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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I was watching The Walking Dead while in bed, when I heard a noise in the kitchen. I told myself I was just imagining things. Several hours later, as I was getting ready for sleep, I found out I'd actually been robbed. FML

#21299716
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36355) - you deserved it (5500)

On 11/15/2014 at 5:59pm - intimacy - by Slow_Walker (woman) - Georgia (Dushet'is Raioni)

Today, I found out that my girlfriend was cheating on me. Her excuse? I was the one that had initially introduced them. FML

#21298582
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33353) - you deserved it (2704)

On 11/13/2014 at 7:59pm - intimacy - by johnnycomehelpme - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend threatened to break up with me if I don't satisfy his "needs." By "needs", he means me wearing a diaper during foreplay. FML

#21297687
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43016) - you deserved it (4329)

On 11/12/2014 at 12:55pm - intimacy - by honey, no boo-boo (woman) - United States

Today, my wife slapped me for touching her boobs during sex. FML

#21296872
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47674) - you deserved it (4890)

On 11/11/2014 at 10:37am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend pretended to be reading braille while touching my chest acne. FML

#21295903
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37564) - you deserved it (5814)

On 11/10/2014 at 12:01am - intimacy - by annababyyyy - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was getting everything ready for mine and my husband's first wedding anniversary. Flowers, check. Crisp new bed sheets, check. Silk underwear, check. Crippling cramps and an early period, check. FML

#21294602
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46031) - you deserved it (3193)

On 11/08/2014 at 9:09am - intimacy - by betterthanhodor - United Kingdom (Suffolk)

Today, I finally found out why my husband is always so eager and happy to buy me whatever I am craving during my pregnancy. It's because it gives him an excuse to meet up with his mistress and have a quickie. FML

#21294259
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53883) - you deserved it (2964)

On 11/07/2014 at 6:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blowjob. I was laying in between his legs because it's just more comfortable. I looked down, and he had pieces of toilet paper sticking out of his butt cheeks. FML

#21291810
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44314) - you deserved it (6601)

On 11/04/2014 at 7:03am - intimacy - by anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I decided to give my boyfriend a surprise striptease. After I turned around, I heard him murmur "Oh, wow." I turned back around, only to find him watching a gif of a cat falling into snow in slow motion. FML

#21291260
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35686) - you deserved it (4146)

On 11/03/2014 at 2:06pm - intimacy - by Dezzy - United States (Missouri)

Today, I lost my virginity. In the middle of it, he just gave up and said he wasn't in the mood anymore. Then I had to listen about his past failed relationships for over an hour. FML

#21291250
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40884) - you deserved it (4624)

On 11/03/2014 at 1:56pm - intimacy - by EliseV (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while having some "personal" time, I felt intense pleasure and moaned. I learned that my own moaning prevents me from reaching my peak. I'm my own turn off. FML

#21290790
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36476) - you deserved it (5838)

On 11/02/2014 at 8:31pm - intimacy - by SelfServiced - United States (California)

Today, while my husband and I were having sex, my cat decided to join in on our moans by crying at the door the entire time. He stopped as soon as we finished. FML

Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. The words "Christ, Jeff. It's a vagina, not a burrito. CALM DOWN!" were spoken. FML

#21290417
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41156) - you deserved it (12367)

On 11/02/2014 at 10:36am - intimacy - by jay-frey96 (man) - United States (California)



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