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Today, I saw a woman breastfeeding at the natural foods market. It's the first time I've seen a woman's nipple in over two years. I've been married for ten. FML

#20538070
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46803) - you deserved it (5650)

On 03/10/2013 at 12:13pm - intimacy - by themouseman1212 - United States

Today, our dog jumped on the bed while my fiancé and I were having sex, and let out the most horrific fart. My fiancé, like a gentleman, held my nose closed while he continued banging me. FML

Today, my boyfriend and I were on my bed when things started getting hot and it began to shake. My little sister called the entire family to the hall to listen to "the frogs in the wall". FML

#20537793
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14367) - you deserved it (31109)

On 03/10/2013 at 3:41am - intimacy - by lolk - United States (Arkansas)

Today, a technician from my ISP came to my house to replace my router. He asked for a glass of water, one thing led to another, and for some reason I'll never fully understand, we ended up having sex. Looks like porn logic is not so far off the mark after all. FML

#20537010
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14570) - you deserved it (50503)

On 03/09/2013 at 1:50pm - intimacy - by je_regrette_tout (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, the guy in the dorm room next to me was playing very loud metal music. I went next door and kindly asked him to turn it off. He did, so I went back to my room to go back to sleep. It turns out he was using the music to drown out his girlfriend's very loud moans. FML

#20536784
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (1211) - you deserved it (9121)

On 03/09/2013 at 8:35am - intimacy - by ShittyWalls (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, while having sex with my husband, he went soft. When I asked him what happened he said, "I'm about to fall asleep." He then plopped down on my chest and began to snore. FML

#20536683
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30989) - you deserved it (3311)

On 03/09/2013 at 3:56am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I showed my wife an article about how frequent orgasms can prevent prostate cancer, as well as increase both partners' overall health. She replied that she wouldn't judge me if I masturbated, as long as I don't use porn. FML

#20536129
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27264) - you deserved it (7433)

On 03/08/2013 at 6:36pm - intimacy - by marriage/celibacy/synonymity (man) - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, I woke up to discover that the guy I hooked up with last night did indeed have a mullet. FML

#20535419
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11467) - you deserved it (39937)

On 03/08/2013 at 1:01am - intimacy - by WeHitTurbulence (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend started coming onto me, despite me being on my period. He said it was okay, and we went to his bedroom. He told me to spread my legs as he spread his hands. Thinking it'd be sexy, I did. He then yelled, "I AM MOSES! I PART THE RED SEA!" and broke down in laughter. FML

#20533607
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44487) - you deserved it (11190)

On 03/06/2013 at 3:20pm - intimacy - by RedWaters - United States

Today, I decided to come onto my husband to switch things up. When I started kissing and trying to undress him, he pushed me off, saying "What're you doing? Jeopardy's about to start." FML

#20532214
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33008) - you deserved it (3630)

On 03/05/2013 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by married an old man - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend told me I was selfish for "choosing" to start my period on his day off from work. FML

#20531170
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41262) - you deserved it (3929)

On 03/04/2013 at 6:03pm - intimacy - by Thankshun (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend ripped my panties trying to get them off. Not off me, off himself. FML

#20530380
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36793) - you deserved it (3643)

On 03/04/2013 at 12:11am - intimacy - by nopanties (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, in the middle of sex, my girlfriend asked me, "Are you sure you're a guy?" I still have no idea what that was for. FML

#20529151
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36490) - you deserved it (4844)

On 03/03/2013 at 7:17am - intimacy - by Ihatemylife (man) - Slovenia (Bohinj)



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  • The Worst Sisters Ever
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Monday 17 June 2013

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