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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. We decided to have sex in her basement. All awesome, until her mom walked down and wanted to watch a movie with us. I had to watch it naked under a blanket. FML

#7144399
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17587) - you deserved it (6605)

On 01/04/2010 at 10:49am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I woke up with bruised nipples because apparently my boyfriend likes to excessively play with them while I sleep. FML

#7142367
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19668) - you deserved it (3335)

On 01/04/2010 at 6:30am - intimacy - by sore - Sent from mobile version

Today, I woke up to realize that the guy who took my virginity last night also took my flat screen TV. FML

#7135131
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24687) - you deserved it (8796)

On 01/03/2010 at 10:41pm - intimacy - by december2009 (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was on Facebook when I saw a link about what Pokémon would look like if they had genitals. I'm not quite sure why, but I decided to click it, and at that exact moment, my brother and his friend walked in. They told my mom I was looking at Pokémon porn. I'll never be able to live this down. FML

#7124750
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9642) - you deserved it (23855)

On 01/03/2010 at 11:40am - intimacy - by grounded (man) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today, I changed my 2009 new year's resolution to lose my virginity to my 2010 new year's resolution. FML

#7119035
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17908) - you deserved it (4936)

On 01/03/2010 at 2:41am - intimacy - by stillavirgin (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex. He tried to put it in unerected. He was serious. FML

#7103723
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20833) - you deserved it (3292)

On 01/02/2010 at 12:22pm - intimacy - by xxxzzzooo (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was trying to be dirty with my fiancé. He got really into the roleplaying and wouldn't stop pretending to be a cop for hours. Mood officially killed. FML

#7103612
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15033) - you deserved it (3674)

On 01/02/2010 at 12:16pm - intimacy - by uhhggggg - Sent from mobile version

Today, I fell asleep while masturbating. I'm so bad that I bore myself. FML

#7100685
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18704) - you deserved it (6506)

On 01/02/2010 at 5:30am - intimacy - by Lonely (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my boyfriend called my cell. I picked up and said "Hi, this is Lisa and I want you to fuck me raw". It was my dad. He was at my boyfriend's parent's house and forgot his phone. FML

#7097610
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8371) - you deserved it (29332)

On 01/02/2010 at 2:02am - intimacy - by Lisa (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was snuggled in bed with my husband. He thought because my butt was twitching that I was trying to be frisky. So he slapped my ass hard in attempt to get something going. I was actually trying to hold in a huge fart because last night I had diarrhea. Apparently I still have it. FML

#7084392
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25459) - you deserved it (3354)

On 01/01/2010 at 3:23pm - intimacy - by Lovergirl (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, my girlfriend told me it was her fantasy to orgasm at midnight on New Years. We got started at 11:53. I didn't last until midnight. FML

#7080938
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11701) - you deserved it (18687)

On 01/01/2010 at 12:01pm - intimacy - by FavreFan99 (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my fiancé and I decided to engage in some erotic food play. She covered every region of my body, including my genitals, with strawberry sauce. Today also happens to be the day that I found out I'm allergic to strawberries. FML

#7070620
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21934) - you deserved it (3621)

On 01/01/2010 at 12:21am - intimacy - by welted (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my dad came home from work early only to walk in on me and the boy I'm not supposed to be seeing having sex. Did I mention doggie style? FML

#7070203
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8792) - you deserved it (26394)

On 01/01/2010 at 12:07am - intimacy - by meeranda - Sent from mobile version



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