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Man or woman?

Today, I was feeling a little racy and decided to send my boyfriend some naked pictures of myself. He responded, "That's OK, but does your face have to be in them?" FML

#6415998
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20087) - you deserved it (4243)

On 11/23/2009 at 12:07am - intimacy - by denise (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my boyfriend tried to be sexy and take off my clothes with his teeth. He ended up biting my leg. FML

#6413436
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14919) - you deserved it (5738)

On 11/22/2009 at 10:06pm - intimacy - by NotsexyEnough - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house. We were starting to get intimate, and I thought it would be kinky to tie his hands to his bed so he'd be more turned on. Suddenly his mom called us for dinner, but I couldn't untie him fast enough. I had to sit there, embarrassed, while his mom undid the rope. FML

#6411627
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7729) - you deserved it (23653)

On 11/22/2009 at 8:35pm - intimacy - by Sam (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my manager sent me a text message with a picture of Santa masturbating, with a message that said he wished me a white Christmas. FML

#6401581
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20633) - you deserved it (3724)

On 11/22/2009 at 4:15am - intimacy - by lonewolf2701 - United States

Today, when putting something away on a high shelf, something small and black fell down my cleavage. I thought nothing of it and finished the task at hand. When I pulled out the neck of my shirt later to find it and looked down, glaring up at me from my boobs was a large, disgruntled spider. FML

#6401291
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22161) - you deserved it (4036)

On 11/22/2009 at 3:35am - intimacy - by Arachnaphobic (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I woke up in my roommate's bed. Apparently, the previous night I sleep-walked into her room, layed on her bed, and fell asleep. In the middle of her and her boyfriend having sex. He's now going around saying he slept with both of us. FML

#6394262
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19363) - you deserved it (3910)

On 11/21/2009 at 8:33pm - intimacy - by sleepwalker - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I found out that my mom had read my diary because she was worried. She now knows details about my depression, details about my sex life, such as how I lost my virginity, to whom (I don't have a boyfriend), and what condition I was in at the time (drunk as a duck). She also showed my dad. FML

#6389585
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33929) - you deserved it (19483)

On 11/21/2009 at 7:56am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, I learned that you should always make sure the car is in 'park' before you get it on wildly in it. FML

#6383461
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5292) - you deserved it (24237)

On 11/20/2009 at 7:56pm - intimacy - by Ellen - United States

Today, since we hadn't been romantic for a long time, I shaved, took a bath, cut my hair and snuggled up to my husband in bed. He got up, went to the computer, masturbated to porn, came back to bed and asked me what was for breakfast. FML

#6379949
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26738) - you deserved it (3404)

On 11/20/2009 at 1:41pm - intimacy - by Inkabadger (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting it on when I realized I had to sneeze. Not wanting to sneeze on her, I tried my hardest to hold it in. When I climaxed, I couldn't hold it in any more and sneezed all over her face. FML

#6378633
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8395) - you deserved it (17112)

On 11/20/2009 at 9:53am - intimacy - by WorstMedicalBill (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, a cat came up to me on the pavement so I petted it a little. An elderly man rode past on his bicycle and shouted "I'd like to stroke your pussy too!" FML

#6367890
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25231) - you deserved it (3417)

On 11/19/2009 at 12:20pm - intimacy - by pussystroker (woman) - United Kingdom (Peterborough)

Today, I applied some things I learned reading a "How to please a woman" book. My wife was in heaven until it was over, then she started crying and yelling about the only way I would learn those things is if I was having an affair. I explained but she doesn't believe me. FML

#6363732
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24523) - you deserved it (2129)

On 11/19/2009 at 12:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend and I were sitting downstairs with my mom. We heard the dog running around upstairs and called it down. It came running down the stairs. With a used condom in its mouth. The same condom my girlfriend and I lost two weeks ago. It put it directly in my mom's hands. FML

#6356025
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17823) - you deserved it (7470)

On 11/18/2009 at 4:35pm - intimacy - by Tucker (man) - United States (Arizona)



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