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Today, my grad student husband was unusually frisky in the middle of the day. I took the opportunity and we had an enjoyable afternoon romp. Afterward, I asked him what had gotten him in such a good mood. He replied, "I'd do just about anything to get out of doing my homework." FML

#13213311
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26524) - you deserved it (3934)

On 09/26/2010 at 7:58pm - intimacy - by amorousintx - United States

Today, I learned that my girlfriend gives good head. I didn't find out by getting one, I found out by my drunk best friend telling me. FML

#13213227
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34894) - you deserved it (2874)

On 09/26/2010 at 7:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, it was my last day with my boyfriend before he went to college. At the store, he got a huge box of condoms. When I asked why he was getting so many, he said they were for the girls he meets at college. He then asked me to steal them for him. FML

#13187937
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40871) - you deserved it (4756)

On 09/24/2010 at 10:00pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I put an anonymous note under my neighbour's door asking them to not have sex so loudly during the day. Since then, I haven't heard any sex. Unfortunately, I have heard a woman crying loudly because she just found out about her husband's affair. FML

#13157318
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49289) - you deserved it (10416)

On 09/22/2010 at 3:04pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)

Today, I got in an argument with my boyfriend, who recently had to move away, about not calling enough. Apparently his moving had meant that we were now taking a break, he just forgot to talk it over with me. He still wants to visit, and keep the relationship in bed alive though. FML

#13153251
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28761) - you deserved it (4155)

On 09/22/2010 at 4:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I discovered that if I put my ankles on my boyfriends shoulders while we are having sex, I will pee myself. FML

#13152326
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34481) - you deserved it (13419)

On 09/22/2010 at 1:37am - intimacy - by noname - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I found my favorite stuffed animal I had as a child in the trash bin. I took it out to find that it felt wet and smelt funny. Apparently, my younger brother cut a hole in the butt of it and used it to masturbate. FML

#13145011
310 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54762) - you deserved it (3834)

On 09/21/2010 at 6:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I walked in on my dad touching his knob, in the kitchen, while cooking. FML

#13127028
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37421) - you deserved it (3862)

On 09/20/2010 at 10:58am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was on my way home on an airplane. The guy I had to sit next to was reading a book with naked girls in it. About 15 minutes into the flight, he had an erection and started to giggle. It was a 2 hour flight. FML

#13124550
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36362) - you deserved it (3291)

On 09/20/2010 at 3:16am - intimacy - by Thomas - United States (Oregon)

Today, I bought a new pack of "feminine wipes" on my way over to my boyfriend's house after a long day of work. He saw them in my purse and sweetly told me I shouldn't be so self conscious. Later on, when he was going down on me, he said, "I take back what I said earlier." FML

#13103525
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31561) - you deserved it (8753)

On 09/18/2010 at 8:15pm - intimacy - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, whilst at my awards night, I got a boner, right as it was my turn to accept my award. To avoid a awkward situation, I flipped it up and under my belt. This failed to make the situation any less awkward, because the head of my penis poked out through my shirt, in plain view of the audience. FML

Today, my boyfriend of three years decided it was finally time to have sex. After we did, he told me that he was sleeping with another girl. He wanted to have sex with me to see who was better. FML

#13078178
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46658) - you deserved it (6012)

On 09/16/2010 at 8:35pm - intimacy - by Laura - United States (Wisconsin)



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