Today, my girlfriend did the walk of shame in a skimpy Halloween costume after a night of drunken sex. Problem? The walk ended at my doorstep, and the sex was with a stranger. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27142) - you deserved it (1800)
On 11/03/2012 at 6:02am - intimacy - by heartbroke (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I finally lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It hurt like hell, was over in less than a minute, and he tried to reuse the condom for a second round. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26408) - you deserved it (3616)
On 11/02/2012 at 9:23pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Nova Scotia)
Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. I thought it was all going really well, until I looked up a minute or two in, only to be greeted by a stone-cold death glare and the words, "You really are an idiot, aren't you?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (23113) - you deserved it (6367)
On 11/02/2012 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)
Today, I texted my boyfriend saying that I couldn't wait for him to get home and see my costume, and that I had dressed up as a naked lady. He texted back asking if I could dress up as someone who was making dinner instead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21133) - you deserved it (4353)
On 11/01/2012 at 3:54am - intimacy - by okay._. - United States (California)
Today, while getting intimate with my girlfriend, she asked me to whisper her name. Apparently, her name is not Kate. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7027) - you deserved it (50258)
On 10/30/2012 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by you (man) - United Kingdom
Today, I found out that my girlfriend has secretly been conditioning me to get turned on by the smell of bananas. Guess whose new co-worker peels a nice, fragrant banana five times a day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20797) - you deserved it (2123)
On 10/29/2012 at 8:42pm - intimacy - by SadExperiment (man) - United States (California)
Today, I broke a nail at school. The edge kept getting caught on things, so I thought I could file it down by rubbing it on my jeans. Apparently it looked like I was doing something else, because I was called into the principal's office to discuss why "certain things" should be done in private. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20667) - you deserved it (556)
On 10/29/2012 at 8:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I had sex with this guy I had been crushing on for five years. It took longer to put my clothes back on than he lasted. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21093) - you deserved it (4068)
On 10/29/2012 at 4:49pm - intimacy - by le_evan - United States (California)
Today, my husband and I were told by our elderly neighbors that they can hear us having sex a lot. To top it off, the elderly man said while patting his wife's arm with a smile, "Carol used to make noises like that too, back in the day." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20449) - you deserved it (4601)
On 10/28/2012 at 12:06am - intimacy - by Ceej - United States (Michigan)
Today, I decided to watch some porn to cheer myself up after having recently been dumped. Halfway through wanking the gibbon, I got a horrifyingly painful cramp in my foot, and cried out in pain. Ten seconds later, with my pants still down, my dad rushed in to see if I was okay. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15325) - you deserved it (9493)
On 10/27/2012 at 3:18pm - intimacy - by whoreticulturalist (man) - United Kingdom (Plymouth)
Today, my mom called me from jail. She was arrested for having sex in public. I was with my dad when I got the call. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37481) - you deserved it (1576)
On 10/27/2012 at 11:02am - intimacy - by Monkey (man) - United States
Today, it's the five year anniversary of the day I broke up with my girlfriend to see other people. I've not had sex a single time since. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7761) - you deserved it (38503)
On 10/27/2012 at 12:04am - intimacy - by Cslouth - United States (New York)
Today, my grandma took it upon herself to give me the sex talk. After explaining the mechanics in excessive detail, she said I shouldn't be afraid to sleep around. Apparently, I need to be comfortable with the man who'll be "conning me into blowing him for the next 50 years." FML
I agree, your life sucks (19102) - you deserved it (1930)
On 10/26/2012 at 1:58pm - intimacy - by fiftyshardsofbroccoli (woman) - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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