Today, I performed in my school play. Right before my big solo, I noticed a few girls changing backstage and I became aroused. The play was Jesus Christ Superstar, and I was playing Jesus. All I was wearing was a little cloth, so the whole audience saw Jesus get hard during the crucifixion. FML
I agree, your life sucks (67304) - you totally deserved it (24929)
On 04/14/2009 at 11:27pm - intimacy - by jizzlemonster13 (man) - United States (New York)
Ha ha! Good attempt at an excuse but we all now know that your into a bit of bondage ya dirty bugger.
What the hell is Jesus superstar? Is that like a regular Jesus play except with a catchy title? If so you really did your part in the play.
Dude, you nicked this amusing incedent from the film Sex Drive, just with a few minor details exchanged.
#11
1. I don't like plays.
2. I don't really follow religions anymore after seeing how hateful religious people got at my school and in the world.
3. The only plays in middle school we were allowed to do were "Jesus Christ". If we changed the name of the play to something more catchy it was a sin and everything we did was a sin.
I never heard of it either, but eh...
Why you don't check out the ladies... Or at least use mind control.
"Great Aunt Judie's arm fat."
Repeat that.
#15 - On 04/15/2009 at 6:37am by Blue_Coconuts
LOL @ #2
I would've gone backstage after and tracked down Mary Magdelene ;)
#17 - On 04/15/2009 at 6:45am by Ncc_Tardis
#6, Jesus Christ Superstar isn't THAT religious. Sure it's about Jesus, but it's more for entertainment than anything else. XD
I'm not even religious (but i go to a catholic school because it's the only decent one in my town), and i still know it. ^-^
& to the OP, good job getting a hard on. Next time pay more attention to the audience/your big solo than the girls back stage (but it is FYL) =P
#18 - On 04/15/2009 at 7:06am by XOfiestypixie
#2
"Saved" was an awesome movie, wasn't it?
I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE!
#30 - On 04/15/2009 at 7:58am by judgeymcjudge
I have to say it's your own fault. This is why it's an unspoken rule of theatre that you don't watch people changing backstage. It's rude, and then you get hard on stage. You totally deserved it.
You were in a play called Jesus Christ...Superstar? Is that a joke?
#33 - On 04/15/2009 at 8:40am by Alex_DeLarge
#33 yes it's a real play, look it up
#2lol - I LOVE 'Saved!' :)
#10 lmao!
#34 - On 04/15/2009 at 8:56am by kelseysue92
if your jesus and you know it clap your hands
still, great story OP, is it a very religious school? and did anyone mention it afterwards or did you just recieve a lot of awkward glances
#38 - On 04/15/2009 at 9:33am by quantumoftruth
I see what you did there, 2.
but hey, the OP got what was coming to him. Seriously. You don't watch people change backstage. That's just an automatically assumed rule.
#40 - On 04/15/2009 at 9:46am by Kickinchicken213
Perfect, arose right after Easter. You goin' to hell...
Hell = the place you go to everyday where over a thousand people call you something like "Cruci-Dix" or "Lil Jesus".
#41 - On 04/15/2009 at 9:52am by rukusrazor
Realism FTW. I mean, it happens to hanged folks, why not crucifixion victims? Anyone asks you about it, you call method acting on them.
#42 - On 04/15/2009 at 9:56am by deep_friar
I call fake. Anyone who's ever been in "Jesus Christ Superstar" would know that Jesus doesn't sing a big solo when he gets crucified. He just stands there and moans Bible verses. Plus: No reason for girls to be changing backstage. There are no scenes left, and it's a fairly standard rule in theater to come out for the curtain call in your last costume.
#44 - On 04/15/2009 at 10:09am by GrammarCop
How can so many people not know of Jesus Christ Superstar? It's not a "Jesus play" in the sense that you go to church to watch it, it's a numerous Tony award winning, world touring Broadway hit. And the movie from the 70's is hilarious.
Hey Sanna, Hosanna
Hey JC, Won't you die for me?
/Jesus double take freeze frame
... wait WHAT?
#45 - On 04/15/2009 at 10:14am by Ohnoitslindsay
i'm with #44
and dude, girls were just changing
have you never seen one change before?
if they were making out as someone splashed water on them, then i wouldn't blame you
but just changing? come on, kid.
