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Today, during an episode of King of Queens that my boyfriend has seen more than once, I decided I'd try to get a little frisky. I straddled him while he was on the bed and began taking my clothes of. He pushed me out of the way and said, 'don't get naked in front of the TV.' FML

#7467691
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21268) - you deserved it (3747)

On 01/21/2010 at 12:28am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend and I were trying to have sex for the first time. Not only did he struggle for five minutes to put on a condom (repeatedly snapping himself in the balls), but he then had to ask me "which hole" to put it in. I'm dating a thirty-four year old virgin. FML

#7467261
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28297) - you deserved it (5731)

On 01/21/2010 at 12:02am - intimacy - by Alicia (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have a little "fun" in our secluded backyard. It was only after we had finished that we noticed the three little girls, who live next door, jumping up and down on their trampoline, with their mouths wide open. FML

Today, the guy that I've recently became close to texted me, wanting to hook up. He's very cute and I was definitely interested, so I agreed. The drive to his house lasted longer than the actual sex. He lives less than five minutes away. FML

#7451202
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18227) - you deserved it (4147)

On 01/20/2010 at 1:43am - intimacy - by wasntworththedrive (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was hooking up with a guy I just met. Things were getting hot and heavy and he asked me if I had a condom. I said no, and to which he replied "that's okay, we can just use a sock" and pulled his sock off of his left foot. FML

#7450891
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27500) - you deserved it (5784)

On 01/20/2010 at 1:17am - intimacy - by ilovesocks (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I heard the sounds of women grunting in the living room. My husband knows I don't like him to watch porn, so I confronted him. He was masturbating to professional Women's tennis. FML

#7447854
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11406) - you deserved it (21603)

On 01/19/2010 at 10:46pm - intimacy - by sportyhusband (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I got out of bed and went downstairs in my boxers to get a glass of water. I entered the kitchen and said hi to my visiting mother-in-law, who smiled. Only after a good ten minutes did she decide to tell me that my "wanker-stick" was hanging from a gap in my boxers. FML

#7441309
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18515) - you deserved it (5546)

On 01/19/2010 at 6:18pm - intimacy - by kappaomicron (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I found out my boyfriend of two years role-plays on the internet, pretending to have sex with men. His response when I confronted him about it? "Which specific incidents are you referring to?" FML

#7412437
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17713) - you deserved it (2363)

On 01/18/2010 at 1:03am - intimacy - by heterolifepartner (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my long term ex, who broke up with me over a year ago and shattered my heart, seduced me (which wasn't hard as he knew I still had feelings for him) and as he pulled out after the couple of minutes of what he called sex, he used the line "There we go, that's your freebie." FML

#7406079
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9296) - you deserved it (17935)

On 01/17/2010 at 8:26pm - intimacy - by misshb (woman) - United Kingdom (Suffolk)

Today, my boyfriend humped me to the tune of the Imperial March from Star Wars. FML

#7398429
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19613) - you deserved it (5933)

On 01/17/2010 at 1:13pm - intimacy - by ChubbyTubby (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I went on a date with a guy I met on-line. While cuddling on the couch, he asked me for a blow job. I refused. He said, "But I thought big girls liked doing that." FML

#7390667
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21532) - you deserved it (5462)

On 01/17/2010 at 12:30am - intimacy - by writer4life (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I lost my virginity to my amazing boyfriend. As we were getting dressed, I realized I had lost my bra. After intense searching I finally found it and put it on. It wasn't mine. FML

#7376800
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28222) - you deserved it (3816)

On 01/16/2010 at 11:44am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my father decided to tell me in detail when and how he lost his virginity. He even told me what position it was and who this girl was. I will never look at him in the same way again. He also made his hands "have sex". FML

#7364490
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20305) - you deserved it (2234)

On 01/15/2010 at 7:57pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)



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