Today, my boyfriend and I attempted sexting for the first time. After about twenty minutes of Star Wars references, I gave up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37608) - you deserved it (7312)
On 04/19/2013 at 1:14am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)
Today, at the exact moment that I leaned over to show my dad a picture on my phone, my boyfriend texted me: "I'm no weather man, but you can expect a few inches tonight." FML
I agree, your life sucks (53163) - you deserved it (9759)
On 04/17/2013 at 1:39am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate for the first time. A few hours later, we discovered he's highly allergic to my Summer's Eve soap. He looks like he's been attacked by bees. Yay for losing my v-card. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36795) - you deserved it (5863)
On 04/16/2013 at 7:21pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my virginal girlfriend of a year graduated from veterinary school. She can shove her arm shoulder-deep up a cow's ass without blinking, but still feels too insecure to even touch my penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54983) - you deserved it (14248)
Today, my girlfriend confessed that she had drunkenly slept with another guy last night. Since she seemed genuinely upset, and had confessed right away, I decided to forgive her the slip-up. She then angrily broke up with me, because "if I really loved her, I would've been more angry." FML
I agree, your life sucks (56312) - you deserved it (9435)
On 04/16/2013 at 9:27am - intimacy - by notacaveman (man) - Netherlands
Today, I had phone sex with my boyfriend. He had an asthma attack. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47046) - you deserved it (8872)
On 04/15/2013 at 5:09am - intimacy - by JRLJLS (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I told my dad I'm pregnant. His response? "It's only a phase, you'll get over it." FML
I agree, your life sucks (41513) - you deserved it (8044)
On 04/15/2013 at 2:04am - intimacy - by twinArmageddon2 - United States (California)
Today, my girlfriend's parents were out of town, so I stayed the night, hoping for some fun. Somehow, we started talking about conspiracy theories, and she spent the next half hour ranting at me about how Osama bin Laden is really still alive. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34909) - you deserved it (11588)
On 04/12/2013 at 4:17pm - intimacy - by InDisbelief (man) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Just as I was about to orgasm, he pulled away and said that my vagina is like a mask and that he feels like Bane from Batman. He's been talking in a Bane voice to my vagina for 30 minutes now. I guess sex is over. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47507) - you deserved it (5713)
On 04/12/2013 at 11:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex; I know that some women are great multitaskers, but I'm guessing it was a bad sign when she started to go over the shopping list. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36055) - you deserved it (6594)
On 04/12/2013 at 1:05am - intimacy - by Fml (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, and I told him I was close to having an orgasm. He smirked and started talking like Yoda, saying, "Strong with the cum, this one is". Orgasm gone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38495) - you deserved it (5546)
On 04/10/2013 at 12:32pm - intimacy - by iwassoclose - United States
Today, my boyfriend and I went to the store to buy oranges and pick up a pack of condoms. When we were at the checkout counter, my boyfriend happily told the cashier, "The only way we can have sex is if we squeeze oranges all over our bodies." FML
I agree, your life sucks (40246) - you deserved it (7905)
On 04/10/2013 at 12:28am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I refused to go down on my boyfriend of 9 months. He then shoved me off the couch and, half crying, yelled that I was the third girl this week to turn him down. After sobbing for a bit, he looked me in the eyes and said, "I need you to do this so I can prove my manhood." FML
I agree, your life sucks (54785) - you deserved it (7618)
On 04/09/2013 at 7:05am - intimacy - by saywhat (woman) - United States (Washington)
Friday 24 May 2013
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