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Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. When I didn't get off right away, he asked what he was doing wrong. I told him he was doing fine, but instead of focusing only on my vagina, he might want to pay attention to my clitoris as well. His response? "What's a clitoris?" FML

#20809292
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58365) - you deserved it (8715)

On 07/29/2013 at 3:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend and I were going at it doggy style, really fast, when she started laughing hysterically. I asked her what was so amusing and she giggled, "I can't feel anything in there." FML

#20808604
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53018) - you deserved it (7002)

On 07/28/2013 at 8:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend wanted to try something new in the bedroom, so she got an assortment of different sized cock rings. She laughed when the one we were trying to use kept falling off, and said to try a smaller one. It was the smallest in the set. FML

#20807595
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56366) - you deserved it (8105)

On 07/28/2013 at 3:45am - intimacy - by microlovin (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend and I attempted some bondage for the first time. Within seconds of the handcuffs being put on, I went into a serious panic attack. I was playing the dominant; my girlfriend was the one in cuffs. FML

#20806809
118 comments

Today, I received some unwanted anal sex tips. They were unwanted because I'm not into anal sex, and the tips came from my drunk mom. FML

#20806687
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46656) - you deserved it (2988)

On 07/27/2013 at 5:41pm - intimacy - by moms know best??? (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Instead of moaning like any normal person, he just kept saying stuff like "uh-huh," "not too bad," and "yup" in a complete monotone. It was probably the most uncomfortable experience of my life. FML

#20804720
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61765) - you deserved it (6193)

On 07/26/2013 at 2:00pm - intimacy - by awkward (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend's dream came true; he had always wanted to break a bed during sex. The bed he broke was a heirloom in my family for 150 years. The best part: he was by himself. FML

#20804404
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54961) - you deserved it (4673)

On 07/26/2013 at 9:09am - intimacy - by amiezingme - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I found out that even though my boyfriend thinks that peeing on me in the shower is acceptable, he will still freak out and call me disgusting if I try to use the toilet while he's taking a shower. FML

#20801125
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49273) - you deserved it (5576)

On 07/24/2013 at 12:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Alaska)

Today, the doctor told my husband that he is infertile due to slow sperm. As if this is not upsetting enough, my husband blames it on me. According to him, his sperm doesn't get 'aroused' because I'm not sexy enough. FML

#20800901
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58745) - you deserved it (5039)

On 07/24/2013 at 7:50am - intimacy - by Iamdisappointed (woman) - Sweden (Dalarnas Lan)

Today, my husband removed the TV from our bedroom to improve our sex life. Still no sex because he watches TV on his iPhone. FML

#20799897
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46536) - you deserved it (3982)

On 07/23/2013 at 6:42pm - intimacy - by oddgrrl99 (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was at the store, when I saw my boyfriend in line in front of me. I looked to see what he was purchasing; it was a pack of condoms. When I questioned him, he said that, "They're for us, babe!" We already have an unopened pack at home, and it's my time of the month. FML

#20799401
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51923) - you deserved it (4224)

On 07/23/2013 at 1:18pm - intimacy - by MenstruallyFrustrated - United States (Arizona)

Today, my doctor told me that I suffer from orgasm migraines. Basically, I get an intense migraine that lasts for hours after I have an orgasm. FML

#20798770
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64083) - you deserved it (3711)

On 07/23/2013 at 1:17am - intimacy - by amanda (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my husband was chased out of a bar after he was seen slipping something into a woman's drink. I was the woman, the 'something' was aspirin, and that's the last time we ever try to role-play. FML

#20798724
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43081) - you deserved it (24270)

On 07/23/2013 at 12:48am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)



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