YDI. You should be paying attention to what's going on ON stage, not what's going on backstage, especially since you claim it was right before your big solo. Not to mention, watching girls change = perv.
#2 is a winner.
and yeah, you're lying, jesus doesn't sing on the cross, or anywhere near the cross. his "big solo" is the rant at god.
#48 - On 04/15/2009 at 10:46am by Rodjmeister
Jesus Christ...what? I've never heard of it before. Must've been some school play title.
And why were they changing out in the open backstage?
For everyone who doesn't believe it's a real play: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jesus_Christ_Superstar
For those calling OP a perv: get a life! Have you ever done theatre? Have you ever been a young male? Things get a little awkward.
#51- Have you ever been a young female subjected to being used as live pornography by horny young males while you're trying to go about your business? Hormones do not excuse watching girls change backstage. And it's sick that you would suggest that they do.
#53 - On 04/15/2009 at 10:58am by Ohnoitslindsay
I never saw someone change back stage in a play. I went to a really small school but we still had a few rooms where the girls could change. And like at least one person above me has said learn control. I know it's hard, but the alternative is having a situation like this on your hands. Mind over body works if you are aware of your body. I doubt you are since this happened. Oh, and since you're interested in girls.... mind over body will make you very popular. It tends to make you a better lover. But then again if you get that turned on by a brief glimps of a girl changing backstage there probably isn't much hope for you there. Be a player and get as much as you can as fast as you can because as soon as word gets around you'll get laughed at. Hmmm..... might want to consider a job where you move around a lot if you intend to keep getting laid..... Or get really good with some other body part... either way you'll be so much better off if you just learn body control.
#44 got it exactly right. Anyone who knows this musical knows how fake this comment is. Unless the "big solo" we're discussing is the aforementioned moaning. Also, try getting some self-control. If you're playing Jesus Christ, try thinking Jesus Christ-like thoughts, perhaps?
Hey, In a weird way this sounds like ( Sex Drive ) When the girl pulled the dude to the stage and he noticed the girls at the back changing and then got a hard on. While listening to that gilrs sob story...FYL!
#56 - On 04/15/2009 at 11:27am by boredomnesses
I recommend people who haven't heard of things the OP is mentioning to use google before posting something that makes you look like an idiot. Come on people you are using the internet to access FML...so use the magical internet world to find out some answers.
completely agree with #51. it does get a little awkward in theatre and is completely natural for one to get slightly aroused by seeing members of the opposite sex changing!
#59 - On 04/15/2009 at 11:35am by crescendo518
#44
They could have well been changing out of their outfits, As it was the end of the play, And for all we know with the provided information, It could have been a musical.
That is why we think before we speak.
#60 - On 04/15/2009 at 11:48am by GloomySkyz
I don't think those [women] calling this guy a perv have taken into account that this is the jizzlemonster. I mean come on... the jizzlemonster! What do you expect? He's like the Quagmire of fmylife.
#61 - On 04/15/2009 at 11:51am by jprybylski
#s 51, 59
What the hell are you talking about? Sometimes it gets downright fucking awkward in theatre. Especially when you walk into a room you expect to be empty during a show...
HAHAHAHAHAHA #1!!!!!!!!! excellent
Jesus would have been proud. c'mon like mary magdalene never gave him a blood rush down there...
#63 - On 04/15/2009 at 12:16pm by m0nicam0nster
ps ppl look up the play....
it has one of the most famous songs from all time in it....
"Jesus Christ, Superstar! Do you think you're what you say you are?!"
soooo good (really excellent music)
#64 - On 04/15/2009 at 12:18pm by m0nicam0nster
#44: Spot on. Though... maybe he meant 'big solo' as the crucifixion? LOL, okay, probably not. XD But I tried.
Side Note: I fucking LOVE JCSS. The movie is pure win and the music rocks my socks.
#60: wtf are you talking about? it IS a musical... that's what #44 was talking about. Jesus doesn't have a "BIG SOLO" as he's getting crucified. That was the point. Maybe YOU should think before you 'speak.'
#16 - yes, it's a good idea to know about important events that occurred in the past. The world didn't begin when you were born.
