Today, I was talking to my 81-year-old widowed grandmother on the phone, and she told me she was giving up sex for lent. Not only do I now have a vision of my grandma having sex, I am reminded that she is having more sex than me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59085) - you deserved it (3575)
On 02/23/2009 at 5:02pm - intimacy - by unlucky_vee_13 (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I went to the Doctors and the nurse asked if I was married, in which I responded "yes". Then she asked if I was sexually active... "no". FML
I agree, your life sucks (65539) - you deserved it (8905)
On 02/23/2009 at 2:40pm - intimacy - by starbird (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I was discussing sex with my guy friends in their dorm when I asked one of them what he would do if I got naked and crawled into his bed. He replied, "Nothing. You're one of the guys now." They all agreed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53353) - you deserved it (17166)
On 02/23/2009 at 2:28pm - intimacy - by NeverGonnaGetAny (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my mum came home from a business trip. My four-year-old brother, who I'd been watching, told her I was "sexing" my boyfriend a lot after I put him to bed. After lots of arguing, she banned me from seeing him and took my car away. Only much later did I realize my brother meant "texting". FML
I agree, your life sucks (68704) - you deserved it (3864)
On 02/23/2009 at 11:47am - intimacy - by Megan (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I accidentally walked in on my girlfriend masturbating so I said to her, "Need a hand with that?" to which she replied "I'm doing fine here on my own, don't ruin it." FML
I agree, your life sucks (74940) - you deserved it (17330)
On 02/23/2009 at 8:14am - intimacy - by Anonn (man) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I went to the store to buy some condoms for my girlfriend, Kim and I. I was in a rush and when I looked at the cashier realized it was her father. Nervous and hoping to reassure him, I go "don't worry, I'm not using these with Kim." That didn't help. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21942) - you deserved it (60523)
On 02/22/2009 at 8:38pm - intimacy - by madfather (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, for my birthday my boyfriend bought me a sexy outfit to wear for him. At the bottom of the bag was a razor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26593) - you deserved it (13223)
On 02/22/2009 at 8:32pm - intimacy - by Noname - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my girlfriend told me she wanted me to be her first and last...with plenty of people in between. FML
I agree, your life sucks (57207) - you deserved it (4345)
On 02/22/2009 at 10:10am - intimacy - by Charles (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)
Today, while I was making out with my boyfriend, he left my dorm suddenly without telling me where he was going. A few hours later, he texted me to tell me that being with me made him feel dirty and he had gone to confession. He then called me a sinner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (67168) - you deserved it (5802)
On 02/21/2009 at 10:23pm - intimacy - by not getting any anymore (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I went to the doctor with my parents. When the doctor asked if I was sexually active, I said 'Yes.' My mom laughed and said 'Good one.' My dad, for added effect said, 'Your hand doesn't count.' FML
I agree, your life sucks (54269) - you deserved it (5266)
On 02/21/2009 at 10:16pm - intimacy - by Nails (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blowjob, which I don't normally do because I have a fear of getting hit in the eye. Afterwards, I went to suck a lemon to get the taste out of my mouth. Sure enough, I bit the wrong spot and had lemon juice shoot right into my eye. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23481) - you deserved it (67267)
On 02/21/2009 at 9:07pm - intimacy - by svet (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He said I was way too good at sex so I must have lied about not having much experience, and he "wouldn't be with someone who is hiding something." WTF? FML
I agree, your life sucks (73545) - you deserved it (5503)
On 02/21/2009 at 7:13pm - intimacy - by pchemist (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend for the first time, and she asked me if I ever get made fun of in the locker room for my small penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (80734) - you deserved it (5456)
On 02/21/2009 at 5:24pm - intimacy - by Mike (man) - United States (New York)
Monday 17 June 2013
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