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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my boyfriend started talking to my breasts in public. As if that wasn't bad enough, he then started to jiggle them in his hands. FML

#12449213
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30526) - you deserved it (14580)

On 08/11/2010 at 5:16am - intimacy - by KBL3 (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was having it off with my boyfriend. He is the kind of guy that likes to keep things interesting. Just as he started climaxing, he began to meow. FML

#12438405
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34339) - you deserved it (8579)

On 08/10/2010 at 7:58pm - intimacy - by verno02 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend texted me, and asked if he could come over to 'have some fun'. Thinking we were going to do it, I freshened up. Turns out his idea of 'having some fun' is playing Doodle Jump and Angry Birds on my iPod. For three hours. FML

#12426851
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32578) - you deserved it (9110)

On 08/10/2010 at 3:22am - intimacy - by kylie - United States (New York)

Today, my brother's girlfriend and my girlfriend went out shopping. My brother's girlfriend bought a pair of killer black heels and a box of condoms. My girlfriend bought a pair of orange Crocs and a vibrator. FML

#12408550
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45037) - you deserved it (14310)

On 08/09/2010 at 9:24am - intimacy - by Mikey832 (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, I was at the grocery store and this hot guy was staring at my ass, so I smiled at him. My mother noticed he was checking my ass out, and she approached him and said "I know she has a big ass, but it's rude to stare, son." FML

#12405087
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43676) - you deserved it (5436)

On 08/09/2010 at 3:07am - intimacy - by hard - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I couldn't fall asleep till 3am and was woken approximately every hour or so. Why? I found out my new upstairs neighbors have a very active love life. She's a screamer. FML

#12404191
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36247) - you deserved it (3159)

On 08/09/2010 at 2:18am - intimacy - by SleeplessInSoCal (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my husband discovered that whispering anything in my ear will turn me on. He turned to me and whispered 'cheeseburger' in my ear. Unfortunately, I moaned. Now he now laughs about it with our roommate. FML

#12377816
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30062) - you deserved it (18538)

On 08/07/2010 at 9:05pm - intimacy - by Indigo_Kitten (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my four year old told my mother-in-law that our house is haunted because she hears a ghost at night saying "oh" and daddy's name as if they're hurt. FML

#12361153
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31892) - you deserved it (17890)

On 08/06/2010 at 10:35pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, my mom came into my bedroom and told me to listen to this voicemail. I listened to me and my girlfriend talking dirty followed by the bed springs bouncing for 3 minutes. I had my phone in the pocket while I was having sex with her and it left my mom a nice voicemail. FML

#12337328
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25748) - you deserved it (40721)

On 08/05/2010 at 7:24pm - intimacy - by JDLAX1924 - United States

Today, I discovered that my mom is having an affair... with her cousin. FML

#12322753
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58472) - you deserved it (4209)

On 08/05/2010 at 1:18am - intimacy - by Drew - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to explain to my doctor and parents that I dislocated my shoulder while masturbating. FML

#12316575
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32336) - you deserved it (36620)

On 08/04/2010 at 8:24pm - intimacy - by kinky - United States (Virginia)

Today, when I returned from holiday, I discovered my best friend taught my parrot dirty phrases for fun. I can't get her to shut up and my little niece and nephew are coming over in three days. FML

#12312457
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30978) - you deserved it (4521)

On 08/04/2010 at 4:17pm - intimacy - by stuckonrepeat (man) - Ireland (Cork)

Today, I was babysitting for my mum's friend. I put her little boy on my knee, and he kept pulling at my top. I asked him "are you hungry?" He replied "No, I want to see your titties." FML

#12305756
292 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42566) - you deserved it (10958)

On 08/04/2010 at 6:25am - intimacy - by Embarressed... (woman) - United Kingdom (Derbyshire)



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