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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was trying to get my car out of my boyfriend's apartment garage but couldn't. Why? Because somebody decided to park in front if the garage door and have sex. Complete with steamed windows and loud noises. FML

#7771404
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19711) - you deserved it (2514)

On 02/01/2010 at 2:31am - intimacy - by ocroyalty (woman) - United States (California)

Today, things heated up with the new guy I've been seeing for a couple of weeks, he kept saying things like "I want you so bad" and "it's going to take hours" to the point that I was so hot, I decided to go for it. Apparently he has "a problem sometimes" getting it up. FML

#7753113
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20950) - you deserved it (3673)

On 01/31/2010 at 7:20pm - intimacy - by unsatisfied (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I got to talk to the guy I like. Thinking it would be about something pleasant. I was completely wrong. It was about the guy who sits in front of me and his masturbation problem. FML

#7728542
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23942) - you deserved it (2996)

On 01/31/2010 at 12:01am - intimacy - by Me - United States

Today, my boyfriend, of a year, got drunk and called me flat chested then said the reason he won't have sex with me anymore is because he is "used" to me. He said all of this in front of his friends. FML

#7701844
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23326) - you deserved it (2739)

On 01/30/2010 at 9:25am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I had to lie to my therapist about my sex life to make me feel better. FML

#7696686
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19713) - you deserved it (6070)

On 01/30/2010 at 1:50am - intimacy - by virgo - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because he has "commitment issues". He said he "cared" for me but didn't "love" me. He did this 30 minutes after we'd hooked up and said we loved each other. FML

#7669897
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19854) - you deserved it (4733)

On 01/29/2010 at 9:14am - intimacy - by rejected (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was on my grandparents' computer looking for my old high school resume. I came across a word document titled "Experiences". Thinking it was part of my resume, I opened it up and started reading. It was a brief, yet explicit record of my grandfather's recent sexual frustrations. FML

#7631314
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18631) - you deserved it (5150)

On 01/28/2010 at 12:00am - intimacy - by nick (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, after confessing my love for my best friend, he looked at me and said "I'm not feeling it. But does this mean we can have sex?" FML

#7618857
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24724) - you deserved it (3447)

On 01/27/2010 at 7:09pm - intimacy - by Boned...hard - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was letting my boyfriend of 4 years tie me up and do stuff to me. After finishing on my face, he then left. My parents had to untie me. FML

#7609277
335 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47045) - you deserved it (13444)

On 01/27/2010 at 8:35am - intimacy - by chanclepants - Sent from mobile version

Today, I realized that my ex-girlfriend has gone further with a girl than I have. FML

#7608615
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24805) - you deserved it (5019)

On 01/27/2010 at 6:55am - intimacy - by Patrick - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend decided to perform a strip tease for me. As he was stripping out of his clothes, he took his shirt and then pants off first. He was wearing zebra striped knee high socks and underwear. I burst out laughing. He left. FML

#7606758
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10959) - you deserved it (26287)

On 01/27/2010 at 2:35am - intimacy - by DuChaillu (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was having sex with a girl when her parents decided to come home early. Trying to run out the back door I fell and broke my ankle. Not only did her former Navy Seal father find out I was banging his little princess, he drove me to the ER, alone. FML

#7598826
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13864) - you deserved it (28891)

On 01/26/2010 at 9:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, I learned that removing your boyfriends boxers with your teeth is waaaay less sexy when you accidentally bite a chunk of his pubes and yank them out in the process. FML

#7585326
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9384) - you deserved it (26251)

On 01/26/2010 at 3:59am - intimacy - by sexyfail (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)



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