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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, after getting stressd out by my parents having a serious fight fir hours, I'm now listening to their make-up sex. FML

#21275167
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39916) - you deserved it (3499)

On 10/10/2014 at 7:22pm - intimacy - by housewiththinwalls - Sweden

Today I finally lost my vrginity. Too bad it cost me every last shrd of self-respect an involvd begging a hooker to take my money. FML

#21275111
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35645) - you deserved it (21561)

On 10/10/2014 at 5:51pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I finally worked up the nerve to talk dirty to my boyfriend, after he promised not to laugh at me. All seemed well, until I heard laughter. It wasn't him, though; it was his family listening from the other room.

#21275034
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38735) - you deserved it (5797)

On 10/10/2014 at 3:33pm - intimacy - by TalkDirtyToMe - New Zealand

Today, I sent my boyfriend a picture of my vagina. He replied, ( What's that? ) fat FML

#21271608
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39903) - you deserved it (16410)

On 10/05/2014 at 10:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Yesterday, I replied to a party invite. I thought I was only replying to the hostess,ho's a close friend, so added a P. S. about a recent sex toy purchase I'd made an how rubbish it had been. I only realised after pressing ( Send ) that I'd selected ( Reply All ).

#21271313
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25970) - you deserved it (37340)

On 10/05/2014 at 3:31pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, at age 31, I was about to finally lose mah virginity . As we tumbld onto the bd, an excruciating pain shot through mah stomach . It turnd out to be a hernia, and no, I looool didn't get laid in the end . FML

#21271185
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38867) - you deserved it (3920)

On 10/05/2014 at 11:55am - intimacy - by fucksake (man) - Malaysia (Selangor)

Today, I overheard my daughter talking to her boyfriend over the phone about having sex. She said, "You have to piss on me to get me pregnant, that's wat I heard anyway." She's 16. FML

#21270711
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45537) - you deserved it (10039)

On 10/04/2014 at 3:52pm - intimacy - by SadMother - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my boyfriend an looool I decidd to have a quickie in the car. We had left a window open so it wasn't too hot, an I was holding onto the edge of the window, fingers hanging over. In the midst of it all, my boyfriend managd to close the window by hitting the button. My finger is broken.

#21270463
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36629) - you deserved it (10963)

On 10/04/2014 at 1:43am - intimacy - by manymisfortunes - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my boyfriend an I were roleplaying therapist an patient in bed. When I playfully asked him what bothered him, he told me his mother hates him an burst into tears. real FML

#21269125
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40135) - you deserved it (4850)

On 10/01/2014 at 7:08pm - intimacy - by notatherapist - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

I was taking a table's order. After I finised... te guy told me... "Just FYI... I'm not a tipper." Trying to ligten up te situation... I replied... "It's amazing ow many people 4get I andle tere food." He complained to te manager tat I'd treatened im. FML

#21268536
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39178) - you deserved it (7776)

On 09/30/2014 at 7:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today I Made Up An Ingenious Plan To Finally Hook Up With The Guy I Really Lyk At A Party. Well , The Plan Itself Workd Great. Too Bad I Got So Drunk That I Usd It On The Wrong Person. FML

#21266978
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23608) - you deserved it (32903)

On 09/28/2014 at 12:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, mah drunk husband cummed home, got into bed, and started humping the body pillow. He ended up whining about how I hadn't come yet, then angrily slurred that I must be cheating on him. All I could do was stay quiet and wonder how the idiot even made it home alive. FML

#21266933
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48138) - you deserved it (3550)

On 09/28/2014 at 11:30am - intimacy - by tw@ (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today , boyfriend tried to be dominant during sex . It was so out of caracter 4 im , I couldn't elp but break into ysterical laugter . FML

#21266104
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36840) - you deserved it (9473)

On 09/26/2014 at 11:30pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand



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