Today, my boyfriend informed me that from now on during sex, I have to be on top at all times, saying I need the exercise more than him. As offensive as this was, I was actually happy because he's crap on top. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34329) - you deserved it (5247)
On 03/18/2013 at 10:36am - intimacy - by Ann (woman) - United States
Today, my parents asked me if I was sexually active. My grandma then screamed from upstairs, "She's not even physically active!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (35941) - you deserved it (9410)
On 03/18/2013 at 4:59am - intimacy - by Susan (woman) - Ireland
Today, my girlfriend was giving me head during the horror flick we were watching. Little did I know, my girlfriend isn't a big fan of horror films. It was during a sex scene that intensified the moment. The same sex scene from which emerged a sudden jump-scare. I now have bite marks on my penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19220) - you deserved it (35395)
On 03/17/2013 at 5:07am - intimacy - by Cliché... or Touché? -
Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend, when my upstairs neighbor decided to take the longest piss known to man. He moaned the entire time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28476) - you deserved it (2439)
On 03/16/2013 at 2:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, my grandma gave me a sex talk. Not the usual one, either. This one was about blowjobs. I had to sit politely as she explained it's something all women have to learn if they want a well-behaved husband, but that it's an "acquired taste". Gag me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33786) - you deserved it (3097)
On 03/15/2013 at 8:05pm - intimacy - by butnotlikethat (woman) - China (Jiangxi)
Today, while I was going down on my husband, our 3-year-old daughter woke up and started crying from the other room. He practically burst into tears too, whining that she was doing it on purpose to ruin his fun. He was serious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37031) - you deserved it (3439)
On 03/15/2013 at 6:28am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, my girlfriend and I were going to get intimate, so I masturbated before leaving my place, hoping it would help me last longer than usual. 10 minutes in, she shoved me off and started screaming at me, convinced that I've been cheating on her and practising with someone else. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36549) - you deserved it (7816)
On 03/14/2013 at 12:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)
Today, my boyfriend got angry and threatened to dump me, all because I wouldn't give in to his demands not to go to a birthday sleepover with my friends. He seriously thinks it's going to turn into some kind of lesbian orgy and that I'll cheat on him. Thanks, PornHub. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39555) - you deserved it (8839)
On 03/14/2013 at 11:43am - intimacy - by wow (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, my boyfriend, whom I haven't heard from in a whole month, turned up at my door because it was apparently "steak and blowjob day." FML
I agree, your life sucks (34980) - you deserved it (5207)
On 03/14/2013 at 5:02am - intimacy - by howaboutno (woman) - United States
Today, as always, I'm dating one of the few girls who, without fail, always finishes first when we get intimate. She's also one of those girlfriends who doesn't want to continue once she's done. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34825) - you deserved it (4887)
On 03/13/2013 at 3:51pm - intimacy - by WhyDoINeedAName - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I was cleaning a house. While dusting a rickety nightstand, a drawer fell open and a light-up dildo fell out and turned on. I couldn't figure out how to turn it off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28565) - you deserved it (2285)
On 03/13/2013 at 9:36am - intimacy - by OptimusVader (woman) - United States
Today, my fiancé had to perform his first prostate exam. He told me he was quite nervous about it, so I reminded him that he did fine on his first pelvic exam last month. His response: "Yeah, but I've had my hands up plenty of vaginas already." FML
I agree, your life sucks (25576) - you deserved it (3349)
On 03/12/2013 at 2:27pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)
Today, I invited my long-lost best friend over, because I haven't seen her much since she got a new boyfriend. 20 minutes into hanging out, he showed up at my door. He still hasn't left, and they're having sex on my couch right now. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42144) - you deserved it (4159)
On 03/12/2013 at 9:22am - intimacy - by kenleybunch - United States (North Carolina)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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