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Man or woman?

Today, after a tremendously hot night with a guy I met the night before, I ask him his phone number. To which he replied: "What for?" FML

#363
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32159) - you deserved it (9131)

On 11/22/2008 at 3:17am - intimacy - by izoliv - Sent from mobile version

Today, my girlfriend came home with new condoms: Manix Endurance containing a numbing gel designed to help me "last longer". FML

#359
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33598) - you deserved it (9662)

On 11/21/2008 at 11:03pm - intimacy - by CoCo - Sent from mobile version

Today, my 14-year-old little sister asked me how I felt when I had my first sexual intercourse. I told her it was personal and was none of her business. She then looked at me and said "I thought it was nice". I'm 19 and I'm still a virgin. FML

#353
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46756) - you deserved it (5565)

On 11/21/2008 at 2:23am - intimacy - by KoNi - Sent from mobile version

Today, when I woke up, my husband was already up. Thinking I hear him in the hall I shout out "come on, don't be shy, bring that cock in here right now!". A voice replies: "he's gone out to get some bread". It was my mother-in-law. FML

#351
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40844) - you deserved it (15336)

On 11/20/2008 at 10:41pm - intimacy - by Tinker-Bell - Sent from mobile version

Today, after making love to my girlfriend, I realised that the phone was on the bed and because of the movements, it called my dad by itself. It went to voicemail. My dad will soon have all the details. FML

#346
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35091) - you deserved it (8537)

On 11/20/2008 at 5:19am - intimacy - by Maxime - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was making love with my girlfriend and my landline rang. Obviously, I let it go to voicemail. At the very moment I was about to cum, I heard my mum's voice on my voicemail: "Hi sweetheart!" FML

#337
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42564) - you deserved it (4136)

On 11/18/2008 at 11:58pm - intimacy - by Gwayhir - Sent from mobile version

Today, I sent a text message to my girlfriend telling her how much I wanted to make love to her tonight. I've just realized I sent it to her brother. FML

#303
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38252) - you deserved it (20417)

On 11/14/2008 at 6:20am - intimacy - by Kaji - Sent from mobile version

Today, I took advantage of the fact that my wife was sleeping to watch a porn film on my computer. I put headphones on so that she wouldn't hear. It wasn't until she came out of her bedroom that I realised I hadn't plugged them in properly. FML

#296
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9134) - you deserved it (51303)

On 11/13/2008 at 5:31am - intimacy - by Skylan - Sent from mobile version

Today, right after sex, my girlfriend apologized to the neighbor for the screaming. He thanked her for the entertainment. FML

#288
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43322) - you deserved it (9397)

On 11/12/2008 at 9:39am - intimacy - by AirOne - United States (New York)

Today, I remember the first night I spent with my first English boyfriend. I'm French, and when we woke up, I said in my most sexy voice "Oh, I'm so dirty!" It's only when he left that I finally understood the look on his face; I wanted to have a glass of water. I was thirsty, not dirty. FML

#286
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28665) - you deserved it (6990)

On 11/12/2008 at 3:10am - intimacy - by aur - Sent from mobile version

Today, my mum was watching a program about sexually transmitted diseases. Later on she starts telling me that I should be careful and use the right protection when having sex. Suddenly she stops and says « Actually I don’t know why I’m telling you this, after all you don’t have a boyfriend! » and walks away. FML

#257
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49966) - you deserved it (4533)

On 11/09/2008 at 2:43am - intimacy - by Enko - Sent from mobile version

Today, I just woke up next to the most unpopular girl in school. Damn Vodka. FML

#228
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17936) - you deserved it (131446)

On 11/06/2008 at 4:43am - intimacy - by Ben-Ben - Sent from mobile version

Today, my little brother, who is 11, explained to me how babies are made. I’m 15. FML

#123
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46411) - you deserved it (16200)

On 10/28/2008 at 11:57am - intimacy - by HappyGirl - France (Centre)



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