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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, after having a fight with my boyfriend, we had what I thought to be the best make-up sex, because he seemed so happy and upbeat. Turns out he misunderstood. He was happy because he thought it was break-up sex. FML

#12914621
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33834) - you deserved it (6132)

On 09/05/2010 at 6:56am - intimacy - by misunderstood - Australia (Victoria)

Today, after doing it with my girlfriend, she told me that she was "faking the whole time, and thinking of talking cupcakes." FML

#12910894
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29994) - you deserved it (7958)

On 09/05/2010 at 12:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I walked in the door and heard my husband calling me to the bedroom. I got a little excited, took my clothes off, and walked into the bedroom. I forgot our mortgagor was inspecting our house today. FML

#12898898
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17290) - you deserved it (32573)

On 09/04/2010 at 7:02am - intimacy - by Lewis - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I found out what "supersoaked" means. I thought it meant getting shot by a water gun, which is why I laughed when my daughter's boyfriend said he "supersoaked" her. FML

#12894594
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34526) - you deserved it (6660)

On 09/04/2010 at 12:15am - intimacy - by FMyLife5915 -

Today, I was feeling in the mood, so I walked into the kitchen with only my boxers on and asked my girlfriend if she wanted to get in bed. She said, "Okay, but make sure to finish before Gossip Girl starts." FML

#12887045
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28874) - you deserved it (7966)

On 09/03/2010 at 3:42pm - intimacy - by Sexylarry - Sent from mobile version

Today, my mom told me I was conceived on Halloween. She thought it would be funny to say "Let's just say your dad was not wearing his ghost costume." She then winked. I am now scarred for life. FML

#12874867
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29344) - you deserved it (4252)

On 09/02/2010 at 8:29pm - intimacy - by anonymous.. (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I learned that my apartment's walls are thin enough for my neighbors to hear my vibrator. I've lived in this apartment for three years. I've been single and horny for all of them. FML

#12872328
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30665) - you deserved it (13929)

On 09/02/2010 at 5:09pm - intimacy - by Buzzie (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I found out that whenever my best friend used to say she wanted to do my dad, she wasn't kidding. She accomplished her mission in my bed after school. FML

#12851592
337 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56788) - you deserved it (4453)

On 09/01/2010 at 7:10am - intimacy - by fmlskank93 - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I walked in on my mom's boyfriend jacking off. The worst part was that he didn't stop. FML

#12849732
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40868) - you deserved it (4172)

On 09/01/2010 at 2:16am - intimacy - by Jill Shanks - United States

Today, after my husband's phone buzzed like crazy all morning, I decided to pick it up and see what all the fuss was about. He had three new picture messages from his "boss", naked and strapped to a chair with the caption, "Are you still coming over tonight?" We've been married for nine years and have two children. FML

#12838933
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62799) - you deserved it (4406)

On 08/31/2010 at 2:07pm - intimacy - by ashlee (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I took pictures of myself and my girlfriend doing naughty things together on my camera. My mom later asked me if she could borrow the camera for the weekend. Without thinking, I gave her the camera. FML

#12836221
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12596) - you deserved it (52170)

On 08/31/2010 at 9:13am - intimacy - by weezel (man) - South Africa (Western Cape)

Today, I talked to my boyfriend's dad for the first time. One of the first things that he said to me was, "So, I hear you're a screamer." FML

#12832697
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40374) - you deserved it (7017)

On 08/31/2010 at 1:21am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my boyfriend questioned why I always put my shirts in the dryer right before wearing them. I told him it was because the dryer causes my shirts to regain their form and tightness. His response: "You should throw your vagina in there along with them." FML

#12822018
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43619) - you deserved it (15801)

On 08/30/2010 at 1:51pm - intimacy - by FYouBoyfriend (woman) - United States (Ohio)



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