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Today, my boyfriend and I took a nap, fully clothed. I woke up to him panicking. He'd had a wet dream and was scared that his sperm somehow swam through several layers of clothing and got me pregnant. FML

#20982965
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45646) - you deserved it (3912)

On 12/06/2013 at 4:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, my boyfriend's idea of foreplay was to offer to make lunch, leave the room for a few minutes, then come back with no clothes on and offer me a "cockmeat sandwich". FML

#20982904
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43450) - you deserved it (6596)

On 12/06/2013 at 3:23pm - intimacy - by fuckadaisical (woman) - United Kingdom (Rhondda Cynon Taff)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when I got a sudden agonising cramp in my foot. I cried out in pain, but he didn't stop. If anything, my cries of pain seemed to spur him on. FML

#20981691
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39462) - you deserved it (6652)

On 12/05/2013 at 2:10pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Sunderland)

Today, I was having it off with my boyfriend when all of a sudden he stops, grabs my breasts with both hands, makes circular motions with them, and yells, "Daniel-san! Wax on! Wax off! Wax on! Wax off!", killing my orgasm dead. FML

#20981063
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39912) - you deserved it (4261)

On 12/04/2013 at 10:19pm - intimacy - by KarateKid76 (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, while having sex with my husband, we had to move around our cat during position changes. Our cat controls our sex life. FML

#20978895
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38472) - you deserved it (14596)

On 12/02/2013 at 11:26pm - intimacy - by anon (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my girlfriend wants to make a video of us having sex for us to watch later and figure out how to improve our skills in bed. The problem is her choice of cameraman: her uncle. FML

#20978171
199 comments

Today, I realized my girlfriend has been "on her period" for almost two months. FML

#20975537
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46007) - you deserved it (9792)

On 11/30/2013 at 3:31am - intimacy - by Jack - United States (Ohio)

Today, I'm staying with my in-laws. My husband is fighting with his dad, who's fighting with his brother-in-law, who's fighting with his wife. The only ones not fighting are my sister-in-law and her boyfriend, who're getting along great on a squeaky mattress in the room next to mine. FML

#20975413
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41297) - you deserved it (2623)

On 11/30/2013 at 12:58am - intimacy - by Thanksalot (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was rubbing one out in the shower. I guess I got a little too excited, because as I came close to climaxing, I had a serious asthma attack and had to wheeze for help. FML

#20975074
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41807) - you deserved it (10132)

On 11/29/2013 at 7:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. It was also the first time he'd ever had sex. How could I tell? He cried all the way through, and called his parents right after. FML

#20974515
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50568) - you deserved it (4702)

On 11/29/2013 at 6:56am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, after moving miles to be with my boyfriend, I logged onto his computer just in time to see his other girlfriend had sent naked pictures. FML

#20972839
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45016) - you deserved it (4589)

On 11/27/2013 at 7:01pm - intimacy - by unluckylassy - Ireland

Today, I found out my boyfriend has a fetish for cats. I think I'm going to have to meow before we do anything together. FML

#20971142
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38519) - you deserved it (4785)

On 11/26/2013 at 7:17am - intimacy - by HaedLei (woman) - United States

Today, after having some drinks at the club, I went home with this awesome girl. When I woke up, I thought the house looked really familiar. It belonged to my ex's younger sister. FML

#20970124
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42654) - you deserved it (14692)

On 11/25/2013 at 12:38pm - intimacy - by sister sister - United States (New York)



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