Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, after going to the doctor to have him look at a rash on my man bits, I asked him how to get rid of the redness. He shrugged and said: "Don't worry, nobody will see it other than you and me." He's right. FML

#9029398
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25526) - you deserved it (2870)

On 03/12/2010 at 7:19pm - intimacy - by argh (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I had to explain to my sister why it's unhygienic, socially unacceptable and downright inappropriate to apply Thrush ointment in the lounge room. I realised I wasn't getting through to her when she called me ''Uptight,'' ''Victorian" and ''prudish'' to name a few. FML

#9017056
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19523) - you deserved it (2823)

On 03/12/2010 at 3:26am - intimacy - by 1378 (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I found out my ex boyfriend who recently cheated on me and broke up with me for another girl, has herpes. Guess how I found out? FML

#8993133
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39269) - you deserved it (4311)

On 03/11/2010 at 7:50am - intimacy - by cheated (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, while getting it on with my wife, I started to talk dirty to her. She started laughing. When I asked her if she wanted me to stop, she just kept on laughing. FML

#8993130
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20784) - you deserved it (4552)

On 03/11/2010 at 7:50am - intimacy - by StretchNuts - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when he finished, seemingly angry. He stood there naked complaining for 15 minutes about how our sex sucked. Then he demanded that I dress him because "it's my fault his clothes were off in the first place". FML

#8980623
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34823) - you deserved it (5396)

On 03/10/2010 at 8:10pm - intimacy - by cmore - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having phone sex when he stopped responding. Five minutes later and ready to hang up, he apologized because he got distracted with his game of Tetris. FML

#8973214
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23123) - you deserved it (3811)

On 03/10/2010 at 3:29pm - intimacy - by Jamie - United States (Florida)

Today, while on the bus, an old man told me about all the many things he wanted to do with my various orifices. FML

#8972575
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24256) - you deserved it (2557)

On 03/10/2010 at 2:54pm - intimacy - by robotchickens (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, when I went to see a movie with my best friend, and there were 3 girls loudly discussing blow job techniques. I texted my boyfriend about how gross the conversation was. His reply was "Pay attention. You might learn something." FML

#8966717
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14186) - you deserved it (28006)

On 03/10/2010 at 6:05am - intimacy - by ohno - United States

Today, I found the purity ring I lost a year ago. Too bad I lost my virginity 4 months ago. FML

#8928407
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6989) - you deserved it (32430)

On 03/08/2010 at 8:11pm - intimacy - by BNLM - United States

Today, my boyfriend said we should re-enact a porn episode he saw. I jokingly said yes. He had an outfit and everything. I thought it was going to be fun, until he started playing Bon Jovi in the background. FML

#8910631
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20102) - you deserved it (6075)

On 03/08/2010 at 12:42am - intimacy - by Ah - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went to a party and crashed on the bedroom floor. I woke up to sex noises coming from the bed. I pretended to still be asleep. I sent a text to my boyfriend to tell him about it. I heard his phone beep from over in the bed. FML

#8894345
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37959) - you deserved it (3379)

On 03/07/2010 at 2:56pm - intimacy - by woopdeedo_1 (woman) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, I agreed to let my boyfriend cover every inch of my body in whipped cream and lick it off. We were both enjoying it until his 9 year old sister walked in and started crying. FML

#8890644
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13669) - you deserved it (23366)

On 03/07/2010 at 10:46am - intimacy - by fml (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out how mature the guy I'm seeing is. After sex, he took the condom off and hit me in the face with it. FML

#8889344
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31078) - you deserved it (6492)

On 03/07/2010 at 9:08am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: