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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, the guy I hooked up with last weekend texted me that I needed to "landscape my front lawn." FML

#9155913
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11519) - you deserved it (26810)

On 03/17/2010 at 8:48am - intimacy - by Bushfan101 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I put on some goggles on in the pool, only to go underwater and see an old man "discreetly" jerking it. FML

#9152447
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34950) - you deserved it (4041)

On 03/17/2010 at 2:12am - intimacy - by today -

Today, my boyfriend of a year dumped me. In my opinion, the relationship was going so well and I really thought we loved each other. When I asked why, he told me he never loved me. He just wanted to get in my pants which after a year of refusing, he finally did. FML

#9138993
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28947) - you deserved it (5566)

On 03/16/2010 at 7:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, after confronting my husband about lack of intimacy in our marriage, I found him playing with himself. His response to my shock was ‘This is less work and less involving.’ FML

#9100047
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21200) - you deserved it (4434)

On 03/15/2010 at 10:05am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, the boy I like finally acknowledged me. He came up to me and uttered two words: "Nice pooper." FML

#9097770
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19076) - you deserved it (3303)

On 03/15/2010 at 5:14am - intimacy - by shygurl434 - United States (Alaska)

Today, I learned that a few pubes on your bed can stop you from getting laid. FML

#9095139
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7150) - you deserved it (28859)

On 03/15/2010 at 2:00am - intimacy - by PubelishedAuthor (man) - United States (California)

Today, I started hooking up with a guy I've liked for a while. We got pretty into it and he went into my underwear, looking confused. When I asked him what was wrong, his response was: "I can't find it." FML

#9094642
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28768) - you deserved it (4771)

On 03/15/2010 at 1:41am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, while making out with my boyfriend, he started playing with my nipples. Suddenly he stops kissing me, looks at my nipples and says, "Have they always been like this? They look like joysticks!". He then started singing the Super Mario Brother's theme song and playing the game with my nipples. FML

#9086835
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26895) - you deserved it (5165)

On 03/14/2010 at 10:09pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend told me the reason he can't keep an erection while we have sex is that I'm not attractive enough. FML

#9069427
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28872) - you deserved it (4303)

On 03/14/2010 at 9:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I realized that I'm so bored of my relationship with my girlfriend, I'd rather make sure I don't break the springs in my bed than make love to her. FML

#9068161
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8392) - you deserved it (22191)

On 03/14/2010 at 5:57am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne)

Today, I was in bed with my boyfriend, in the middle of foreplay, and somehow out of my mouth came, "I want to be inside you." I'm a woman. FML

#9066532
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23938) - you deserved it (9629)

On 03/14/2010 at 3:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my dad asked me if I could convince my mother to get a Brazillian wax. If that's not bad enough, my mother heard and yelled from the other room, "I like my furball." FML

#9041294
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34951) - you deserved it (2514)

On 03/13/2010 at 5:35am - intimacy - by Grossed Out - Australia (Victoria)

Today, after going to the doctor to have him look at a rash on my man bits, I asked him how to get rid of the redness. He shrugged and said: "Don't worry, nobody will see it other than you and me." He's right. FML

#9029398
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21970) - you deserved it (2546)

On 03/12/2010 at 7:19pm - intimacy - by argh (man) - United States (Massachusetts)



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