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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I just had a phone interview with a college. The lady asked me to spell out my password to a site so she can access my test scores. The password was "dick." FML

#9372806
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12224) - you deserved it (50034)

On 03/25/2010 at 7:07am - intimacy - by uhoh901 (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, while having sex, I tried to kick the blanket over my feet and kneed myself in the face. FML

#9371733
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11074) - you deserved it (25127)

On 03/25/2010 at 4:00am - intimacy - by ouch (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my sister's boyfriend came over to the house. I thought I would be nice and cook them both a dinner along with my own. Mine took a little longer to cook, so they ate before me and went back to her bedroom. I ate alone to the sound of them having fun. FML

#9361174
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30917) - you deserved it (4448)

On 03/24/2010 at 7:50pm - intimacy - by lonelyniceguy (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I caught my dad spanking my mom with a spatula. The same spatula I use to cook my eggs every morning. FML

#9351923
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37347) - you deserved it (4442)

On 03/24/2010 at 11:00am - intimacy - by suckstobeme - United States

Today, after thinking I smelled the aroma of stale alcohol, I asked my husband, who is a recovering alcoholic, if he has been completely honest with me about all that he has been doing. Bracing myself to hear about his fall off the wagon, I instead heard a confession of adultery. FML

#9327043
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34890) - you deserved it (4279)

On 03/23/2010 at 10:51am - intimacy - by BadtoWorse (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was chatting with my girlfriend on MSN. I screen-copied my desktop to show her the conversation I was having with my best friend. Minutes later she replied asking why I had a porn site opened on the other tab. Oops. FML

#9261656
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9700) - you deserved it (51262)

On 03/21/2010 at 12:04am - intimacy - by retard99 (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend said, "People think I don't have talent, but I do. I'm really good with my mouth. Just ask anyone." FML

#9244161
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35278) - you deserved it (6493)

On 03/20/2010 at 12:30pm - intimacy - by drew_ar85 (man) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I had to explain to my dad why it is important for him to clear the browsing history after watching sexual explicit material on the family computer. FML

#9238749
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31213) - you deserved it (3929)

On 03/20/2010 at 4:38am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I realized that my new boyfriend only showers about once every ten days, and to get him to shower more often I have to bribe him with oral sex. FML

#9211500
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28061) - you deserved it (21428)

On 03/19/2010 at 6:05am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Wakefield)

Today, my boyfriend got off for real for the first time during sex. Apparently, he's been faking it for the past two months. I didn't even know guys could do that. FML

#9205385
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18849) - you deserved it (23670)

On 03/19/2010 at 12:11am - intimacy - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I decided it was time to lose my virginity to my boyfriend. After about ten minutes he started going faster and his stomach was slapping against mine. It was making a weird sound so I started laughing. Apparently that wasn't sexy and he went soft. My first time and we didn't even finish. FML

#9181669
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16198) - you deserved it (36620)

On 03/18/2010 at 6:39am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, the love of my life sent me a text saying "touch my pork". Somehow I don't think my feelings are mutual. FML

#9181615
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22913) - you deserved it (4087)

On 03/18/2010 at 6:24am - intimacy - by burgeee - United Kingdom (Bristol)

Today, my wife told me she was very horny as we have not had sex in about two weeks, so I told her to do something for me to get me in the mood. She sighed and then went upstairs to get ready for work. FML

#9180721
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11575) - you deserved it (46989)

On 03/18/2010 at 4:21am - intimacy - by Username - Sent from mobile version



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