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Today, I accidentally said the wrong name during sex. That name just happened to be "Sarah", which is both my ex-girlfriend's name and my wife's sister's name. When she asked me which one I meant, I panicked and said, "Both." FML

#21140956
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32700) - you deserved it (52387)

On 05/15/2014 at 6:57pm - intimacy - by FLIPmcCOOL - Ireland (Cork)

Today, I finally brought a girl home from college. While I was making her some coffee, my roommate came down in her underwear, pretended to be my girlfriend, and asked if we were having a threesome. My date left before I could explain, and my roommate thinks it's fucking hilarious. FML

Today, I realised the only preparation I've done for my final French exam has been wanking off to French porn. FML

#21135849
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22733) - you deserved it (53365)

On 05/10/2014 at 4:52pm - intimacy - by vivelawank - United Kingdom

Today, I went on a date for the first time since my divorce was finalized a year ago. The first question the guy asked me was what my favorite sex position is. FML

#21135207
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46858) - you deserved it (5520)

On 05/09/2014 at 10:37pm - intimacy - by CEO - United States (Virginia)

Today, my husband and I put our children to bed a little earlier than usual, so we could have some sexy time. Immediately following my full-blown orgasm, I rolled over, only to see my wide-eyed son peeking over the top of the mattress. FML

#21133668
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60057) - you deserved it (13591)

On 05/07/2014 at 10:31pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, my best friend wanted to see what my new boyfriend looks like. By chance, he'd sent me a Snapchat a few minutes before, so I opened it to show her, only to see that it was a dick pic. FML

#21132642
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33423) - you deserved it (39328)

On 05/06/2014 at 7:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I met this overweight chick and ended up sleeping with her. We were doing it doggy style and it was great until she said, "Milk me like a cow." I can no longer drink milk without hearing that in my head. FML

#21132249
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50047) - you deserved it (18164)

On 05/06/2014 at 9:55am - intimacy - by chumman (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I had sex with my girlfriend while my parents were out. After they got home, my dog brought out our used condom. FML

#21131413
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45074) - you deserved it (22531)

On 05/05/2014 at 1:30pm - intimacy - by PCJJacket - United States (California)

Today, I started going on and on about dogs and their different types of breed, behaviours, expectancy, etc. When someone asked me how I know all this stuff, I meant to say, "I fucking love animals", I didn't think it through and said, "I love fucking animals". FML

#21131182
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (368) - you deserved it (18801)

On 05/05/2014 at 3:53am - intimacy - by Zekrome - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend got the brilliant idea of trying out a sex tip dreamed up by one of the glorified trolls at Cosmo. I think my balls are broken beyond repair. FML

#21127421
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43906) - you deserved it (6211)

On 04/30/2014 at 7:40pm - intimacy - by FMBs (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend, and I cheekily told him about something I'd read that's supposed to feel really good during sex. I then heard his sister sarcastically say, "Yeah, that does feel pretty good". Apparently he'd had me on speaker the whole time. FML

#21126318
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43131) - you deserved it (7766)

On 04/29/2014 at 2:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I realised that when I asked my girlfriend 4 months ago if was she on the pill, she thought I meant hay fever tablets. I'm going to be a father. FML

#21123315
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54504) - you deserved it (25420)

On 04/26/2014 at 8:28am - intimacy - by Sniffles (man) - Ireland

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and he was moaning a lot. My ego was quickly crushed, though, when I found out they were moans of pain due to a foot cramp. We had to stop so I could rub his foot better. FML

#21120108
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46077) - you deserved it (5704)

On 04/22/2014 at 6:21pm - intimacy - by only my life (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)



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Friday 17 October 2014

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