Today, I learned my husband has what he calls "grumpy wife sex" specifically to cheer me up. I don't know if I'm more annoyed that he casually mentioned it after we've been together for 10 years, or that it actually works. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36715) - you deserved it (10154)
On 05/02/2013 at 11:59am - intimacy - by MommaAnnie (woman) - United States (Kansas)
Today, my bathroom flooded. I frantically cleaned my apartment as fast as I could before the plumber arrived. Everything was finally clean when I let him in. It wasn't until after he finished that I noticed I'd left my anal beads in the shower. There's no way he didn't notice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20965) - you deserved it (45566)
On 05/01/2013 at 2:41pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was getting ready, when I heard my dad in the shower. He was singing along to the song "The Wheel in the Sky" by Journey. Except he'd changed the lyrics and was singing, "The dick on this guy needs a rubbin'." It turns out my mom was in the shower with him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51384) - you deserved it (3349)
On 05/01/2013 at 12:13pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I got home from work and found my girlfriend waiting for me in some skimpy lingerie. She ended up pushing me onto the bed, and as I lay there, expecting to be pleasured, she pulled out a pair of adult-sized footsie pajamas and dressed me in them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48613) - you deserved it (5700)
On 04/30/2013 at 2:24pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my boyfriend was watching TV, when we started getting frisky. I'd just started to give him a blowjob when he pushed me off and said, "Fun's over." Dragon Ball Z had just come back on. He's 21. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46179) - you deserved it (10826)
On 04/30/2013 at 1:35pm - intimacy - by SecondBest,IGuess (woman) - United States
Today, I had yet another class with my psychotic, conservative, uber-religious teacher. The "well-known statistic" of today? Over 90% of people who have ever watched porn end up having a divorce due to psychological damage from said porn. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36287) - you deserved it (4458)
On 04/29/2013 at 3:32am - intimacy - by WTHChristianSchool (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I was getting into the mood with my boyfriend. Ten minutes into it, I told him to "teach me a lesson." His response: "I ain't no teacher." FML
I agree, your life sucks (37487) - you deserved it (8872)
On 04/29/2013 at 3:08am - intimacy - by unforgettablee (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I got caught masturbating, twice, by the same person. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26512) - you deserved it (58748)
On 04/28/2013 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Saudi Arabia
Today, I was getting ready to have sex with my boyfriend for the first time. It seems he thought I was a much larger cup size than I really am, because when he saw my actual boobs, he said, "Aaaaaaand they're gone". FML
I agree, your life sucks (51697) - you deserved it (10251)
On 04/27/2013 at 12:11am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, things got pretty steamy between my boyfriend and me. We started doing stuff that neither of us had tried before. Then, he straddled me with a raging erection and boomed, "IT HAS RISEN!" He didn't understand why I was suddenly no longer in the mood. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37105) - you deserved it (7054)
On 04/26/2013 at 6:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I was excited for my first date in a while, with a "tall handsome business man." Turns out he "doesn't feel emotions anymore", likes getting peed on, and "doesn't do condoms." Thanks, internet dating. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43906) - you deserved it (11034)
On 04/25/2013 at 11:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I finally hooked up with the guy that I have been in love with forever. If there is such a thing as soul mates, this guy is it. He's my best friend in the whole world. It was the worst sex I have ever had. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52249) - you deserved it (9675)
On 04/25/2013 at 1:33am - intimacy - by Live Sweet -
Today, I found out that my roommate has a masturbation problem; the problem is that he does it in my bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49916) - you deserved it (3007)
On 04/24/2013 at 5:15pm - intimacy - by awkward O_o - United States (Minnesota)
Monday 17 June 2013
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