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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my family and I went to the mall. We all split up in a department store to shop for our own clothes. While shopping, I caught my dad feeling up a mannequin in the back corner of the store. FML

#10414091
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39299) - you deserved it (3242)

On 05/08/2010 at 6:07am - intimacy - by notmydad. (woman) - Philippines (Manila)

Today, I just realized the harder my girlfriend comes during sex, the louder she snores after. I've tried earplugs but sometimes, like tonight, once I am up, I can't fall back to sleep. My choices are thus great sex and no sleep, or great sleep but no sex. FML

#10398806
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37648) - you deserved it (5191)

On 05/07/2010 at 9:25am - intimacy - by SkiMaskFukd (man) - United States (California)

Today, I'm having a nice evening out on the town. After my complimentary round of drinks for my birthday, my friend walks in with a big pink gift-box. It was an inflatable... erm... 'friend.' Which then got unwrapped in front of several of my other friends. And several members of my family. FML

#10396972
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26934) - you deserved it (4601)

On 05/07/2010 at 4:30am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I sent my boyfriend a naughty pic. I then asked him if there was anything else he wanted before I got dressed. His reply? "No it's fine." FML

#10334392
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25119) - you deserved it (14633)

On 05/04/2010 at 3:33am - intimacy - by Rejection (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I watched my boyfriend feed his cat and change his profile on both myspace and facebook before saying to me that he was "Too busy to have sex." FML

#10288780
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26338) - you deserved it (5179)

On 05/02/2010 at 3:08am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to do something fun and spontaneous, so we had sex in the disabled toilet in the shopping centre. Little did we know, the male AND female toilets were conveniently being cleaned at the time, so the only toilet open was the disabled one. Walk of shame. FML

#10279492
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9808) - you deserved it (43095)

On 05/01/2010 at 8:12pm - intimacy - by sam (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend wouldn't lick the whipped cream I had on my nipples because "That stuff is full of calories." FML

#10158363
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41967) - you deserved it (9138)

On 04/26/2010 at 5:58am - intimacy - by Rowden (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was expecting a call from my friend. The phone rang and I answered with "WANK!!" as a joke. It wasn't my friend on the phone, it was my boss. FML

#10132808
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9155) - you deserved it (40264)

On 04/25/2010 at 6:00am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my boyfriend told me he loved me for the first time. He followed it with, "Want to try anal?" FML

#9994288
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37047) - you deserved it (9229)

On 04/19/2010 at 4:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I took a picture of my boobs and sent it to my boyfriend, only to realize after I hit "send" that I had sent them to the taxi driver (my last phone call) who had just dropped me off at my house. He won't stop calling my phone now. FML

#9950878
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11990) - you deserved it (51996)

On 04/17/2010 at 7:37pm - intimacy - by BoobSicle (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, as my boyfriend was unbuttoning my pants to go down on me, he looked at me and said in his best robot voice, "caution, contents may be stinky." FML

#9913301
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41736) - you deserved it (20607)

On 04/16/2010 at 12:03am - intimacy - by shmelly - United States

Today, I woke up next to a woman nearly twice my age. I don't know how to tell her it was drunken sex and not the beginning of a relationship. But I have to come up with something soon as I work with her Monday. FML

#9799109
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11952) - you deserved it (40713)

On 04/11/2010 at 7:54am - intimacy - by John doe - United States (Utah)

Today, I was with my girlfriend, thinking we were alone in the house. Her little brother found us having sex on the couch, took a pic and said, "You are now both my slaves." He ran upstairs and locked his bedroom door. FML

#9797503
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17371) - you deserved it (41243)

On 04/11/2010 at 4:11am - intimacy - by junior - United States (Arizona)



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