Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, my girlfriend and I got caught doing it in her parent's bed by her mom. Instead of making me leave, they forced me to stay for dinner. FML

#21497961
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20117) - you deserved it (26743)

On 11/28/2015 at 8:20pm - intimacy - by aj513 (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, a girl I'd been talking to all night actually wanted to come home with me. Stopped to buy condoms. Got home, clothes came off, took out a condom. "Sorry, I'm allergic to latex". She left in a cab. I'm a 27-year old virgin for another night and now have a box of condoms to remind me. FML

#21497787
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26210) - you deserved it (2857)

On 11/28/2015 at 9:32am - intimacy - by ohgodwhyfml (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I had a boyfriend who wanted to wait until marriage before having sex. When I came home, I realised he must have married my roommate. FML

#21497342
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29942) - you deserved it (1928)

On 11/27/2015 at 1:42am - intimacy - by Anonymous - France (Corse)

Today, I had sex with the guy who had been the main subject of my bean-flicking fantasies since I met him. It was the absolute worst sex of my life. I guess some things are just better left to the imagination. FML

#21496405
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21654) - you deserved it (4914)

On 11/24/2015 at 7:26pm - intimacy - by WhatALetdown - United States (Connecticut)

Today, something must be wrong with me. Last night, my dick went limper than overcooked spaghetti while in my wife's mouth, yet today I popped a massive boner that you could hammer nails with, while cutting the grass. FML

#21496296
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25817) - you deserved it (2671)

On 11/24/2015 at 2:38pm - intimacy - by anonymous (man) - Switzerland (Zug)

Today, I was jerking off quietly so my roommates wouldn't hear me. In the middle of it, one of them sent me a screenshot of an error message on a porn site, asking if I was having the same problem. I guess I wasn't being so quiet after all. FML

#21496209
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20612) - you deserved it (6147)

On 11/24/2015 at 8:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my anxiety cockblocked me. I was in the middle of a wank, about to come, when I suddenly freaked out and had to stop and check to make sure I didn't have any homework due tomorrow. FML

#21496144
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22915) - you deserved it (4168)

On 11/24/2015 at 1:34am - intimacy - by helpme (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I texted my friend asking if he'd like to join my "porno group". I meant promo. I quickly texted back correcting the mistake, but not before I received the nudes he sent. FML

#21495924
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24331) - you deserved it (4186)

On 11/23/2015 at 3:17pm - intimacy - by hiitisbrooke - United States (Michigan)

Today, my girlfriend and I were sending dirty messages to each other. We were getting really into it until she replied to one of my messages with, "Oooooh yeah." I read it in the Kool-Aid man's voice and couldn't stop laughing. Mood killed. FML

#21495829
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24578) - you deserved it (5243)

On 11/23/2015 at 9:31am - intimacy - by Stuby14 - United States (South Dakota)

Today, I was washing my boobs in the shower when I caught my reflection in the mirror. I got super turned on at the sight of my large breasts all soaped up. I'm a man. FML

#21495827
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23855) - you deserved it (8855)

On 11/23/2015 at 9:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I walked in on my brother jerking off to a breast cancer awareness advert. FML

#21495359
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25907) - you deserved it (2689)

On 11/22/2015 at 12:12am - intimacy - by ugh, why (woman) - Australia

Today, I finally felt ready to lose my virginity with my boyfriend. Unfortunately he was too embarrassed to go and buy some condoms, and suggested in all seriousness that we use a sandwich bag instead. FML

#21495119
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27548) - you deserved it (3535)

On 11/21/2015 at 9:54am - intimacy - by angelisa (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I've spent nearly three weeks indulging my boyfriend's weird fetish, where he wears a hockey mask and I call him Jason. He just confessed it isn't really a fetish for him and that was just fucking with me. He's already told all his friends. I'm humiliated. FML

#21495098
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30466) - you deserved it (4166)

On 11/21/2015 at 7:44am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)



FML's blog

  • Eni's illustrated FML
  • Greetings worshipers of lines and colours! This week, with the help of a talented young illustrator we’re checking kids out. No, not like that. Damn, that sounded bad. We’re taking a different look a…

Friday 12 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: