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Today, I found the engagement ring I'd bought and been missing for a week. On my girlfriend's hand. While my childhood friend was inside her. They apparently like pretending she's married while doing this. They made this self-discovery a week ago. Good for them. I don't want the ring back. FML

Today, my daughter fell asleep early, so my husband and I decided to get frisky. He passed out mid blow job. FML

#21508603
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21114) - you deserved it (2452)

On 12/28/2015 at 12:43am - intimacy - by ThreeWeeksWithoutSex - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting intimate for the first time when she noticed I only have one testicle. She immediately broke up with me, for she doesn't want her future sons to be gay because they'll only have half of their testosterone. FML

#21508578
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25778) - you deserved it (1664)

On 12/27/2015 at 11:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I had a dream where I was having the best sex of my life. With Donald Trump. My boyfriend hasn't stopped laughing. FML

#21508476
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21957) - you deserved it (4761)

On 12/27/2015 at 6:22pm - intimacy - by whatthefuck (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I walked in on the 13 year-old boy I babysit masturbating while sniffing my jacket. FML

#21506706
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24043) - you deserved it (2019)

On 12/22/2015 at 10:19pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, my 15 year-old brother told us his girlfriend is pregnant. He was taught in his abstinence-only sex ed that condoms don't prevent pregnancy. My parents are blaming her pregnancy on me, for not telling him the truth about sex, because parents giving their kids the sex talk is "too awkward." FML

Today, the man I have been in a long-distance relationship with for 2 years told me he has been cheating on me for 6 months, and that he's leaving me for her. I'm due to fly out to see him next week on a non-refundable ticket. He insists that, "we can still hang out, just not have sex". FML

#21506323
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22593) - you deserved it (1900)

On 12/21/2015 at 6:45pm - intimacy - by Sadginger - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, the guy I thought I was exclusive with admitted that the only reason he comes over is because no one else will sleep with him. FML

#21506071
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20381) - you deserved it (2098)

On 12/21/2015 at 12:38am - intimacy - by f4444 - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my father-in-law asked me if I have breast implants in front of the whole family for the third time this month. FML

#21505543
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22986) - you deserved it (1818)

On 12/19/2015 at 3:51pm - intimacy - by sharee - United States (Utah)

Today, while jailbreaking my dad's phone, I found out the hard way that it's jam-packed full of my mom's nudes. FML

#21505100
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20539) - you deserved it (6815)

On 12/18/2015 at 9:15am - intimacy - by brokebackanus (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I turned 18. My dad congratulated me and gifted me his collection of old porn magazines. Not bad, dad, but perhaps not during family dinner next time. FML

#21504691
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23940) - you deserved it (2017)

On 12/17/2015 at 4:10am - intimacy - by NotSoComfortable (man) - Italy (Veneto)

Today, some guy I don't know walked up to me and told me that he's determined to sleep with my girlfriend, then walked away while giving me the finger. I've never seen him before in my life. FML

#21504604
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21865) - you deserved it (1579)

On 12/16/2015 at 9:55pm - intimacy - by MystoganFT - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my wife knelt down in front me to give me a blowjob. As she took my underwear off a moth flew out of them. I've got no idea how it got there but I was cock-blocked by a moth. FML

#21503854
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25677) - you deserved it (5361)

On 12/14/2015 at 11:50pm - intimacy - by Moth_Balled (man) - Australia



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