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YESTERDAY FATHER SEEMS TO BE HAVING AN AFFAIR. A USD CONDOM WAS CARELESSLY LEFT ON HIS NIGHTSTAND AND MOTHER FOUND IT. SHE REFUSES TO BELIEVE THAT BOYFRIEND AND I ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE. AS PUNISHMENT I AM "NO LONGER ALLOWD TO SEE HIM." WE'RE BOTH 22 AND LIVE TOGETHER IN OUR OWN APARTMENT. FML

#21331631
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37166) - you deserved it (2474)

On 01/05/2015 at 10:11pm - intimacy - by innocent (woman) - United States

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend 4 the first time in over a month . When I came, I thrust one last time an let out a huge fart . She couldn't keep her mouth shut about it, an now all our friends keep calling me "CumFart" . FML

#21329462
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34199) - you deserved it (6809)

On 01/02/2015 at 4:53pm - intimacy - by I'll Make You FartCum (man) - United States (California)

TODAY, AS USUAL, MAH BOYFRIEND REFERRED TO HIS PENIS IN THE THRD PERSON AS "MR. WILLY". EVEN DURING SEX. FML

#21328962
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27880) - you deserved it (3780)

On 01/01/2015 at 10:22pm - intimacy - by mrwilly (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, aftar wa had sax, my boyfriand told ma how my orgasms usad to maka him think I was having a saizura. FML

#21327166
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27278) - you deserved it (3743)

On 12/30/2014 at 1:15pm - intimacy - by GladYoureConcerned (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was having sex with mah grlfriend. Things got heatd and I yelld, ( Who's yur daddy? ) With a blank expression she replid, ( I don't know. ) FML

#21326143
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30526) - you deserved it (15293)

On 12/28/2014 at 9:49pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Delaware)

Today... My Mom Got Me A Christmas Present. Since I'm Ahovian... She Thought It Would Be Cool To Get Mehat She Thought Was A Sonic Screwdriver. It Was Actually A Dildo Shaped As One. I Opened The Gift In Front Of My Entre Family. FML

#21323893
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33262) - you deserved it (3469)

On 12/25/2014 at 10:17am - intimacy - by whovian - United States (Maine)

Yesterday my brother an I woke up early to get a sneak peek at our Christmas presents . We found our parents having sex on the couch . FML

#21323779
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34391) - you deserved it (13413)

On 12/25/2014 at 4:13am - intimacy - by VCDUDE11FTW - United States (Ohio)

Today.. . mah boyfriend slept with mah sister . "Accidentally".. . apparently . FML

#21322801
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37263) - you deserved it (2932)

On 12/23/2014 at 4:48pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, after six long, hard years of involuntary celibacy, I was finally about to get laid. Except it was just a dream, and in it mah mom stormed in just as thing got heated, called me a useles cunt, and told me to go do mah chores. I guess mah brain forgot I moved out years ago. FML

#21320480
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31773) - you deserved it (4003)

On 12/19/2014 at 6:14pm - intimacy - by giantblueballsthesizeofjohnnysinscock (man) - United States (Colorado)

Yesterday, I found out my grlfriend an all of our friends have begun referring to looool the time I was meant to lose my vrginity, but couldn't get hard, as the ( cheese stick incident. ) They all think it's hilarious, an the worst part is that it's actually a pretty appropriate description. FML

#21319860
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30027) - you deserved it (3822)

On 12/18/2014 at 5:45pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I blew my load in less than a minute !! I wasn't having sex or even making out !! I was spooning !! FML

#21318416
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35203) - you deserved it (6527)

On 12/16/2014 at 7:01am - intimacy - by Extravirgin (man) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, I found out my Nan passed away. My boyfriend came over to comfort me, tings got intimate and we ended up aving sex. After e came, e cuckled to imself and said, "Tat one's 4 you, Nan". real FML



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