her to be quiet. FML

#21177000
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56159) - you deserved it (3937)

On 06/16/2014 at 5:38pm - kids - by FirstDaddy (man) - United States (Michigan)



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Tuesday 22 July 2014

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