Back to square one

By Who-is-living-with-whom - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff

Today, my mother finally finalized her divorce! Unfortunately, she'll have to sell the house, and when she does, she'll move in with me. I only moved out a month ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks 12 391
You deserved it 1 006

Top comments

Make sure she understand that she's moving into YOUR place and that it's YOUR rules, not hers. Good luck, OP.

mariri9206 32

You should help her look for her own place, one she can afford. And, if you can't find one right away, let her stay with you but tell her it's your rules and it's just until she gets back on her feet and can find her own place again.

Comments

Make sure she understand that she's moving into YOUR place and that it's YOUR rules, not hers. Good luck, OP.

At least you now get to say "as long as you're living under my roof, you obey my rules" and come up with a bunch of crazy rules and regulations. Have a list of rules written down like: 1) you must wear different coloured socks on your feet, no white matching socks allowed 2) you must wear a Santa hat when eating at the table 3) chocolate must be eaten every day, but only between the hours of 1:00pm-1:30pm Mon.-Fri. 8:00am-9:00am Sat. & Sun. And other crazy rules. Then when she complains about the rules just state the "my roof my rules" comment above. Lol

You can try what number one suggested but chances are you're just screwed my friend...

mariri9206 32

You should help her look for her own place, one she can afford. And, if you can't find one right away, let her stay with you but tell her it's your rules and it's just until she gets back on her feet and can find her own place again.

Do not down vote this. It may sound harsh, but it isn't. Lay out the rules at the start. They love their mom, but trust me, family can destroy themselves with resentment. Plan it out, help her find a place once everything is settled, but don't let it weigh you down. Never feel like you have to do something, but you can always offer help and support! You have a life too!

jairienfaite 20

Same thing happened to me. I had my comfy appartment. Since she had no income, she moved with me. I had to move to a bigger place so we don't walk on each others feet. It ended working well and now she work for her own things.

Now you're going to understand why people stay in unhappy marriages. Sure, you hate your spouse, but at least there's a roof over your head.

I'm not sure why this is getting downvoted as it is, unfortunately, often very true. I'm sure #5's not suggesting that op's mom should've stayed in her unhappy marriage, but is merely stating that op's mom's situation is exactly the reason that some people do stay in unhappy relationships. I think this comment is even more true for women 30+ years ago. A lot of women got married young & out of high school, had kids, and became a stay at home mom, which is fine, except if they were in an unhappy marriage, they often felt they couldn't leave (or stand up to their husbands) because they were worried they wouldn't be able to get a job making enough to support themselves. And depending on how far back we're talking, they didn't usually get adequate spousal support income if they did divorce.

Just say no?? Dont let her move in. Just flat out say "i love you but i moved out for a reason"

mariri9206 32

You don't know what they're reason is. Maybe it wasn't to get away (like your comment sounds like it's suggesting), maybe it was to be independent. I'm not saying let her stay forever, but you help out family when they need it.

Grammar nazi reading your post gave me a cancer " there "

If you're going to grammar nazi do it right, the correct word wouldn't been 'their'

It is not clear who the grammar Nazi is Elsie. Did you mean to say - grammer Nazi reading your post, gave me a cancer.. Or did you intend to say Grammar Nazi, reading your post gave me a cancer. Punctuation is important.

when people barge in all high and mighty trying to correct grammar and fail themselves.. "a cancer" just.. what

#27 Seriously, I was thinking, "exactly what kind of cancer?" Though you can use, "a cancer," in some examples. For instance, " Self proclaimed grammar Nazi's who don't know the actual reasoning behind grammatical rules are a cancer to society."

Maybe with the house money she is getting, help her get her own place close by you. Or simply set your rules and tell her that this is your place and your the owner. So she don't run or act like she is entitled mom you around in your own place.

I agree with what others have said. You need to lay groundwork, how long she is welcome to stay, no policing your habits, etc. Then help her find an affordable option.

chocolateteacup 25

She's your mother! You do for family...

No, you can't shame/guilt someone into maintaining a unhealthy situation/relationship just because they're 'family'. Just no.

chocolateteacup 25

OP didn't say anything about an unhealthy relationship. I'm not guilting anyone. What's happening to society? Why can't you help out your own mother? Did she not allow OP to live with her until recently? Come now...