Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend and accidentally called her Brad (one of my roomates name) when I came. Now her and her friends think i'm gay and my roomate Brad moved out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32018) - you deserved it (25998)
On 01/29/2009 at 4:44pm - intimacy - by GavinHosler - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was at a bar in Canada and was really hitting it off with a girl. She asked how big my junk was and I told her in inches... They use centimeters. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17486) - you deserved it (33198)
On 01/29/2009 at 10:32am - intimacy - by KD - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my nephew asked me how babies are made. I thought he'd had this chat with his mom, but I went in to it again. After a 20 minute 'discussion', he says "So what about the good stuff - get to the blowjobs and the lesbians." He's 11. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22475) - you deserved it (2311)
On 01/28/2009 at 9:31pm - intimacy - by epistaxis - Australia (Queensland)
Today, my boyfriend told me he watched True Life I'm Pregnant. Now I know why we haven't been having sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15778) - you deserved it (1794)
On 01/28/2009 at 4:58pm - intimacy - by hgirl - United States (Maryland)
Today, I almost had an orgasm. Unfortunately, he had one first. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41188) - you deserved it (5329)
On 01/28/2009 at 1:36pm - intimacy - by karma - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I was in bed next to the boy I loved, he had just came and passed out immediately afterwards. I reached over to look at my phone but grabbed his instead and saw a text message from his ex-girlfriend that read "I love you too." FML
I agree, your life sucks (37399) - you deserved it (2445)
On 01/28/2009 at 10:12am - intimacy - by splooge - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend and as I pulled out to finish I slipped and ended up punching her in the stomach, I came while she was writhing in pain. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26003) - you deserved it (8435)
On 01/27/2009 at 5:26pm - intimacy - by ottawaaa - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I finally broke my two year dry spell, but as she was putting on the condom, I came. She laughed from the time she was putting on her clothes to when she walked out the door. I don't think she's going to call back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33224) - you deserved it (6923)
On 01/27/2009 at 7:47am - intimacy - by theguy24 - United States (Nebraska)
Today, my boyfriend fell asleep during phone sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15391) - you deserved it (18471)
On 01/27/2009 at 6:22am - intimacy - by Noname - United States (Texas)
Today, I went to surprise my boyfriend in the shower. I opened the door and there was a giant shit in the open toilet. I pretended I was looking for my hairbrush. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22047) - you deserved it (5473)
On 01/26/2009 at 4:45pm - intimacy - by bad surprise - United States (New York)
Today, I tried to suck my own penis. Autofellatio. My mother walked in on me and I flipped backwards off the bed. ER and 10 stiches above my eyebrow later, I asked her not to ever bring it up again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12396) - you deserved it (54108)
On 01/26/2009 at 4:09pm - intimacy - by Boredom - United States
Today, the pharmacy lady wished me a happy birthday. I was buying the morning after pill. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22166) - you deserved it (5367)
On 01/25/2009 at 7:14pm - intimacy - by God hates me - United States (Texas)
Today, I was talking to my mom about my younger brother getting his girlfriend pregnant. She asked me how old I was when I first had sex. I'm a 21 year old virgin. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31113) - you deserved it (3731)
On 01/25/2009 at 8:52am - intimacy - by aces10 - United States (Michigan)
Monday 20 May 2013
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