Today, I made my new girlfriend orgasm for the first time. All she said after was "I drooled a little". FML
I agree, your life sucks (26807) - you deserved it (4072)
On 02/01/2009 at 10:48am - intimacy - by nicknack22 - United States (Michigan)
Today, I slept with this new guy for the first time. After sex, he said the doggie style position was fun, it made him wonder what it would be like to rape a girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56116) - you deserved it (4761)
On 02/01/2009 at 5:53am - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (New York)
Today, I masturbated 3 times to the thought of my wife because we don't have sex anymore. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54277) - you deserved it (6481)
On 02/01/2009 at 5:27am - intimacy - by SuperJesus - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)
Today, I was playing with 3 kids I look after. The middle one has just learned about sex and started chanting that I had done it with the eldest as a joke. We were in the garden and the neighbours heard. Now I am fired, have to leave the house and am being investigated by the police. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51605) - you deserved it (1983)
On 02/01/2009 at 3:54am - intimacy - by Jack - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I was with the guy I am seeing and I were fooling around in my room. I asked him if he wanted to have sex. He said he didn't have time because he had to go play Mario Kart. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36099) - you deserved it (2201)
On 01/31/2009 at 3:01pm - intimacy - by Yoshi - United States (California)
Today, I tried to befriend the lonely boy who sits at the end of my table at lunch. He always sleeps or does homework during lunch. I walked over to him, tripped, and spilled my open bottle of water on his jeans. I apologized profusely and wiped off his pants with napkins. He got hard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22286) - you deserved it (7509)
On 01/31/2009 at 12:01pm - intimacy - by brighteyes - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I had sex with a guy. As he was sleeping next to me, I checked his facebook messages and saw that he sent a message to one of his buddies asking what kind of lotion helps get rid of crabs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14574) - you deserved it (47831)
On 01/31/2009 at 10:04am - intimacy - by DDD - Sent from mobile version
Today, I woke up with the worst hangover of my life. My best friend comes over and informs me that I had sex with my girlfriend's two best friends last night. Awesome! Then I realized her best friends are guys. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7149) - you deserved it (14859)
On 01/31/2009 at 9:43am - intimacy - by Ah hell - United States (Ohio)
Today, I was sexiled. So that my roommate and the boy who I confessed my love to two days before could hook up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19428) - you deserved it (1216)
On 01/30/2009 at 6:17pm - intimacy - by janie - United States (District of Columbia)
Today, I thought I was giving a woman the orgasm of a lifetime until I realized that she was telling me to stop pulling her hair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7537) - you deserved it (28981)
On 01/30/2009 at 4:07pm - intimacy - by Hubris - United States (Arkansas)
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend and accidentally called her Brad (one of my roomates name) when I came. Now her and her friends think i'm gay and my roomate Brad moved out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31996) - you deserved it (25981)
On 01/29/2009 at 4:44pm - intimacy - by GavinHosler - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was at a bar in Canada and was really hitting it off with a girl. She asked how big my junk was and I told her in inches... They use centimeters. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17471) - you deserved it (33178)
On 01/29/2009 at 10:32am - intimacy - by KD - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my nephew asked me how babies are made. I thought he'd had this chat with his mom, but I went in to it again. After a 20 minute 'discussion', he says "So what about the good stuff - get to the blowjobs and the lesbians." He's 11. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22462) - you deserved it (2310)
On 01/28/2009 at 9:31pm - intimacy - by epistaxis - Australia (Queensland)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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