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Man or woman?

Today, I found out that my neighbor gets more pleasure out of me and my husband having it off then I do. FML

#8382778
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15803) - you deserved it (2210)

On 02/17/2010 at 7:30pm - intimacy - by noosher0990 -

Today, my grandmother decided to tell me about her past as a prostitute. In full detail. FML

#8365042
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22100) - you deserved it (2253)

On 02/17/2010 at 1:40am - intimacy - by thatssickkk - United States (California)

Today, I was late to dinner with my anal-retentive parents because my boyfriend was too busy making cock puppets in the shower to get ready to go. FML

#8339859
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15254) - you deserved it (2968)

On 02/16/2010 at 2:20pm - intimacy - by tacolove69 - United States (California)

Today, I took my girlfriends virginity and had given it my all. When I had finished, sweating and tired, I looked down at her and smiled, obviously pleased with myself. She looked up at me and said, "Wait, was that it?" FML

#8317685
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24874) - you deserved it (5939)

On 02/15/2010 at 10:10pm - intimacy - by sadsexer23 - United States (Virginia)

Today, I decided to have sex with with my boyfriend. After we had finished I jokingly said, "who's going to sleep in the wet patch?". He got up and said "you're optimistic, I'm not staying. Oh, and I'm dumping you, that performance was disappointing". It was my first time. FML

#8292337
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32171) - you deserved it (4011)

On 02/15/2010 at 8:28am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my grandmother gave me a sex talk on how I should take "precautions", right in the middle of a packed bus station. I'm 21. FML

#8290111
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18538) - you deserved it (1993)

On 02/15/2010 at 5:02am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Lincolnshire)

Today, I made heart shaped cookies for my girlfriend. My mom's reaction? "They look like dicks." FML

#8268045
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18402) - you deserved it (3579)

On 02/14/2010 at 9:16pm - intimacy - by adam - United States (Illinois)

Today, my wife came home drunk, telling me all about this amazing man she met at the club with her friends, and how she wanted to have sex with him but couldn't because she was on her period. What a present. FML

#8266626
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27783) - you deserved it (2266)

On 02/14/2010 at 8:49pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, while losing my virginity to my boyfriend, I had my first orgasm. I don't remember much of what I said during, but after it was all over, he looks at me and says, "You have terrible grammar during climax." FML

#8265301
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19590) - you deserved it (4884)

On 02/14/2010 at 8:23pm - intimacy - by klsdhjla (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend wanted to have Valentine's Day sex. He then remembered it was unlimited pancakes at IHOP. FML

#8246402
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20199) - you deserved it (3422)

On 02/14/2010 at 11:31am - intimacy - by DallasGal (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend and I broke up. The reason? She slept with four men while I was two weeks away visiting my brother. She told me it was because she missed me so much. FML

#8243991
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25010) - you deserved it (2133)

On 02/14/2010 at 10:19am - intimacy - by CheatedOn (man) - Romania (Cluj)

Today, my husband and I were role playing to keep our marriage alive. His character was a deranged stalker while I was the helpless girl. My neighbor thought I was really being chased so she called the cops. Once they came we explained the whole story and got a fine for disturbing the peace. FML

#8193148
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19077) - you deserved it (6785)

On 02/13/2010 at 1:51am - intimacy - by whathef???? - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my long-distance boyfriend told me that he was going to pee on me to "mark his territory." When I told him that it was disgusting, he said, "last time, I just peed on you in the shower." FML

#8180539
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21299) - you deserved it (3229)

On 02/12/2010 at 8:34pm - intimacy - by rashree (woman) - United States (Kansas)



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