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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my wife slapped me for touching her boobs during sex. FML

#21296872
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47261) - you deserved it (4862)

On 11/11/2014 at 10:37am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend pretended to be reading braille while touching my chest acne. FML

#21295903
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37163) - you deserved it (5778)

On 11/10/2014 at 12:01am - intimacy - by annababyyyy - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was getting everything ready for mine and my husband's first wedding anniversary. Flowers, check. Crisp new bed sheets, check. Silk underwear, check. Crippling cramps and an early period, check. FML

#21294602
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45524) - you deserved it (3178)

On 11/08/2014 at 9:09am - intimacy - by betterthanhodor - United Kingdom (Suffolk)

Today, I finally found out why my husband is always so eager and happy to buy me whatever I am craving during my pregnancy. It's because it gives him an excuse to meet up with his mistress and have a quickie. FML

#21294259
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53596) - you deserved it (2954)

On 11/07/2014 at 6:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blowjob. I was laying in between his legs because it's just more comfortable. I looked down, and he had pieces of toilet paper sticking out of his butt cheeks. FML

#21291810
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43865) - you deserved it (6570)

On 11/04/2014 at 7:03am - intimacy - by anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I decided to give my boyfriend a surprise striptease. After I turned around, I heard him murmur "Oh, wow." I turned back around, only to find him watching a gif of a cat falling into snow in slow motion. FML

#21291260
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35551) - you deserved it (4127)

On 11/03/2014 at 2:06pm - intimacy - by Dezzy - United States (Missouri)

Today, I lost my virginity. In the middle of it, he just gave up and said he wasn't in the mood anymore. Then I had to listen about his past failed relationships for over an hour. FML

#21291250
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40599) - you deserved it (4601)

On 11/03/2014 at 1:56pm - intimacy - by EliseV (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while having some "personal" time, I felt intense pleasure and moaned. I learned that my own moaning prevents me from reaching my peak. I'm my own turn off. FML

#21290790
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36306) - you deserved it (5806)

On 11/02/2014 at 8:31pm - intimacy - by SelfServiced - United States (California)

Today, while my husband and I were having sex, my cat decided to join in on our moans by crying at the door the entire time. He stopped as soon as we finished. FML

Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. The words "Christ, Jeff. It's a vagina, not a burrito. CALM DOWN!" were spoken. FML

#21290417
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38218) - you deserved it (10782)

On 11/02/2014 at 10:36am - intimacy - by jay-frey96 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out the guy I've been dating for 5 months is engaged to his girlfriend of 3 years. I found out as we were talking, waiting for him to come outside after work. FML

#21288734
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34244) - you deserved it (2922)

On 10/30/2014 at 10:32pm - intimacy - by taylor w - United States

Today, I had to go to my dentist about a chipped tooth. I got it after my hand slipped off my dick and slammed straight into my face while I was masturbating. FML

#21288518
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26701) - you deserved it (22104)

On 10/30/2014 at 4:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I wanted to spice things up in the bedroom with my husband, so I set up some Halloween torches to create a wild ambiance. Unfortunately our dickhead neighbours saw the glow, didn't remember that fire tends to give off smoke, and called the fire department on us. FML

#21287079
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32596) - you deserved it (6141)

On 10/28/2014 at 4:45pm - intimacy - by BurnedDown (woman) - United Kingdom (East Riding of Yorkshire)



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