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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was giving my boyfriend head. I got a little too enthusiastic during it, and wound up cracking my neck loudly, and had to stop while the pain settled down. FML

#12946096
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18115) - you deserved it (22898)

On 09/07/2010 at 6:18am - intimacy - by neckcrack (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was woken up by my sister and her husband pretending to make moaning sounds in the room next to mine. I began to make moaning sounds as well to fight back. It turns out the "moaning" was actually their dogs snoring down stairs. Breakfast was awkward. FML

#12933577
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11320) - you deserved it (37096)

On 09/06/2010 at 1:02pm - intimacy - by jackson (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was lying on my bed with my boyfriend. I didn't really want to have sex so I told him I would if he really wanted too, but I wouldn't enjoy it. He then started to undo my pants. FML

#12931199
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14191) - you deserved it (53327)

On 09/06/2010 at 8:50am - intimacy - by sad-sexed (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, after going on a blind date with a man I had met on facebook, we decided to go back to his apartment. All was going good until he took off his pants, only to reveal that he was wearing a diaper. FML

#12929120
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41808) - you deserved it (19404)

On 09/06/2010 at 3:37am - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I discovered that my husband is a tad paranoid after finding out that our cat has worms. He and I were in the middle of sharing a romantic shower following something of a dry spell when he bent over, spread his cheeks apart and asked, in earnest, "is there a worm sticking out of my ass?" FML

#12926382
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36742) - you deserved it (3525)

On 09/06/2010 at 12:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I woke up from a dream in which I had a penis. Apparently I talk in my sleep, because my boyfriend kept staring at my crotch. FML

#12915850
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32877) - you deserved it (4827)

On 09/05/2010 at 10:20am - intimacy - by urgg (woman) - United States

Today, after having a fight with my boyfriend, we had what I thought to be the best make-up sex, because he seemed so happy and upbeat. Turns out he misunderstood. He was happy because he thought it was break-up sex. FML

#12914621
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33740) - you deserved it (6120)

On 09/05/2010 at 6:56am - intimacy - by misunderstood - Australia (Victoria)

Today, after doing it with my girlfriend, she told me that she was "faking the whole time, and thinking of talking cupcakes." FML

#12910894
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29989) - you deserved it (7958)

On 09/05/2010 at 12:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I walked in the door and heard my husband calling me to the bedroom. I got a little excited, took my clothes off, and walked into the bedroom. I forgot our mortgagor was inspecting our house today. FML

#12898898
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17290) - you deserved it (32571)

On 09/04/2010 at 7:02am - intimacy - by Lewis - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I found out what "supersoaked" means. I thought it meant getting shot by a water gun, which is why I laughed when my daughter's boyfriend said he "supersoaked" her. FML

#12894594
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34525) - you deserved it (6660)

On 09/04/2010 at 12:15am - intimacy - by FMyLife5915 -

Today, I was feeling in the mood, so I walked into the kitchen with only my boxers on and asked my girlfriend if she wanted to get in bed. She said, "Okay, but make sure to finish before Gossip Girl starts." FML

#12887045
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28874) - you deserved it (7966)

On 09/03/2010 at 3:42pm - intimacy - by Sexylarry - Sent from mobile version

Today, my mom told me I was conceived on Halloween. She thought it would be funny to say "Let's just say your dad was not wearing his ghost costume." She then winked. I am now scarred for life. FML

#12874867
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29344) - you deserved it (4252)

On 09/02/2010 at 8:29pm - intimacy - by anonymous.. (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I learned that my apartment's walls are thin enough for my neighbors to hear my vibrator. I've lived in this apartment for three years. I've been single and horny for all of them. FML

#12872328
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30662) - you deserved it (13929)

On 09/02/2010 at 5:09pm - intimacy - by Buzzie (woman) - United States (Minnesota)



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