Jesus Christ Superstar is a VERY famous play, btw.
To the OP: YDI for perving out on your castmates. If you can't handle seeing them change, DON'T LOOK AT THEM while they're changing.
#16 It was a play before it was a movie, and it's extremely famous.
OP, I'm calling fake. Jesus has no solo at the time of the crucifixion, or anywhere near it, for that matter. And when changing from one costume to another in theatre, you would never get undressed enough to make anyone older than 9-years old interested in what's going on.
#73 - On 04/15/2009 at 1:03pm by greatghost
Hahaha when I read this I automatically thought it was my friend Zack cause he's playing Jesus in a play but I don't think it was JCSS, but who knows
;]
#74 - On 04/15/2009 at 1:04pm by topshoprincess
Poor Jesus spent his life blue-balled, forgive him for being a little horny ;)
#75 - On 04/15/2009 at 1:08pm by Austen_Addict27
comeon #6, Jesus Christ Superstar isn't a typical 'Jesus play' ... it was even banned in parts of the US because it was deemed sacrilegious.
It's just awesome hippie 70s music following a stylized account of Jesus' death ... it had Jesus acting like a dick at times, it had him arguing with god, and showed his disgust at the cult of personality that was developing around him.
It's just great entertainment/music ... The 1973 movie was awesomely cheesy too.
Ok #2 is hilarious.
If this is real this is the most hilarious thing Ive read on this site....pure gold.
And the people that dont know about the play...really? Even if you dont know anything about plays or arent religious thats still no excuse for never hearing about and extremely popular play. Ive never seen it but I at least know it exists. It would be like not knowing the Phantom of the Opera or Chicago. Turn off your Britney Spears and TMZ for a minute and maybe you'll sound a little less silly.
Sweetie... I know we're supposed to be respectful and everything, but that is just DAMN FUNNY!!
Sorry btw :(
:D
ahahahahaha. I know there are some people who find Jesus attractive, so maybe you'll get something out of it. unless you have a small penis. Then you're fucked. Well, not literally.
#80 - On 04/15/2009 at 1:34pm by ibanezelixir
Loveee JCS!! But I completely agree with #44. There is no big solo on the cross, and even if you were somehow just referring to your "big moment," you shouldn't be watching people change backstage anyway! I also find it hard to believe that if you are at all used to doing theatre, you would still become aroused enough to get a full-on boner just from seeing a couple of girls change. Its pretty common and rarely very sexy.
#83 - On 04/15/2009 at 1:43pm by lnm701
#2, You haven't heard of Jesus Christ Superstar?? WOW...like someone else said, get out from under your rock! It's a famous musical that's been on Broadway for YEARS! I just saw in in January, but had listened to the music for several years.
Maybe if you got off the internet, you'd be a little more cultured. ;-)
but jesus does get an erection when he's crucified, right? And all those who don't know Jesus Christ Superstar are lucky.
#86 - On 04/15/2009 at 2:00pm by mikeysnakes
As has been pointed out, this is fake. Or at least extremely exaggerated, as the scene that the OP refers to doesn't exist. It is also a scene from multiple movies. I don't understand the appeal of posting fake FMLs. OP, do you get inappropriately hard when you see "jizzlemonster13" on the FML website too?
#88 - On 04/15/2009 at 2:05pm by Ohnoitslindsay
Hahaha #2 - Gold
Seriously tho this is awesome. I just feel sorry for all the little kids seeing Jesus' wang. They ain't gonna think of religion the same!
That reminds me of the movie Sex Drive when the guy gets hard on the stage. That must suck. I feel sorry for you dude.
Oh damn! That sucks for you. Try to keep your eyes away from that kind of stuff when you're dealing with acting, an in important role.
#94 - On 04/15/2009 at 3:25pm by LysssNysss
it would've been funny if nomeone said "Jesus Christ Look He Has Risen But not how we planned" ^_____________________^
hahaha
i do theater and the techies (sometimes band) are usually the ones that just sit there and like stare at you when change. but the actors on stage really should not be looking in the wings. YDI
and ive heard of jesus christ superstar, never seen it, and isnt it a musical (maybe not just thought it was)
#101 - On 04/15/2009 at 4:35pm by dancin303
44s right, unless of course the people changing had multiple costumes, and were changing into the costume of their biggest role for curtain call.
