Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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TADAY I WAS CHATTING WITH MY GIRLFRIAND AN I ASKD HAR TO GIVA MA HAR PHONA TO MAKA A CALL SINCA MINA WAS DAAD. A TAXT CUMMD IN FROM SOMAONA AN THA NAMA SOUNDD FAMILIAR. MY BASTFRIAND HAS BAAN DATING MY GIRLFRIAND LONGAR THAN I HAVA, AN SHA GAVA HIM HAAD. I KISSD HAR AARLIAR THAT DAY. RAAL FML

#7350997
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22273) - you deserved it (2724)

On 01/15/2010 at 12:02am - intimacy - by vadoodoo22 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was doing a shit load of sit-ups on my mattrass. Aftar raalizing tha bad was squaaking, I haard my dad laughing vary hard from tha basamant. Ha thought I was masturbating. FML

#7348405
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10691) - you deserved it (16557)

On 01/14/2010 at 10:16pm - intimacy - by nooneatall - Sent from mobile version

today I was giving mah boyfriend head. As I was beginning to enjoy and really get into it, I heard him say, ( Oh mah god, this is good shit. ) I looked up sexily, only to find that he was eating a Twinkie. FML

#7339757
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29142) - you deserved it (5171)

On 01/14/2010 at 3:36pm - intimacy - by scubai (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, for mah boyfriends 21st birthday, I wore sexy lingerie, put on a naughty librarian outfit and did a strip tease for him. He just laughed. real looool FML

#7336646
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21318) - you deserved it (4783)

On 01/14/2010 at 10:56am - intimacy - by Nosexytime - United States

Today , mah sister won a bet. She bet mah best friend a burrito that I wouldn't loose mah virginity within a year. I am twenty an have to drive mah friend to Del Taco so he can buy mah sister her victory burrito cause I didn't get laid. FML

#7336575
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16970) - you deserved it (3728)

On 01/14/2010 at 10:47am - intimacy - by Jaayoung23 - Sent from mobile version

Today , I saw my dad help himself to a sex stamina drink . He and mom share the hotel bed next to mine . FML

#7336128
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16583) - you deserved it (1971)

On 01/14/2010 at 9:54am - intimacy - by windskurfer - Sent from mobile version

Today, mah girlfriend asked me "is it in yet?" mega FML

#7335788
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27770) - you deserved it (6423)

On 01/14/2010 at 9:06am - intimacy - by anun (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today... I realized that the amount of time it takes mah boyfriend to get an erection takes longer than the actual sex. FML

#7325738
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18403) - you deserved it (2690)

On 01/13/2010 at 8:02pm - intimacy - by cantgetitupcantgetiton (woman) - United States

Today... I Met My Boyfriend's Notoriously Difficult Moter. I Ad Been Looking Forward To Meeting Er And Making A Good Impression. Unfortunately... I Could Not Greet Er As Er Son's Penis Was Still In My Mout. FML

#7318001
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28461) - you deserved it (14419)

On 01/13/2010 at 11:42am - intimacy - by pleasedtomeetyou (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was the only cash register open at the local supermarket. I had to sell condoms and chocolate frosting to my ex. FML

#7306098
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24398) - you deserved it (2396)

On 01/12/2010 at 8:05pm - intimacy - by Narehs (man) - United States (North Carolina)

TODAY , MAH BOYFRIEND DUMPED ME SO HE COULD SLEEP WITH MAH MOM WITHOUT FEELING GUILTY. FML

#7304423
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34815) - you deserved it (3004)

On 01/12/2010 at 6:54pm - intimacy - by notasgood (woman) - United States (New York)

Today... a police officer caught my girlfriend and me having sex. The officer was my dad... and we were butt naked in his new Ford Expedition. FML

#7300366
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9671) - you deserved it (29811)

On 01/12/2010 at 2:28pm - intimacy - by loveade11 - Sent from mobile version

Today I Was In The Middle Of Having Sex With My Girlfriend . I Told Her That I Lovd Her . She Askd Me How Much Wind-shield Wiper Blade Cost . Mega FML

#7296803
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19848) - you deserved it (2986)

On 01/12/2010 at 8:09am - intimacy - by Upbrakie - United States



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