Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I had to lie to my therapist about my sex life to make me feel better. FML

#7696686
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17367) - you deserved it (5548)

On 01/30/2010 at 1:50am - intimacy - by virgo - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because he has "commitment issues". He said he "cared" for me but didn't "love" me. He did this 30 minutes after we'd hooked up and said we loved each other. FML

#7669897
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17252) - you deserved it (4420)

On 01/29/2010 at 9:14am - intimacy - by rejected (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was on my grandparents' computer looking for my old high school resume. I came across a word document titled "Experiences". Thinking it was part of my resume, I opened it up and started reading. It was a brief, yet explicit record of my grandfather's recent sexual frustrations. FML

#7631314
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15140) - you deserved it (4681)

On 01/28/2010 at 12:00am - intimacy - by nick (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, after confessing my love for my best friend, he looked at me and said "I'm not feeling it. But does this mean we can have sex?" FML

#7618857
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21347) - you deserved it (3115)

On 01/27/2010 at 7:09pm - intimacy - by Boned...hard - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was letting my boyfriend of 4 years tie me up and do stuff to me. After finishing on my face, he then left. My parents had to untie me. FML

#7609277
329 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42397) - you deserved it (11971)

On 01/27/2010 at 8:35am - intimacy - by chanclepants - Sent from mobile version

Today, I realized that my ex-girlfriend has gone further with a girl than I have. FML

#7608615
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22144) - you deserved it (4661)

On 01/27/2010 at 6:55am - intimacy - by Patrick - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend decided to perform a strip tease for me. As he was stripping out of his clothes, he took his shirt and then pants off first. He was wearing zebra striped knee high socks and underwear. I burst out laughing. He left. FML

#7606758
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9392) - you deserved it (23665)

On 01/27/2010 at 2:35am - intimacy - by DuChaillu (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was having sex with a girl when her parents decided to come home early. Trying to run out the back door I fell and broke my ankle. Not only did her former Navy Seal father find out I was banging his little princess, he drove me to the ER, alone. FML

#7598826
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11698) - you deserved it (25075)

On 01/26/2010 at 9:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, I learned that removing your boyfriends boxers with your teeth is waaaay less sexy when you accidentally bite a chunk of his pubes and yank them out in the process. FML

#7585326
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7867) - you deserved it (22675)

On 01/26/2010 at 3:59am - intimacy - by sexyfail (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I tried talking to my boyfriend about our sex life. I was trying to express that I feel like we don't do it enough, but he wasn't very responsive. I ended up saying, "I wish you had a bigger sex drive" to which he answered, "I wish you had bigger boobs." FML

#7584154
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19955) - you deserved it (9118)

On 01/26/2010 at 1:56am - intimacy - by mairelys (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I discovered that my mom and her disgusting mess of a boyfriend refer to his penis as "the monkey." And she says that I hate him because I'M immature. FML

#7565920
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17965) - you deserved it (2244)

On 01/25/2010 at 8:32am - intimacy - by emergency (woman) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, my boyfriend kept trying to convince me to do anal with him. After denying him several times he told me "Why it feels good, trust me." I asked him how would he know. There was a long awkward silence when he then replied with "I'm not gay I swear." FML

#7563904
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30776) - you deserved it (4382)

On 01/25/2010 at 3:47am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was making love to my boyfriend on the back bumper of my car. After he finished he told me he felt like he was riding a seahorse. FML

#7563782
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15300) - you deserved it (3971)

On 01/25/2010 at 3:36am - intimacy - by Krissy (woman) - United States (New Mexico)



Ronald Grandpey's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Ronald Grandpey's illustrated FML
  • Hello everyone, how's it going? You doing OK? Friday is the right time to get your glad rags on, go out, meet your friends, have a drink, get your freak on, shoot the breeze, shoot some hoops, don't shoot…

Friday 30 January 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: