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Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try anal sex. When he was done, I turned around to see him holding a strap-on with a smile on his face and said 'Now, do me'. FML

#142795
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (253912) - you deserved it (59837)

On 02/26/2009 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Picaresque (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I saw my ex-girlfriend across the street. I was walking with a girl whom I'd been hooking up with and wanted to make my ex-girlfriend jealous. I kissed her and she immediately smacked me. I got a "ha-ha" text message from my ex. FML

#142749
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15874) - you deserved it (88950)

On 02/26/2009 at 12:49pm - intimacy - by Noname - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I met a guy at a bar and we went back to my room. We start having sex and about 30 seconds in he stops and says it's not right - he likes me too much for a one night stand. He gives me his number, a kiss on the cheek and leaves. Turns out he already came. I call his phone - wrong number. FML

#139747
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76175) - you deserved it (18770)

On 02/25/2009 at 11:51pm - intimacy - by jsw029 (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend and I were fooling around. I was sitting up on my bed when he reached down near my privates and said, "Wow babe, did you shave today? It's so soft..." He was actually touching my bottom roll above my vagina which delightfully formed a crease. FML

#139235
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52185) - you deserved it (19983)

On 02/25/2009 at 11:09pm - intimacy - by sopathetic (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I decided to practice putting a condom on with my mouth. Then my roommate walked in on me using my mouth to roll a condom onto a banana. FML

#138318
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14188) - you deserved it (68437)

On 02/25/2009 at 10:01pm - intimacy - by banana (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, we were fooling around and I was just about to orgasm when she looks at my clock and says "I have to go LOST is on in 20 minutes." FML

#135625
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63658) - you deserved it (8172)

On 02/25/2009 at 6:26pm - intimacy - by notmyday (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to get a condom because my boyfriend and I were going to have sex for the first time. When I opened the drawer, I saw that every single condom had a Jesus pin stabbed through it, and a note on top of the box: "love mom." FML

#126669
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (122233) - you deserved it (22187)

On 02/24/2009 at 8:20pm - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my hard drive on my computer crashed with all of my files on it. I took it to my Dad, who is a computer analyst, to see if he could recover anything. The only thing that he could salvage was my illustrious collection of porn. FML

#125777
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19331) - you deserved it (60842)

On 02/24/2009 at 6:57pm - intimacy - by Noname (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my guy friend and I were in his dorm room watching a movie when he started kissing me. Things heated up so we moved things over to his bed. He was on me when a hand shoots down from his top bunk. His roommate had been up there the whole time and he wanted a high-five. So they high-fived. FML

#125499
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82159) - you deserved it (20436)

On 02/24/2009 at 6:32pm - intimacy - by Menareidiots (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, while working on a medical school application, I asked my mom what she thought my greatest challenge in life had been. She replied : "Trying to lose your virginity." FML

#122918
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72054) - you deserved it (5822)

On 02/24/2009 at 1:16pm - intimacy - by Dr. Virgin (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was on an Easyjet flight, next to two attractive girls, listening to a track which starts with a woman pleasuring herself. I don't like this track so I go to skip it but accidentally unplug my headphones, activating my phone speakers and revealing the said woman at the peak of her orgasm. FML

#121719
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21301) - you deserved it (51362)

On 02/24/2009 at 6:57am - intimacy - by Byron fiddles (man) - Hungary (Budapest)

Today, me and my girlfriend were watching some show about sex on the discovery channel. The topic of female orgasms came up and she said, "Wow, I wonder what that's like?" We've been dating and sexually active for three years. FML

#121656
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41078) - you deserved it (16879)

On 02/24/2009 at 6:01am - intimacy - by secret123 - United States



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