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Man or woman?

Today, I decided to spend a night of love with my darling, so I arranged to meet him in a very classy hotel, gave him the room number and waited in a super-sexy outfit. There was a knock at the door, so I opened it enticingly, convinced it was him. It was room service. FML

#457
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27109) - you deserved it (9969)

On 12/05/2008 at 11:54pm - intimacy - by vaness@ - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend told me in a very natural way that my mother is better at sex than me. FML

#452
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71302) - you deserved it (3950)

On 12/05/2008 at 3:12am - intimacy - by Mak1 - Belgium (Brabant)

Today, after having waited three long months, my shy girlfriend finally gave me a blowjob. Everything was going really well until I said, "Wow, you're really talented. Anyone would think you've been practicing your whole life." FML

#447
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8840) - you deserved it (53919)

On 12/04/2008 at 12:55am - intimacy - by noname - Sent from mobile version

Today, I realised that the steamy photos that I took with my ex a few months ago had not been erased from his father's camera. FML

#441
13 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22476) - you deserved it (16297)

On 12/03/2008 at 2:26am - intimacy - by Yum - Sent from mobile version

Today, I discovered that my 15 year old girl had hidden a disgusting porn film in the "future career" folder. FML

#437
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41150) - you deserved it (5989)

On 12/02/2008 at 3:27am - intimacy - by hell! - Sent from mobile version

Today, my girlfriend told me that I was irrationally jealous. I’ve just learnt that she has a website where she masturbates in front of a webcam. FML

#426
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54354) - you deserved it (3324)

On 12/01/2008 at 1:09am - intimacy - by Maestro - Sent from mobile version

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my parents. We all looked together at family photos on the computer. The first picture was a close up of my mother, bare breasts in full view. FML

#417
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28733) - you deserved it (2303)

On 11/29/2008 at 9:34pm - intimacy - by Rosies - Sent from mobile version

Today, well actually last night, I did a full striptease for my girlfriend to "You can leave your hat on". When the song was over, I was then completely naked, she says to me : "Maybe we should have closed the shutters!" FML

#413
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30050) - you deserved it (10122)

On 11/29/2008 at 6:50am - intimacy - by ... - Sent from mobile version

Today, my dad surprised me by moving my bed (involving disassembling and reassembling it) in my new room, because I couldn't find how I wanted to set it up. He also took care of putting back my vibrator between the mattress and the base, where it was hidden. FML

#405
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35745) - you deserved it (9547)

On 11/28/2008 at 3:50am - intimacy - by Sam - Sent from mobile version

Today, I haven't had sex for so long that my condoms have gone off. FML

#404
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29757) - you deserved it (6680)

On 11/28/2008 at 1:30am - intimacy - by clash - Sent from mobile version

Today, I heard my next door neighbour screaming as if someone was trying to slice her throat. Her window was open. Intrigued, I went onto my balcony and asked if everything was okay, and if she needed anything. She and her boyfriend shout back in unison: "We're F*ing, go away". FML

#398
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34162) - you deserved it (7260)

On 11/27/2008 at 3:52am - intimacy - by ehbe - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was performing the classic 69 position with my girlfriend. I wasn't able to control it : I farted right into her nose. FML

#391
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44434) - you deserved it (24316)

On 11/25/2008 at 11:43pm - intimacy - by USSEYL - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)

Today, I was looking for a magazine in my mother's bedside cabinet and I came across some daft test about sex. Apparently, my mother likes anal, oral, and my dad's cock is bent. Nauseous. FML

#386
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37920) - you deserved it (8917)

On 11/25/2008 at 3:54am - intimacy - by mael - Sent from mobile version



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