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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, my coworker decided to give me "the talk". I'm 21 and not a virgin, yet most of what she said was new to me. FML

#21426929
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27060) - you deserved it (4477)

On 06/16/2015 at 8:05am - intimacy - by poorlyparented - United States (Texas)

Today, I laid in bed until 3am kept up by a house party. In my own house. Which my housemates didn't invite me to. FML

#21425804
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24774) - you deserved it (3012)

On 06/14/2015 at 4:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Stockport)

Today, I found out that my homophobic boyfriend, who I was giving a chance to grow the fuck up and get over his obsession with bashing gays, has been cheating on me with another man. FML

#21425403
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38190) - you deserved it (4193)

On 06/13/2015 at 10:26am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was invited to an adult toy party with co-workers. They started by playing a game called 'Never Ever Have I Ever' about everyone's sexual exploits. My mother is a co-worker. I can never un-hear what I heard. FML

#21425174
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28648) - you deserved it (5838)

On 06/12/2015 at 9:22pm - intimacy - by silverspud - United States (Colorado)

Today, I got a Brazilian wax in anticipation of becoming intimate for the first time this weekend with a man I have dated for a few weeks. I'm so sore it hurts just to walk. FML

#21424841
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23908) - you deserved it (6773)

On 06/12/2015 at 2:50am - intimacy - by Pattie (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was talking to an old man I met at a store. He just wanted to know a few things, and he asked about my day. I explained a few bad things that'd happened, then I thanked him for listening. He then asked, "So, how are we gonna do this?" He thought we were gonna fuck. FML

#21424599
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25724) - you deserved it (2494)

On 06/11/2015 at 5:20pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Montana)

Today, I walked in on my husband going down on another woman. Instead of speaking, he looked at me, got up, and slammed the door. FML

#21424579
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33614) - you deserved it (2287)

On 06/11/2015 at 4:51pm - intimacy - by lolatmylovelife - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to endure the most mortifying ambulance ride of my life after my fiancé's cock ring got stuck on my tongue piercing. As I was trying not to choke or vomit, he actually high-fived one of the EMTs and tried to get him to take a picture on his phone. FML

#21424446
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30090) - you deserved it (8652)

On 06/11/2015 at 12:10pm - intimacy - by awkward - United Kingdom (Dumfries and Galloway)

Today, my long-distance boyfriend arrived, took off my bra and told my boobs, "I missed you guys", then took off my panties and said, "Hey buddy" to my vagina before saying he missed me to my face. FML

Today, my apparently insane and now ex-girlfriend actually claimed she didn't technically cheat on me, because she set her Facebook relationship to "single" before screwing my brother. FML

#21423879
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30200) - you deserved it (1807)

On 06/10/2015 at 11:28am - intimacy - by waiting till marriage, she said (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my housemate got back at me for asking for her share of a bill by losing her virginity to the guy I like, very loudly. FML

#21423445
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26285) - you deserved it (2012)

On 06/09/2015 at 4:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Ireland

Today, I received a package from Amazon. My mum smiled at me when I entered the living room, pointing to my package. She had already opened it and held back her smile. My penis pills for longer endurance just got delivered. FML

#21422808
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27003) - you deserved it (7879)

On 06/08/2015 at 12:00pm - intimacy - by Wrabel (man) - Germany (Rheinland-Pfalz)

Today, I am going to take a law school test. My Mom told me to relax, so I told her, "I'm better at stressing out, so I have something to fall back on if I bomb the test." To which she replied, "And masturbating, you've always excelled at that." FML

#21422751
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24400) - you deserved it (4143)

On 06/08/2015 at 9:35am - intimacy - by LZapped (man) - United States (Illinois)



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