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Today, I heard my sister gagging in her room. She was doing it quietly, and I got pretty concerned, after hearing a lot about bulimia recently. I knocked, then heard a gasp, so I let myself in, only to see her on her knees and her boyfriend with his underwear around his ankles. FML

#21233355
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51751) - you deserved it (21144)

On 08/09/2014 at 3:29pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I put on a porno, trying to unwind after a bad day. 10 minutes in, I was so pissed off with the girl constantly repeating "You like that? Yeah?" and the cameraman's obsession with the guy's asscrack that I started yelling at the screen. Now I'm more stressed than ever. FML

#21232670
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39021) - you deserved it (12900)

On 08/08/2014 at 5:29pm - intimacy - by FUCK YOU (man) - United States

Today, I finally felt ready for intimacy with my boyfriend, and I sent him a sexy picture of myself topless. He texted back, "Ewwwww." FML

#21232655
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44521) - you deserved it (6808)

On 08/08/2014 at 5:05pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Israel

Today, I got a call from my very drunk boyfriend at 1:30am asking for my permission to have sex with a "gross fat chick" he met at a pub, because he "felt sorry for her". The conversation ended with me getting hung up on because I "don't have a heart". FML

#21232277
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48419) - you deserved it (4553)

On 08/08/2014 at 2:05am - intimacy - by pocketrocket90 (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, one of my customer's pipes were blocked. As I went to unblock it, about a handful of used condoms collided with my face. I don't know if I should be disgusted by this or disgusted by my customer. FML

#21231545
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44565) - you deserved it (3856)

On 08/07/2014 at 5:09am - intimacy - by failallday (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, since I work at a doughnut shop, I came home smelling like fry oil and had bits of sugar on me. My boyfriend told me he loves having sex with me right after I get off work. He said its like having sex with a hot doughnut. FML

#21230044
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48146) - you deserved it (8088)

On 08/05/2014 at 12:48pm - intimacy - by donutsex (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that my wife of 12 years has slept with the workmen we've had working on our long term building project. They call her the "quickie queen". FML

#21226819
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54559) - you deserved it (3671)

On 08/01/2014 at 2:27pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, my husband thought it would be romantic to pick me up and fall on the bed with me while we were kissing. Our faces smashed together as we hit the bed, and my tongue is still bleeding on and off. FML

#21224768
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44871) - you deserved it (5358)

On 07/30/2014 at 1:04pm - intimacy - by WasntWorthIt - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I listened to my best friend describe having sex with her boyfriend in explicit detail. This would have been fine, but her boyfriend is my little brother. FML

#21222459
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51869) - you deserved it (4987)

On 07/27/2014 at 9:55pm - intimacy - by why - United States

Today, I went on Facebook. The third post down was a selfie of my mom looking sad, with the caption, "God I need a good dicking." FML

#21218442
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51215) - you deserved it (11828)

On 07/23/2014 at 4:00pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend said we can't have sex with the light on anymore. He said he can never finish because the face I make when I orgasm makes him laugh. FML

#21216984
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39421) - you deserved it (25418)

On 07/22/2014 at 1:55am - intimacy - by teegtwo (woman) - United States

Today, my wife was putting her finger in my bellybutton and making overly sexual noises. I thought this was all fun and games until I realized she was actually into this. FML

#21209385
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51248) - you deserved it (6399)

On 07/14/2014 at 11:25pm - intimacy - by thedoc (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, me and my boyfriend decided to have some fun in my room before my parents got home. My phone started vibrating half-way through, and when I saw my mom's picture, I reflexively answered. It wasn't a phone call. It was a face time. Busted. FML

#21208909
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31772) - you deserved it (49035)

On 07/14/2014 at 1:45pm - intimacy - by Ob3nie - United States (California)



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