Today, I was masturbating to a girl with huge tits on the internet. I then scrolled down and found out she had a penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6955) - you deserved it (40598)
On 02/01/2009 at 5:17pm - intimacy - by Noname - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I walked in on my Mum and Dad having sex and didn't even realize what they were doing until she shouted at him to go harder. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35696) - you deserved it (4073)
On 02/01/2009 at 12:38pm - intimacy - by Bear - United Kingdom (Reading)
Today, I made my new girlfriend orgasm for the first time. All she said after was "I drooled a little". FML
I agree, your life sucks (26811) - you deserved it (4072)
On 02/01/2009 at 10:48am - intimacy - by nicknack22 - United States (Michigan)
Today, I slept with this new guy for the first time. After sex, he said the doggie style position was fun, it made him wonder what it would be like to rape a girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56120) - you deserved it (4761)
On 02/01/2009 at 5:53am - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (New York)
Today, I masturbated 3 times to the thought of my wife because we don't have sex anymore. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54292) - you deserved it (6481)
On 02/01/2009 at 5:27am - intimacy - by SuperJesus - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)
Today, I was playing with 3 kids I look after. The middle one has just learned about sex and started chanting that I had done it with the eldest as a joke. We were in the garden and the neighbours heard. Now I am fired, have to leave the house and am being investigated by the police. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51620) - you deserved it (1983)
On 02/01/2009 at 3:54am - intimacy - by Jack - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I was with the guy I am seeing and I were fooling around in my room. I asked him if he wanted to have sex. He said he didn't have time because he had to go play Mario Kart. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36108) - you deserved it (2202)
On 01/31/2009 at 3:01pm - intimacy - by Yoshi - United States (California)
Today, I tried to befriend the lonely boy who sits at the end of my table at lunch. He always sleeps or does homework during lunch. I walked over to him, tripped, and spilled my open bottle of water on his jeans. I apologized profusely and wiped off his pants with napkins. He got hard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22297) - you deserved it (7510)
On 01/31/2009 at 12:01pm - intimacy - by brighteyes - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I had sex with a guy. As he was sleeping next to me, I checked his facebook messages and saw that he sent a message to one of his buddies asking what kind of lotion helps get rid of crabs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14573) - you deserved it (47839)
On 01/31/2009 at 10:04am - intimacy - by DDD - Sent from mobile version
Today, I woke up with the worst hangover of my life. My best friend comes over and informs me that I had sex with my girlfriend's two best friends last night. Awesome! Then I realized her best friends are guys. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7152) - you deserved it (14862)
On 01/31/2009 at 9:43am - intimacy - by Ah hell - United States (Ohio)
Today, I was sexiled. So that my roommate and the boy who I confessed my love to two days before could hook up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19436) - you deserved it (1216)
On 01/30/2009 at 6:17pm - intimacy - by janie - United States (District of Columbia)
Today, I thought I was giving a woman the orgasm of a lifetime until I realized that she was telling me to stop pulling her hair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7541) - you deserved it (28987)
On 01/30/2009 at 4:07pm - intimacy - by Hubris - United States (Arkansas)
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend and accidentally called her Brad (one of my roomates name) when I came. Now her and her friends think i'm gay and my roomate Brad moved out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32012) - you deserved it (25986)
On 01/29/2009 at 4:44pm - intimacy - by GavinHosler - United States (Michigan)
Monday 20 May 2013
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