Today, for my birthday my boyfriend bought me a sexy outfit to wear for him. At the bottom of the bag was a razor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26551) - you deserved it (13211)
On 02/22/2009 at 8:32pm - intimacy - by Noname - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my girlfriend told me she wanted me to be her first and last...with plenty of people in between. FML
I agree, your life sucks (57090) - you deserved it (4344)
On 02/22/2009 at 10:10am - intimacy - by Charles (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)
Today, while I was making out with my boyfriend, he left my dorm suddenly without telling me where he was going. A few hours later, he texted me to tell me that being with me made him feel dirty and he had gone to confession. He then called me a sinner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (67057) - you deserved it (5797)
On 02/21/2009 at 10:23pm - intimacy - by not getting any anymore (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I went to the doctor with my parents. When the doctor asked if I was sexually active, I said 'Yes.' My mom laughed and said 'Good one.' My dad, for added effect said, 'Your hand doesn't count.' FML
I agree, your life sucks (54163) - you deserved it (5261)
On 02/21/2009 at 10:16pm - intimacy - by Nails (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blowjob, which I don't normally do because I have a fear of getting hit in the eye. Afterwards, I went to suck a lemon to get the taste out of my mouth. Sure enough, I bit the wrong spot and had lemon juice shoot right into my eye. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23423) - you deserved it (67210)
On 02/21/2009 at 9:07pm - intimacy - by svet (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He said I was way too good at sex so I must have lied about not having much experience, and he "wouldn't be with someone who is hiding something." WTF? FML
I agree, your life sucks (73373) - you deserved it (5494)
On 02/21/2009 at 7:13pm - intimacy - by pchemist (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend for the first time, and she asked me if I ever get made fun of in the locker room for my small penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (80483) - you deserved it (5445)
On 02/21/2009 at 5:24pm - intimacy - by Mike (man) - United States (New York)
Today, My mom walked in on me and my 2 year crush about to have sex. When she saw us she said "oh I'll just wait outside, I know it wont be long anyway." FML
I agree, your life sucks (71370) - you deserved it (5845)
On 02/21/2009 at 12:41am - intimacy - by Noname (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I jokingly told my mom that I was having sex with my Professor. Her response was, "As long as you're getting A's, honey!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (23951) - you deserved it (40580)
On 02/21/2009 at 12:36am - intimacy - by acincollege (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, a 32 year old man I had been dating for a few months, finally took me to his place. To my surprise, this bachelor had a huge and very clean home! Also, to my surprise, I met the REAL homeowner. His grandmother, who came home early. We were having sex on her couch at the time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46374) - you deserved it (7891)
On 02/20/2009 at 9:39pm - intimacy - by x (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I called my girlfriend and she answered telling me how amazing the sex was last night and she can't wait to see me later. I didn't see her last night. FML
I agree, your life sucks (81789) - you deserved it (3318)
On 02/20/2009 at 6:42pm - intimacy - by screewit (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I woke up after having had sex with my 4-year crush expecting to find him in bed next to me. Instead, I found my cell phone with a text message from him that said "you should really do something about the pimples on your ass." FML
I agree, your life sucks (59767) - you deserved it (9229)
On 02/20/2009 at 6:25pm - intimacy - by acw2110 (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I woke up happy because I'd met the man of my dreams at a bar. We had shared an amazing night together. I walked around my apartment, wondering where he'd went. Turns out, he was gone. So was my car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44185) - you deserved it (21028)
On 02/20/2009 at 10:38am - intimacy - by clueless2 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Monday 20 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