I call it a fake.
#106 - On 04/15/2009 at 5:23pm by nirvanafreak
I don't know any sort of details about the play itself, but I smell a fake nonetheless. If you're a good enough actor to have gotten such a huge part, it doesn't seem very likely that you'd be so easily distracted at such a crucial point.
But I'll give OP the benefit of the doubt and rate it FYL anyway...
#107 - On 04/15/2009 at 5:30pm by l33tm0nk3y
#44-By solo he couldve meant saying his big lines or being crucified.
This is awkward to the extreme, but why didn't you think of something really unsexy like mold or buffaloes or bread pudding? (look, I don't know, that's what comes to mind)
#44 - you're an idiot. Solo could mean his big lines while being crucified. The girls could be changing into their regular clothes since the play was over.
#109 - On 04/15/2009 at 5:48pm by LysssNysss
Every time I've been in a play, there's just one room backstage and everybody changes in it. It's almost impossible not to see people changing, not that anyone is completely naked or anything, but if you have a costume change, we just whip off our clothes in the middle of the room and put on the new ones, it doesn't matter who is around. Not that people are looking per se, but they see you anyway.
#44- that was an ultimate pwnage right there. AND you are absolutely right =] i couldn't have said it better myself! hahaha
#116 - On 04/15/2009 at 7:24pm by xXmoses_rocksXx
@ #115: If you're going to go off on a rant, at least try fact checking before you open your mouth.
The phrase "Under God" was only added to the Pledge in 1954, because Americans wanted to make themselves distinct from the "Godless Communists." And no, having the 10 Commandments in a court of law does not make us a theocracy, but it does represent a favoring of one religion over another, which isn't fair to people of other faiths, especially with regard to something so important as the rule of law.
Don't forget that though the 10 Commandments may be a good idea to follow, only 2 of them are actual laws (though shalt not kill and though shalt not steal). Maybe 2 and a half if you take into account being under oath with "Though shalt not bear false witness."
And just to point out, the whole "We're a Christian nation" thing is a myth. The vast majority of the founding fathers were Deists, which means that they did believe in God, but they did not subscribe to the organized Judeo-Christian religions. They believe in a God of the natural world, and reject superstitions and "miracles," which includes Jesus Christ.
As for having the play in the school... how do you know it wasn't a Catholic school?
TL;DR - Chill out man, seriously.
And to the FML: You deserved it for peeking.. but I can understand the temptation to do so :P
What school do you go to? You performed Jesus Christ Superstar? If my child attended that school I would fight til the end to make sure the drama department wouldn't display such garbage in our community.
Second, if you are playing Jesus, try a little more to BEHAVE LIKE JESUS!!! Jesus would never watch girls changing back stage. Way to get into character. Idiot.
88, and anyone else saying there's no big part on the cross... um, that's where he dies.... he says things there... you know, it's near the end. ? "Oh god why have you forsaken me?" ringing any bells?
#125 - On 04/15/2009 at 9:53pm by hellohellohellno
#115 Shut the H E double toothpicks up. The seperation of church and state comes from a letter from a founding father. (the exact one escapes me) where he said to his church who was worried about a state religion that "there shall be a wall of seperation between the state and the church" I believe this is the exact quote though I could be wrong so don't chap my a$$ if I am. And #115 there are a lot of things true in what you say, but you need to have your facts 100% before embarking on this sort of statement. You've made all of us who might agree with you look like jackasses and lost us ground with those who don't know who to side with. Please for the sake of God never Never NEVER comment on gun control abortion contraception Evolution or anything else like them again. They also serve who simply shut their dumbass mouths.
#115 Shut the H E double toothpicks up. The seperation of church and state comes from a letter from a founding father. (the exact one escapes me) where he said to his church who was worried about a state religion that "there shall be a wall of seperation between the state and the church" I believe this is the exact quote though I could be wrong so don't chap my a$$ if I am. And #115 there are a lot of things true in what you say, but you need to have your facts 100% before embarking on this sort of statement. You've made all of us who might agree with you look like jackasses and lost us ground with those who don't know who to side with. Please for the sake of God never Never NEVER comment on gun control abortion contraception Evolution or anything else like them again. They also serve who simply shut their dumbass mouths.
