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Today, whilst reading all 15 pages of this site, my French girlfriend asked me over my shoulder for translations, such as "What is buttsex?", "What is wanking?", and "What means farted?" FML

#513
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22486) - you deserved it (5832)

On 12/14/2008 at 8:14am - intimacy - by james - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I surprise my girlfriend by turning up at her flat on her twenty-fourth birthday. She gets up from the couch as I enter and I shout: "Tonight, my cock is going to stab you twenty-four times!" (Okay, that's not smart). That's when her father glances over from the couch and greets me. FML

#509
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10706) - you deserved it (58987)

On 12/13/2008 at 10:58pm - intimacy - by Mateo - Sent from mobile version

Today, I caught my cat humping my dog while he was asleep. I'm sleeping with the door closed from now on. FML

#497
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32034) - you deserved it (3237)

On 12/11/2008 at 10:31pm - intimacy - by Black - Lebanon (Beqaa)

Today, my boyfriend and I had the house to ourselves. We started getting a little frisky when we discovered we out of condoms. After a quick run to the store, we found ourselves locked out of the house. Now we have condoms, but no way to use them. FML

#489
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24485) - you deserved it (15952)

On 12/10/2008 at 2:31pm - intimacy - by AudreyUs - United States (California)

Today, during foreplay with my boyfriend, I put my legs around his neck. He pushed them away violently, shouting, "Bloody hell, it's prickling me!" I'd shaved the day before. FML

#487
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31460) - you deserved it (6593)

On 12/10/2008 at 2:48am - intimacy - by Sugao - Sent from mobile version

Today, I wanted to wake up my sweetheart with a surprise blowjob. He surprised me as well with a knee to the stomach. FML

#469
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28829) - you deserved it (7690)

On 12/08/2008 at 7:05am - intimacy - by Soline - Sent from mobile version

Today, I decided to spend a night of love with my darling, so I arranged to meet him in a very classy hotel, gave him the room number and waited in a super-sexy outfit. There was a knock at the door, so I opened it enticingly, convinced it was him. It was room service. FML

#457
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27050) - you deserved it (9959)

On 12/05/2008 at 11:54pm - intimacy - by vaness@ - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend told me in a very natural way that my mother is better at sex than me. FML

#452
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71219) - you deserved it (3942)

On 12/05/2008 at 3:12am - intimacy - by Mak1 - Belgium (Brabant)

Today, after having waited three long months, my shy girlfriend finally gave me a blowjob. Everything was going really well until I said, "Wow, you're really talented. Anyone would think you've been practicing your whole life." FML

#447
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8823) - you deserved it (53856)

On 12/04/2008 at 12:55am - intimacy - by noname - Sent from mobile version

Today, I realised that the steamy photos that I took with my ex a few months ago had not been erased from his father's camera. FML

#441
13 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22430) - you deserved it (16285)

On 12/03/2008 at 2:26am - intimacy - by Yum - Sent from mobile version

Today, I discovered that my 15 year old girl had hidden a disgusting porn film in the "future career" folder. FML

#437
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41112) - you deserved it (5985)

On 12/02/2008 at 3:27am - intimacy - by hell! - Sent from mobile version

Today, my girlfriend told me that I was irrationally jealous. I’ve just learnt that she has a website where she masturbates in front of a webcam. FML

#426
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54294) - you deserved it (3320)

On 12/01/2008 at 1:09am - intimacy - by Maestro - Sent from mobile version

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my parents. We all looked together at family photos on the computer. The first picture was a close up of my mother, bare breasts in full view. FML

#417
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28654) - you deserved it (2301)

On 11/29/2008 at 9:34pm - intimacy - by Rosies - Sent from mobile version



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