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Today, after months of patiently waiting, I finally got my roommates out of the house for the night so I could have sex with my boyfriend for the first time without being interrupted. He couldn't get it up. FML

#20864109
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49625) - you deserved it (6299)

On 09/02/2013 at 2:49am - intimacy - by Kiddo (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend tried to get me to wear curly wig, so I could pretend to be Harry Styles in bed. FML

#20863117
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46328) - you deserved it (5864)

On 09/01/2013 at 12:34pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, my friend told me she turned down a job as a babysitter because she didn't want to be secretly videotaped, as she knew the people had a nanny cam. I wasn't aware of this when I took that same job a few nights ago and asked my boyfriend to come by. We had sex on their couch. FML

#20862871
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21339) - you deserved it (82689)

On 09/01/2013 at 5:57am - intimacy - by happyturtle (woman) - Croatia

Today, we went boating with friends. For some reason the bottom of our tube deflated, causing me to be bounced roughly up and down on the water. As a result, I had the most intense orgasm of my entire life, while sitting 2 inches away from my dad's friend. He definitely noticed. FML

#20862305
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51688) - you deserved it (5344)

On 08/31/2013 at 9:21pm - intimacy - by SplishSplash (woman) - United States

Today, I went down on my boyfriend, and tried out a new trick I learned. I read in a magazine that if you hum while giving oral, it's supposed to feel good. My boyfriend started laughing and told me to stop after 30 seconds because I reminded him of his singing toothbrush. FML

#20857818
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47052) - you deserved it (8820)

On 08/28/2013 at 12:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I realized the moans I make when masturbating sound like I'm crying. I realized this when my neighbor pounded on the door asking if I was okay. FML

#20856552
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42692) - you deserved it (10356)

On 08/27/2013 at 2:34pm - intimacy - by crier - United States (Virginia)

Today, half-way through my trip to Florida, I received a call from my friend of six years. "I sort of had sex with your girlfriend while you were gone." He said it "just sort of happened." FML

#20855295
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50581) - you deserved it (3386)

On 08/26/2013 at 4:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I suggestively asked my boyfriend to take a shower with me. He got in, washed himself, and got out, ignoring me the whole time. FML

#20852722
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47648) - you deserved it (6930)

On 08/24/2013 at 7:54pm - intimacy - by -.- - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. As I started getting close to having my first ever orgasm, I got extremely short of breath and started hyperventilating. His reaction was to cover my mouth to shut me up. FML

#20852629
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49079) - you deserved it (6441)

On 08/24/2013 at 6:31pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Isle of Man

Today, my boyfriend dumped me for "cheating" on him by using a vibrator. FML

#20851263
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47997) - you deserved it (14209)

On 08/23/2013 at 7:30pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I had sex. The guy texted me an hour later, saying, "That was awkward. Let's not do that again." FML

#20848750
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47131) - you deserved it (6475)

On 08/22/2013 at 12:27am - intimacy - by none - United States (Texas)

Today, as I was walking downstairs to get breakfast, I saw my parents had decided to have a quickie on the couch. I had to awkwardly stand out of sight on the stairs, too scared to go down, or even back up, because our stairs creak. FML

Today, I got sexual tingles while watching a Subway worker assemble my sandwich. FML

#20846728
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39402) - you deserved it (8524)

On 08/20/2013 at 6:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Sheffield)



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