I find it very hard to believe that that's all they had you wear....
also.
"Suddenly it's unconstitutional to have a non-specific, general "under God" in the pledge of allegiance, but it's OK to have a very specific play on Christianity in school- one where they make fun of it by associating him as a "superstar", and where the person playing Jesus is of bad moral character and looks at girls changing and gets boners during crucial performances.
As for the "under god" in the plegde... it has been there for a century at least... if it was so "unconstitutional", then how the hell did it GET there in the FIRST place??!? Oh, I KNOW- because its NOT unconstitutional!"
I agree with the first part.
However, we can't base current morals on morals of the past, especially early America...
when they had slaves.
#131 - On 04/15/2009 at 11:19pm by iamtenyearsago
#32 - very true
#38- you make a good question... or interesting one
#132 - On 04/15/2009 at 11:37pm by Why_Do_I_Do_This
#44 - actually, its a standard rule to come out during the curtain call in the costume for the biggest part you had, not in your last costume, unless you don't have time to change.
Wow. The pledge rant, really? The whole affair pissed you off so much you thought you'd go bitch about it on a FML instead of doing something productive while it was occurring in court?
#53, congratulations! you're an idiot. ".. used as live female pornography.." ?? get off the internet, feminist POS and go bake something.
#136 - On 04/16/2009 at 1:04am by bewarethesloth
Gives a whole new meaning to what would Jesus do.....
How has no one else said that yet? Lol
#139 - On 04/16/2009 at 1:55am by AllieCat999
Wow. Jesus is a perv.
#2 & #10. LOL.
For those of you who have no idea what Jesus Christ Superstar is, It's a webber/rice rock opera about the last 7 days of the life of jesus christ much of which is told through the eyes of judas.
#141 - On 04/16/2009 at 2:09am by YouDontSeeMe
these are some sick comments. but i think this is pretty funny. #139, that's excellent. well done
#142 - On 04/16/2009 at 2:43am by ItsNotTheTime
THE SAME THING HAPPENED IN MY EIGHTH GRADE STATIONS OF THE CROSS.
THE GUY GOT A TOTAL BONER! lmao.
#143 - On 04/16/2009 at 9:36am by s_babyyyx3
Scientifically, Christ may have had an erection at the time of death (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Death_erection)... so I'd say you did quite well.
kinda reminds me of what happened in
the movie "sex drive" . haha, i feel sorry for you. :)
#151 - On 04/16/2009 at 11:42pm by clarababiii_90
every guy in a play knows not to ever look over to where the girls are dressing.
because you will get it.
you definately got it.
#153 - On 04/17/2009 at 1:20am by venzlnchika
Absolute bs! Are you saying that those girls are too stupid to notice that there's an opening on the side of the curtain where people on stage can see? And was there no one else backstage? Nice lie.
#154 - On 04/17/2009 at 1:26am by helloproto12
Lol, it's not like you can control a boner. it just happens
#159 - On 04/17/2009 at 6:59pm by RandomFool
what type of school does a play with a chacter wearing nothing but a little cloth? is it a college or something? anywho, that's pretty funny
hahahahahahaha. sorry but that's really funny. how ironic. oh well, not like you can control it. i hope the show went well otherwise...
#162 - On 04/17/2009 at 11:15pm by anonymousssss
i find it kind of ironic how there's an advertisement for the "christian network" on the side of the page
and hahahaha #10!! AMAZING
#165 - On 04/18/2009 at 4:38pm by Newtons_Cradle
Only a chick or a dude telling a horrible lie would say that is his own fault
#167 - On 04/19/2009 at 9:11am by Big_Will89
#69
Music teachers sometimes improvise within a play to add more to the musical. Obviously it was a time extender or something. You weren't there, You dont know if he had a big solo or not.
#169 - On 04/19/2009 at 1:20pm by GloomySkyz
This isn't a bad thing at all. It just guarentees that your straight.
Whoever says "shame on you," back off!
This boy Is the messiah!!
This isn't a FML story at all. unless your a bit smaller then most :|
MeSsIaH!~
#170 - On 04/19/2009 at 10:09pm by Cory_m32
Bahaha would have been better if one of the other actors improved hammering in the nail that was sticking out!
#172 - On 04/21/2009 at 3:38pm by noloveallpain
Wooooooooooooooooooooooo! Nice :) That's classic.
You are still the messiah!
Good job little buddy
#174 - On 04/22/2009 at 11:00pm by Cory_m32
LMFAOOOOO I have been laughing like crazy with all these comments!!! How the hell DID the pledge get in this???? But also, guys just because you know about Jesus Christ Superstar doesn't mean everyone else does. Just like with every other popular thing, there is always someone (or some people) who aren't aware of that certain thing, so chill out. And another thing people, don't be so rude with others. You don't have to curse them out or insult them because you don't agree. That only makes you look stupid and immature. AND, don't call it fake no matter how fake it may be, you're only ruining the website for everyone else. It doesn't say anywhere that the stories have to be real.
Anyway, funny as hell!!!!!!!!!!!! Jesus!!!!!!! He has risen indeed!!!!!!! or more specifically, his little buddy has risen (and Jesus will follow in a few days) lmao.
I have enjoyed myself reading all of these comments. The internet sure has a lot of funny people lol.
OP: Dude, you need to be more respectful towards women and their privacy. But since you slipped already, I don't blame you for getting aroused. It happens to many people. Just don't let it happen again. Next time, they might actually crucify you and they might even nail your penis to the cross. I'm serious. If it's one thing men need to learn in life, it's to fear women. They are very capable of doing what you wouldn't expect. Underestimating a woman is one of the deadliest mistakes a man can make in life.
WOMEN ARE SCARY CREATURES
I've done something like the first half of this on accident. For our musical, we had a lot of girls and very few guys, as one might expect. So, in the green room, most of the girls are changing, and I, trying to be a gentlemen, try to look away. Not as easy as it sounds when there are girls all over the room changing, and mirrors all along one wall.
Then it happened again opening night. We had four girls who had to make several costume changes, so they just left their stuff backstage. I was standing next to our stage manager, reading over the script as it was being acted out. Suddenly, I hear a clattering sound, and I turn to see what it is, not realizing that these girls are changing. So my thoughts went something like this: "What the hell was tha- Oh. Turn around."
In closing, FYL. That sucks hardCORE, I feel your pain. Sorry for totally ranting about my life that no one gives two shits about. =P
#178 - On 04/26/2009 at 1:27am by kirbyviper93
i'm going to hell for saying this but, that is sooo money!!!
#180 - On 05/02/2009 at 11:39pm by dizzle_doneski
LOL,that was good.. at least your a real superstar after that. XD
#181 - On 05/03/2009 at 5:56am by SilenceOfTheLamb
Worst FML I've seen.
Today, I had to clench and frown to keep myself from laughing. I don't know what makes me laugh - maybe some Satanic influence? But I'm a Mormon so I feel so sore from even ALMOST laughing at that! FML
#182 - On 05/06/2009 at 10:25pm by egaonogenki
The OP clearly knows very little about the play he supposedly starred in. Nice try.
#183 - On 05/11/2009 at 3:36am by christopherlove
We did Jesus Christ Superstar in my old school. I was a disciple. I just stood there saying "Praise the lord" lmao x
#188 - On 05/23/2009 at 11:40am by OkieDokie_x
Well...technically sometimes guys do get erections when they die so you could say you were just acting really really well...
#190 - On 06/03/2009 at 2:45am by daarlingdamsel
this was stolen from the movie Sex Drive...in that movie, a guy is onstage at an "Abstinence Rocks" play, and while a woman next to him was talking about how she was raped, he looked to the side and saw girls from the play undressing, and got a hard on in front of everyone.
#191 - On 06/04/2009 at 3:50pm by expen_dable
hey jeff,
i definitely saw the show that night. i knew something was up.
haha the whole school will know monday because of the sign i have posted in the caf saying "Jeff, good job at getting hard in front of the whole school in a loincloth"
thanks for making my life,
btw, great job in the play
#193 - On 06/06/2009 at 7:23pm by skylinespartans
I wonder if this would be considered blasphemy....lol
Niice job though. ^_^
#199 - On 07/16/2009 at 9:13pm by KelsyKatastrophe
