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Today, my boyfriend got off for real for the first time during sex. Apparently, he's been faking it for the past two months. I didn't even know guys could do that. FML

#9205385
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16526) - you deserved it (20887)

On 03/19/2010 at 12:11am - intimacy - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I decided it was time to lose my virginity to my boyfriend. After about ten minutes he started going faster and his stomach was slapping against mine. It was making a weird sound so I started laughing. Apparently that wasn't sexy and he went soft. My first time and we didn't even finish. FML

#9181669
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14170) - you deserved it (33352)

On 03/18/2010 at 6:39am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, the love of my life sent me a text saying "touch my pork". Somehow I don't think my feelings are mutual. FML

#9181615
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20319) - you deserved it (3844)

On 03/18/2010 at 6:24am - intimacy - by burgeee - United Kingdom (Bristol)

Today, my wife told me she was very horny as we have not had sex in about two weeks, so I told her to do something for me to get me in the mood. She sighed and then went upstairs to get ready for work. FML

#9180721
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10622) - you deserved it (44791)

On 03/18/2010 at 4:21am - intimacy - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I came back to my room and sat down at my desk to find pile short, curly hairs on it. Neither me or my roommate have curly hair, and it isn't mine. I think he trimmed his pubes over my desk and forgot to clean it up. FML

#9171257
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24125) - you deserved it (2496)

On 03/17/2010 at 9:55pm - intimacy - by pubes (man) - United States (South Dakota)

Today, I had my wisdom teeth removed. The sympathetic words from my boyfriend asked if this meant I could open my mouth a bit wider for him now. FML

#9158778
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23367) - you deserved it (5114)

On 03/17/2010 at 12:59pm - intimacy - by smiler (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I decided to fake it when my husband and I were making love. Afterwards, he told me that he could tell my head was "really in the game" and felt a stronger connection with me now and was glad I opened up and "let go" with him. FML

#9157788
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9578) - you deserved it (36701)

On 03/17/2010 at 11:46am - intimacy - by shouldabeenapornstar (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, the guy I hooked up with last weekend texted me that I needed to "landscape my front lawn." FML

#9155913
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10058) - you deserved it (24740)

On 03/17/2010 at 8:48am - intimacy - by Bushfan101 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I put on some goggles on in the pool, only to go underwater and see an old man "discreetly" jerking it. FML

#9152447
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34876) - you deserved it (4038)

On 03/17/2010 at 2:12am - intimacy - by today -

Today, my boyfriend of a year dumped me. In my opinion, the relationship was going so well and I really thought we loved each other. When I asked why, he told me he never loved me. He just wanted to get in my pants which after a year of refusing, he finally did. FML

#9138993
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26582) - you deserved it (5293)

On 03/16/2010 at 7:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, after confronting my husband about lack of intimacy in our marriage, I found him playing with himself. His response to my shock was ‘This is less work and less involving.’ FML

#9100047
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21119) - you deserved it (4425)

On 03/15/2010 at 10:05am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, the boy I like finally acknowledged me. He came up to me and uttered two words: "Nice pooper." FML

#9097770
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18997) - you deserved it (3298)

On 03/15/2010 at 5:14am - intimacy - by shygurl434 - United States (Alaska)

Today, I learned that a few pubes on your bed can stop you from getting laid. FML

#9095139
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7133) - you deserved it (28796)

On 03/15/2010 at 2:00am - intimacy - by PubelishedAuthor (man) - United States (California)



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