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Today, to spice things up a bit my wife and I were having sex in our kitchen. She was up on the counter and I moved her over to get in a better position. The stove was still hot from dinner so now my wife has a burn that looks like a double rainbow on her ass. FML

#13297808
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12222) - you deserved it (35256)

On 10/03/2010 at 12:27am - intimacy - by EffinAhole - Sent from mobile version

Today, while I was going down on my girlfriend, she fell asleep. She said she was too tired to fake it. FML

#13295050
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30797) - you deserved it (9182)

On 10/02/2010 at 9:34pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was visiting my boyfriend, who lives 2 hours away. After about twenty minutes of glorious sex, he told me in no uncertain terms that he was about to come. He then "baaa"d like a sheep as he came. I couldn't come after that. FML

#13291298
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30916) - you deserved it (4236)

On 10/02/2010 at 4:31pm - intimacy - by seriously (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got a text from my ex: "I miss you." I was happy to hear this, so I replied "Really?" I got in return "Not really, I'm just really horny and thinking of you." FML

#13285189
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33040) - you deserved it (5563)

On 10/02/2010 at 2:25am - intimacy - by rawr101 (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I got a little too drunk and confessed to my fiancé, the love of my life, that I've been faking my orgasms all along. I hate that I can't lie when I'm drunk. FML

#13283938
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10615) - you deserved it (39336)

On 10/02/2010 at 12:28am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out my older brother put tanning lotion in the lotion I use to masturbate with. Now I have orange palms and an orange penis which won't go away for weeks. FML

#13278835
321 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19762) - you deserved it (44725)

On 10/01/2010 at 6:12pm - intimacy - by caughtorangehanded (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I caught my husband modeling my cute floral panties. All he could manage to say was "I love you." FML

#13274017
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30968) - you deserved it (4659)

On 10/01/2010 at 7:07am - intimacy - by canispankthat - United States (California)

Today, I had to cancel my wedding because my fiancé is so hungover from his bachelor party, he's throwing up all over the place, can't stand up straight and is calling me by the stripper's name he met yesterday night. FML

#13273725
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44935) - you deserved it (4911)

On 10/01/2010 at 5:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, in an attempt to spice up our relationship, I tied my boyfriend up and did a strip tease for him. I pulled my skirt down over my heels and tripped as I tried to step out of it. Not only did I pull a muscle in my leg but I elbowed him in the groin. So much for spice. FML

#13272334
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27950) - you deserved it (8878)

On 10/01/2010 at 1:43am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was given new meds, and apparently my body doesn't understand the difference between "may cause stomach upset" and "you will crap yourself as you have an orgasm while having sex with your boyfriend." FML

#13261613
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49015) - you deserved it (5258)

On 09/30/2010 at 9:25am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend asked me if I have ever or would ever fake an orgasm. I assured him that I wouldn't, when he has actually never given me one. I didn't have the heart to tell him. FML

#13260698
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12159) - you deserved it (35672)

On 09/30/2010 at 5:56am - intimacy - by ohyaknow (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I went to the beach with this boy I like. Not thinking it'd be anything more than a simple date, I didn't shave my downstairs. We were sitting on a towel and I laid down. Then he said, "Is there a squirrel in your pants?" FML

#13245157
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19034) - you deserved it (42344)

On 09/29/2010 at 1:59am - intimacy - by Claire (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I found out my boyfriend had his phone taken away by his dad for this past week. I have been sending him naked photos and other naughty things this entire week, or so I thought. FML

#13223066
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15430) - you deserved it (38393)

On 09/27/2010 at 3:30pm - intimacy - by Liz - United States (Florida)



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