Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, while in bed with my game obsessed girlfriend, she told me I was a "noob" in bed. FML

#8455591
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18800) - you deserved it (5954)

On 02/19/2010 at 8:47pm - intimacy - by anonymous - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend joined a group on Facebook called 'Swallow. Or it's going in your eye.' Today I also found out that my boyfriend takes Facebook groups very seriously. FML

#8439216
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20238) - you deserved it (4272)

On 02/19/2010 at 9:27am - intimacy - by kit_kat14 (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I was having sex with a girl. While we were fooling around, she started squeezing my cheeks and told me I remind her of her son. FML

#8434762
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21674) - you deserved it (3198)

On 02/19/2010 at 2:41am - intimacy - by Brett meek - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I lost my virginity to an ultrasound probe. FML

#8433301
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23498) - you deserved it (3854)

On 02/19/2010 at 1:30am - intimacy - by kaitlin - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my boyfriend and I were fooling around in bed, when suddenly, he turned to me and started playing with my breasts as if they were turn tables and he was the DJ. FML

#8406793
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16219) - you deserved it (4587)

On 02/18/2010 at 12:36pm - intimacy - by goldie09 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out that my neighbor gets more pleasure out of me and my husband having it off then I do. FML

#8382778
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15721) - you deserved it (2203)

On 02/17/2010 at 7:30pm - intimacy - by noosher0990 -

Today, my grandmother decided to tell me about her past as a prostitute. In full detail. FML

#8365042
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22021) - you deserved it (2248)

On 02/17/2010 at 1:40am - intimacy - by thatssickkk - United States (California)

Today, I was late to dinner with my anal-retentive parents because my boyfriend was too busy making cock puppets in the shower to get ready to go. FML

#8339859
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15166) - you deserved it (2955)

On 02/16/2010 at 2:20pm - intimacy - by tacolove69 - United States (California)

Today, I took my girlfriends virginity and had given it my all. When I had finished, sweating and tired, I looked down at her and smiled, obviously pleased with myself. She looked up at me and said, "Wait, was that it?" FML

#8317685
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24756) - you deserved it (5925)

On 02/15/2010 at 10:10pm - intimacy - by sadsexer23 - United States (Virginia)

Today, I decided to have sex with with my boyfriend. After we had finished I jokingly said, "who's going to sleep in the wet patch?". He got up and said "you're optimistic, I'm not staying. Oh, and I'm dumping you, that performance was disappointing". It was my first time. FML

#8292337
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32062) - you deserved it (4001)

On 02/15/2010 at 8:28am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my grandmother gave me a sex talk on how I should take "precautions", right in the middle of a packed bus station. I'm 21. FML

#8290111
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18437) - you deserved it (1984)

On 02/15/2010 at 5:02am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Lincolnshire)

Today, I made heart shaped cookies for my girlfriend. My mom's reaction? "They look like dicks." FML

#8268045
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18333) - you deserved it (3569)

On 02/14/2010 at 9:16pm - intimacy - by adam - United States (Illinois)

Today, my wife came home drunk, telling me all about this amazing man she met at the club with her friends, and how she wanted to have sex with him but couldn't because she was on her period. What a present. FML

#8266626
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26100) - you deserved it (2129)

On 02/14/2010 at 8:49pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kentucky)



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