Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, mah husband and I decidd to get a little frisky in bd!! After we were done we lay spent on our bd then only to hear weird noises coming from our doorway!! To our surprise not only had our daughter taken her first steps but has been watching and now making the noises as well!! FML

Today... I found out just how thin the walls at mah new student flat are. They are so thin in fact... that I can hear the creepy guy next door say mah full name over and over again very slowly whilst masturbating rigorously. FML

#2738282
303 comments

I agree, your life sucks (109150) - you deserved it (4865)

On 06/09/2009 at 9:36am - intimacy - by SleepyKirsty (woman) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today ma mom walks into ma room wit a serious look on er face asks me "Wen a man is getting it from beind te man on top orgasms but wat appens to te man on bottom? Do u tink e takes care of imself or wat?" Hand motions were included . FML

#2736001
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (80663) - you deserved it (5317)

On 06/09/2009 at 4:14am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

yastarday I had a data with this raally cuta guy. Ha invitad ma ovar to maka dinnar at his placa. Evantually wa and up in his badroom to hava sax. Ha pulls down my pantias an says ( You naad to shava that shit. ) big fat FML

#2734034
457 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51875) - you deserved it (65309)

On 06/09/2009 at 1:27am - intimacy - by lagirl (woman) - United States (California)

TODAY , I WAS CAMPING. ME AN TIS REALLY CUTE GIRL WERE ITTING IT OFF REAL NICE. IT WAS TE LAST NIGT SO WE BOT EADED OVER TO MY TENT TO AVE SEX. I WAS JUST ABOUT TO GET IT IN WEN A RACCOON RIPPED MY TENT CAUSING TE GIRL TO SCREAM AN RUNAWAY. I GOT COCKBLOCKED BY A RACCOON. FML

#2729024
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70316) - you deserved it (8444)

On 06/08/2009 at 7:24pm - intimacy - by Baggabbles123 (man) - Canada (Ontario)

2day I got hypnotized at mah looool school's variety show. Apparently,hen asked to do something I enjoy doing, I began to violently hump the floor. FML

#2722142
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84298) - you deserved it (20473)

On 06/08/2009 at 3:41pm - intimacy - by OhGeez (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today.. . I got prostate examination fir the first time . Now I can't decide what's worse.. . the fact that I got a boner when the doc inserted his finger.. . or the fact that my wife told the story to pretty much everybody we know . FML

#2715001
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66576) - you deserved it (6357)

On 06/08/2009 at 9:48am - intimacy - by prostate (man) - United States (California)

I Was At A 21st Birtday Party. It Got To Ta Bit Wara Tay Blow Out Ta Candlas And Ta Girl Osting Blaw Out Ar Candlas. Wila Sa Was Blowing I Wispard To Ta Falla Naxt To Ma... "Tat's Not Ta Only Ting Sa'll Ba Blowing Tonigt". Ta Guy Naxt To Ma Was Ar Dad. FML

#2713232
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14994) - you deserved it (86191)

On 06/08/2009 at 6:39am - intimacy - by baller (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I had to tell a grl I liked she couldn't sleep over cuz I live with mah parents. I'm 24. big fat FML

#2711577
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25121) - you deserved it (63256)

On 06/08/2009 at 3:32am - intimacy - by levit (man) - United States (Washington)

TODAY, I WOKE UP TO MY WIFE TALKING IN HER SLEEP, "NO BRANDON! I DON'T WANT TO HAVE SEX!" MY WIFE WON'T HAVE SEX WITH MEHEN SHE'S AWAKE OR IN HER DREAMS. FML

#2697150
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74996) - you deserved it (5879)

On 06/07/2009 at 5:49pm - intimacy - by BW (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, in an effort to seduce my husband, I laid in bd caressing myself !! He walkd in, lookd at me, and said, ( Is the ground beef in the freezer still good? ) When I answerd yes, he turnd and walkd out of the room !! FML

#2693360
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52216) - you deserved it (6068)

On 06/07/2009 at 3:14pm - intimacy - by szinna (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I Was Hard At Work Cleaning Up From A Party I Had While My Parents Were Out 4 The Night. Not A Bottle Of Beer Or A Rd Cup Was Left 4 Them To Find. However, My Parents Did Find Two Of My Friends In There Bedroom, Still Passd Out And Nakd From Beer And Sex Last Night.

#2685483
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17973) - you deserved it (73799)

On 06/07/2009 at 7:41am - intimacy - by zep (man) - United States (Arizona)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: