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Man or woman?

Today, my girlfriend and I broke up. The reason? She slept with four men while I was two weeks away visiting my brother. She told me it was because she missed me so much. FML

#8243991
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24993) - you deserved it (2132)

On 02/14/2010 at 10:19am - intimacy - by CheatedOn (man) - Romania (Cluj)

Today, my husband and I were role playing to keep our marriage alive. His character was a deranged stalker while I was the helpless girl. My neighbor thought I was really being chased so she called the cops. Once they came we explained the whole story and got a fine for disturbing the peace. FML

#8193148
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19031) - you deserved it (6778)

On 02/13/2010 at 1:51am - intimacy - by whathef???? - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my long-distance boyfriend told me that he was going to pee on me to "mark his territory." When I told him that it was disgusting, he said, "last time, I just peed on you in the shower." FML

#8180539
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21261) - you deserved it (3229)

On 02/12/2010 at 8:34pm - intimacy - by rashree (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, when setting up for a rehearsal, my eldest teacher was standing next to me. My music teacher announces that it will be a tight fit and hard for everyone to fit in the area. The old teacher next to me leans over and whispers, "I'd like to fit in your tight area." FML

#8153537
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27993) - you deserved it (2353)

On 02/12/2010 at 12:13am - intimacy - by pinky (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I woke up to the sound of someone having sex in the room next to me. I don't have a roommate. Turns out my mom thought I was out of town and used her extra key to bring a guy over for sex. FML

#8131977
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22122) - you deserved it (2035)

On 02/11/2010 at 2:40pm - intimacy - by yourstruly - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was taking a dump in a public restroom. Minding my own business, I heard somebody go into an adjacent stall. It was dead silent and I don't think he knew I was in there. I thought I heard him scratching his arm or something. I was wrong. He was jacking off. I had to listen to it all. FML

#8122396
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18330) - you deserved it (2578)

On 02/11/2010 at 4:09am - intimacy - by stewiesclone - United States

Today, my boyfriend decided to name his penis "Jesus". For the last two hours he's been continuously asking if I "want to be touched by Jesus" or will I "let Jesus in to spread his warmth." FML

#8119072
299 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20639) - you deserved it (4730)

On 02/11/2010 at 1:18am - intimacy - by syl - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I hooked up with a guy who has a Facebook page for his cat. FML

#8117396
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10245) - you deserved it (36026)

On 02/11/2010 at 12:33am - intimacy - by CatWoman (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. Its was pretty good and heavy and she was moaning nicely. Then her moans got softer and softer and then nothing. She fell asleep. FML

#8085634
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18718) - you deserved it (5940)

On 02/10/2010 at 10:08am - intimacy - by ryan - United States

Today, my dad got a hard-on looking at my best friend. He asked me how my NutriSystem diet was going. He was looking at my friend's boobs when he asked me. FML

#8082949
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19547) - you deserved it (2009)

On 02/10/2010 at 7:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my girlfriend of 11 months told me that she's been faking her orgasms the whole time. Just to make me "proud" of myself. FML

#8074818
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17732) - you deserved it (5215)

On 02/10/2010 at 12:09am - intimacy - by evecamp - United States (California)

Today, I was about to have sex with my boyfriend when he reminded me that I needed to cut my toe nails. FML

#8062082
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8316) - you deserved it (15378)

On 02/09/2010 at 7:56pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I lost my virginity. It took all of 30 seconds. FML

#8031607
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23065) - you deserved it (4775)

On 02/08/2010 at 10:33pm - intimacy - by unsatisfied - Sent from mobile version



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