Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I met a man at the bar, and he asked me to go home with him. The problem? He's 80. I'm 29. The bigger problem? I considered it. It's been that long. FML

#12231290
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29053) - you deserved it (17332)

On 07/31/2010 at 7:24pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I walked in on my cat trying to mate with my favorite sweater. FML

#12226280
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29452) - you deserved it (6798)

On 07/31/2010 at 1:04pm - intimacy - by anon - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, I got a XXX wax, because my boyfriend wouldn't go down on me as he didn't like the hair. Now he won't sleep with me at all because I look like a child with no pubic hair, and he "feels like a pedophile." FML

#12201100
267 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42363) - you deserved it (9860)

On 07/30/2010 at 2:45am - intimacy - by hairless (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was looking through my boyfriends phone, when I found a naked picture of myself. Too bad I haven't sent him any. Ever. FML

#12187876
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38876) - you deserved it (14453)

On 07/29/2010 at 2:28pm - intimacy - by Sunshine.0.ninja - United States (Ohio)

Today, I celebrated my birthday. My mom invited a bunch of my relatives over, and they started telling funny stories of when I was a kid. My mom decided that then was an appropriate time to talk about how she caught me looking at porn the other night. FML

#12176888
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32433) - you deserved it (12041)

On 07/29/2010 at 12:14am - intimacy - by GGimabeast (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was rubbing my lips against my boyfriend's lips when I said "Your mustache tickles" in a sexy tone. His response was "So does yours." FML

#12161985
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25146) - you deserved it (31326)

On 07/28/2010 at 7:20am - intimacy - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was fooling around on the trampoline with this guy, when a bounce caused us to bang our heads together, knocking me out cold. FML

#12144895
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26844) - you deserved it (13093)

On 07/27/2010 at 1:08pm - intimacy - by aero00 (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I went to bed with three hot, half-naked girls beneath me. I was in the bunk above. Alone. FML

#12143188
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38587) - you deserved it (16145)

On 07/27/2010 at 10:43am - intimacy - by lonelyguy321 - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, I was in the shower and I heard my boyfriend walk in. I struck my sexiest pose and when he came in, he looked me up and down and told me, "You look like my mother." Thanks. FML

#12130176
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34699) - you deserved it (5410)

On 07/26/2010 at 7:48pm - intimacy - by dumped (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, he told me I was the love of his life. Afterwards, he clarified his statement. I was the love of his life, because I was in his life at that moment. FML

#12126725
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30584) - you deserved it (4504)

On 07/26/2010 at 4:15pm - intimacy - by robm (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I told my girlfriend of 2 years that I was sexually abused as a kid. She was only the third person I've told. She reacted by breaking up with me because I "might do something" to her kids. FML

#12114881
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68254) - you deserved it (4371)

On 07/26/2010 at 12:34am - intimacy - by draegoncode - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was wearing my yoga pants for my boyfriend. He's infatuated with them. He claims they make my ass look nice. I found out it's because I constantly get a camel toe, and it gives him a semi every time he sees it. I found this out by listening to him and his father at dinner. FML

#12110057
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33080) - you deserved it (10007)

On 07/25/2010 at 8:42pm - intimacy - by cameltoeyourface (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, when my girlfriend woke me up, she said, "I just had the sexiest dream." Thinking she was feeling frisky, I started to try to fool around with her. She pulled away and said, "Well it wasn't about YOU." FML

#12100553
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38490) - you deserved it (5574)

On 07/25/2010 at 7:09am - intimacy - by girlgirlinsanity (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)



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