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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I finally agreed to the threesome that my husband has been trying to persuade me to have. We arranged it with my hot best friend, thinking I would be more comfortable with her. I ended up lying naked beside them, watching them have fun. FML

#5163523
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14671) - you deserved it (35300)

On 09/10/2009 at 2:25am - intimacy - by wallflower (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, during foreplay, I was trying to be sexy. But instead I fell off the bed, landed in the laundry basket, and was attacked by the dog. FML

#5163461
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18497) - you deserved it (4862)

On 09/10/2009 at 2:18am - intimacy - by Loveless (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boss asked to use my phone since the company pays for it. A few hours later the same boss called me into his office to fire me. Apparently the company checks the phone records and found a call made on my cell to a sex line. My boss made that call and just fired me. FML

#5149100
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50988) - you deserved it (4054)

On 09/09/2009 at 2:29pm - intimacy - by Somessedup (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my girlfriend told me she didn't want to get it on with me because she didn't want to ruin my innocence. FML

#5141193
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19956) - you deserved it (3376)

On 09/09/2009 at 12:13am - intimacy - by Magnus_the_Red (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I was sitting on my boyfriends lap and we were hanging out, talking, and enjoying each other's company. Then he looked into my eyes and right when I thought he was going to kiss me, he said "I can feel your heartbeat on my dick." FML

#5136668
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20833) - you deserved it (4220)

On 09/08/2009 at 9:26pm - intimacy - by awkwardbf (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend decided it would be hot to get it on in the gym storage room at school. Apparently so did my Chemistry and Drama teachers. FML

#5131831
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25012) - you deserved it (6495)

On 09/08/2009 at 6:08pm - intimacy - by TRAMATIZED (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while my girlfriend and I were getting it on, she looked up at me and said, "You look a lot like your brother." FML

#5119297
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21267) - you deserved it (2113)

On 09/08/2009 at 12:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was at a party with my boyfriend. There were some tents set up out the back so we decided to go in one. When we came out we got weird looks. It turns out my friend had turned on some lights behind the tent, showing a huge silhouette of me giving head. FML

#5102610
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9089) - you deserved it (30017)

On 09/07/2009 at 10:25am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, trying to be sexy I was sucking on my boyfriends fingers. I was really starting to turn him on, when I noticed something crunchy in my mouth. Turns out, he went digging for treasure up his nose earlier. I found the treasure in my mouth. FML

#5074855
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46048) - you deserved it (13128)

On 09/06/2009 at 1:44am - intimacy - by Porkchop05 (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I realized that my cat has been laid more times than me. FML

#5054885
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24379) - you deserved it (5374)

On 09/05/2009 at 2:31am - intimacy - by LaurahLunatic (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was getting it on with my boyfriend in my dorm room. My roommate came in, despite the signal I had up on the door. She didn't leave. She got on her computer and started playing Solitaire. FML

#5050419
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21035) - you deserved it (4749)

On 09/04/2009 at 10:43pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I thought it would be sexy to surprise my boyfriend by hiding in the closet naked and pouncing on him as he came to get his pants. I never got to the pouncing. Apparently my boyfriend has heightened reflexes so instead I got slapped hard across the face. My ear is still ringing. FML

#4995103
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14364) - you deserved it (42107)

On 09/02/2009 at 7:19am - intimacy - by keepsmiling - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having a shower together for the first time. He was trying impress me and did some sort of dance move, he slipped, and when he fell he kicked my leg out causing me to fall and hit my face on the faucet. FML

#4994494
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26440) - you deserved it (3607)

On 09/02/2009 at 5:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)



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