Today, a guy at my work asked if I could fix his computer in his cubicle. The first thing I see on the screen when he logs me onto it is an anime porn game with tentacles. My boss walks by, stares at me and then laughs uncontrollably. FML

by Jack / 11/30/2010 at 3:48am / Intimacy

Today, I found out that my boyfriend has been cheating on me by finding orange panties in my closet. His excuse was "they're a Christmas gift." Thanks honey, I get panties that won't fit, and have little brown streaks. FML

by Anonymous / 11/29/2010 at 10:16am / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Intimacy

Today, my parents found several drawings of a dinosaur girl in various bondage equipment posing seductively in my purse. The drawings weren't mine, nor do I have any idea where they came from, but my parents now think I'm a freak. FML

by Anonymous / 11/29/2010 at 9:03am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, I had to make up a boyfriend to stop my lesbian roommate coming onto me. FML

by katelouise2102 / 11/29/2010 at 7:39am / United Kingdom (Lincolnshire) / Intimacy

Today, I was lying in bed listening to my neighbors have loud, and what sounded like, enjoyable sex. My boyfriend rolled over and said, "she sounds like fun" before rolling back over and going to sleep. It's been four months. FML

by unsatisfied / 11/29/2010 at 7:13am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy

Today, there are rumors flying around my office that I hooked up with the guy who picks his nose and leaves boogers under tables. I didn't. Last night I took a shower at my boyfriend's place, who happens to use the exact same body wash and shampoo as the office outcast. FML

by AntiAxe / 11/29/2010 at 1:23am / Intimacy

Today, I discovered my boyfriend prays before and after sex, because he thinks he'll keep his abstinence by doing so. FML

by Anonymous / 11/28/2010 at 6:49pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, while sleeping over at my girlfriend's house for the first time, I got up to go to the bathroom. I went to go back and once in the room asked, "You ready for round two baby?" The light came on and at this moment I realized I went into her parents bedroom by mistake. FML

by apavies444 / 11/28/2010 at 2:10am / United States / Intimacy

Today, while making a move in a board game that helped my boyfriend win, he got all excited and said "I love you, babe." I smiled until I realized this was the first time he told me that other than when he wants a blow-job. FML

by Anonymous / 11/28/2010 at 1:16am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I was texting my trainer to rearrange our training session. My girlfriend texted me during the exchange, asking what I wanted for Christmas. I accidentally texted my trainer, "All I want are your sweet titties in my face". I'm awaiting a response. FML

by Anonymous / 11/27/2010 at 3:36pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, while making love to my boyfriend, my sister called my cell phone. Not wanting to face the consequences of not answering, I had a long conversation with her. My boyfriend kept going. FML

by Anonymous / 11/27/2010 at 9:48am / United States / Intimacy

Today, right before my boyfriend and I were about to have sex, he touched his butt and says, "Oh I have a butt pimple." He then went and popped it. FML

by >{%£•¥ / 11/27/2010 at 2:08am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend confessed that he felt so insecure he submerged my $80 vibrator in water to eliminate the competition. FML

by Anonymous / 11/27/2010 at 12:57am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy