Today, my girlfriend and I had sex for the first time. When I was on top of her, she asked me if it was in yet. I said yes. She sighed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (101891) - you totally deserved it (15482)
On 02/17/2009 at 6:00pm - intimacy - by ramenluver (man) - United States (California)
um dude, hate to break it to you but your girlfriend is BEAT
#4 - On 02/17/2009 at 7:15pm by Mr_Serious
Its not about the size of ur boat, but the motion of the ocean.... Im not sure if that is true or not but if you keep saying it to yourself you mite start to feel better...
P.S. Hahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!! SHE SIGHED!!!! XD
that is a tiny little problem....if you dont have the size look for experience...read about it or just hook up with an older woman
(porno help too)
You said it - it's the FIRST TIME. It's a big mental hurdle to get over, and also there are (believe it or not) different physical things people can do about it. I know someone who's quite sexual (not promiscuous, there's a difference) , and she and her then bf actually failed the first time they tried to have sex. Don't think your life is over. If you must try again though, use a condom, spermacidal gel and water (NOT OIL, that damages the condom)based lubricants, and get her to use birth control pills.
#10 - On 02/17/2009 at 8:05pm by AJ
#5 your right its not the size of the boat, its the motion of the ocean, but it takes a LONG time to get to england in a row boat!
I think she was possibly drunk or otherwise intoxicated, or she was using that numbing lube, or she has no feeling in her vagina... I can always feel when he's in there.
Try not to worry about it, try a different position, I have a hard time on the bottom, and the size of my man has never been the problem.
#14 - On 02/17/2009 at 8:47pm by lu946
Hate to break it to yah bud I think she's very experienced in sex and that's why she's worn out over time and people don't feel bad
#11, why the FUCK would having sex be tantamount to getting to England? What if you already live in England? That expression makes no sense and should be abandoned in a Siberian forest.
#20 - On 02/17/2009 at 10:03pm by Anonymous
maybe she gasped. being penetrated for the first time was a big moment for her, i'm sure. don't be hard on yourself
#21 - On 02/17/2009 at 10:03pm by someguy
#20, your retort is a fail more epic than trying to invade Russia in winter.
Now, Stick that in your pipe and smoke it. Sir.
#22 - On 02/17/2009 at 10:12pm by deeznutzismine
I've had that happen.
Except I was the one asking if it was in yet.
It would suck to be your girlfriend.
#23 - On 02/17/2009 at 10:28pm by Iz.
Have you seen the size of objects some women allow to be put in them?....Size definitely matters....the tighter the better. It's reality it's relative, but it sounds like you have a hell of a lot to learn.
#24 - On 02/17/2009 at 10:34pm by truth
Try a different position. If size is an issue, you may not be able to perform well for certain positions like doggy style (especially if she has some junk in her trunk).
If size is important to her, regardless of the position, then you may consider finding a partner who isn't.... 'so experienced'.
Don't let it get ya down, man. Practice makes perfect.
#25 - On 02/17/2009 at 11:19pm by FeelinPo
it's not your girlfriend's fault you have a small penis... watch the sex and the city episode where this happens to samantha. don't expect her to be excited you're tiny
#26 - On 02/17/2009 at 11:22pm by your fault...
Next time tell her "even a Boeing 747 would look small flying into the grand canyon."
#27 - On 02/17/2009 at 11:30pm by Murdock7x4
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TfHqv8YAA9w&feature=related
its the big vagina. watch it and learn
#28 - On 02/18/2009 at 12:03am by huge vagsicle
No matter how tiny you are... just slip it in her ass. She'll feel that, and you should as well. Even a needle-dick should be able to make some impression. If you're still stirring up air... go find yourself an asian, it's no use.
Not your fault. However! It may be because you have a small one, or she has a realllllly big hole. Don't get too down if you think the latter is possible!
People. Vaginas are highly elastic and can clamp around objects of a wide range of sizes. You do not get "worn out" from having a lot of sex; on the contrary, if anything, it could make your muscles stronger. Porn mags and abstinence-only sex education are not good sources for sexual information; if you're young, try scarleteen dot com.
#35 - On 02/18/2009 at 8:08am by C!
"Maybe I could get it all the way in if you lost some weight, you fat arse"
#36 - On 02/18/2009 at 9:43am by arms_akimbo
use fingers together with your member!
that makes your man bigger..=D
#42 - On 02/19/2009 at 3:40am by soomightymeaty
I'm afraid your girlfriend is a slut...
Can she sit on a bar stool?
#48 - On 02/20/2009 at 2:55am by anon
Size doesn't matter, unless you're by yourself, then it does. A girl can't really do much with two hands. But with a guy, size doesn't matter, because he's got his whole body do to whatever he needs to do to make sure that she feels good. If that makes sense? :P
#49 - On 02/21/2009 at 3:48am by kels.
next time a girl asks you that, say "no it isnt" then ram it in there. she should feel it then.
#50 - On 02/21/2009 at 1:28pm by B.
Well geez, if she's not paying that much attention, next time put a giant pickle in there and see if she notices...jerk- even though it may be small, its ruins the mood when you just go out there and say it like that...
#56 - On 02/22/2009 at 12:48am by CanadAssassiN
Maybe she's just so experienced that it's WIDE open now. So open she can't feel a thing. I knew a promiscuous girl and some of the guys she slept with. They said hers was so gaping wide that they couldn't feel when they went into her.
ps - my first time was a failure too. Don't panic
#58 - On 02/23/2009 at 8:55pm by life_is_good_
"#11, why the FUCK would having sex be tantamount to getting to England? What if you already live in England? That expression makes no sense and should be abandoned in a Siberian forest."
what if you already LIVE in siberia? in a forest! That expression makes no sense and should be tossed down a peruvian well.
#61 - On 02/25/2009 at 4:42pm by drunkrabbit22
ummm your girl must have an elephant cunt. Im pretty sure most every girl can feel even a pinky finger inside them, especially if they are even somewhat aroused. Her tampon is an entire roll of bounty, inserted sideways!
#63 - On 02/26/2009 at 4:09pm by cloud
Next time reply with: I don't know I can't find the opening. After she gives you a WTF face, put it in the butt. If she still can't feel it you might want to get a sex change
#67 - On 03/01/2009 at 2:03am by ADA
Well...when you say 'first time' do you mean first time as a couple, or first time in general? The first time I had sex, I didn't know if he was in either because he didn't go in all the way because he didn't want to hurt me. Maybe similar happened in your case?
hey, look on the bright side. maybe she's just loose from all the random guys she's sexed
or maybe you just have a tiny penis. loser.
#70 - On 03/04/2009 at 7:44pm by tifferneelee
Give the guy a break people.
Often guys fall flat on their face the first time they have sex (thats the majority actually).
Very few come through like a champ/stud/etc whatever you name it.
I wouldn't worry about it too much man.
Just try switching up the positions a little bit.
The best way is for her to get on top and you on the bottom that way she can direct it and itll go where she wants it to go.
Dude just let it roll off and keep trying.
sounds like someone had there legs spread a little to much.
Ever think shes just too loose.
I wouldn't worry about it on your part
She sighed! OMG. I'm sorry but that is so funny. She sighed. She sighed! LMAO.
What a BURN!!!!
#75 - On 03/10/2009 at 7:21pm by AMelodyofJuly
hahaha this happened to my ex and i! the exact same thing... i'm very sorry, dude.
#77 - On 03/11/2009 at 9:36pm by browneyedbeauty
honestly either this is fake or she was already having sex and lied to you cause she would of felt it as a virgin unless you were smaller then a pinky finger lol.
#81 - On 03/16/2009 at 8:24am by dontyouknow
Wow... what a bitch. I'd probably proceed to show her what multiple orgasms do to a female body. ...Well, I'd do that anyway, but that's beside the point. I'll take my non-mini package and be on my way.
#82 - On 03/16/2009 at 10:10pm by podrummer9209
you should have told her to do some "tightening" exercises ;)
#85 - On 03/19/2009 at 4:17pm by mercuryyyy
It's not the size of the boat, but rather the motion of the ocean that matters, but you sure as hell can't sail across the Atlantic in a row-boat.
Don't worry bout it buddy, even if it's one of the funniest things I've ever read.
First and only time I've ever had sex and I got blue balled.
this is one of those things you watch on a horrible teen movie or something
that sucks tho
#93 - On 04/03/2009 at 3:14pm by yumyum_isacult
Man, thats a slap in the face. Any chick who pulls that should be dumped on the spot. Go bang another chick and have her say something to her friends around that bitch so she realizes she missed out. Lol or just get enhancement pills. One or the other.
damn sux, my first time she told me " please tell me its all the way in" and i said " sorry its only half way in"
Tell her to look up 'kegel exercises.' That should help some.
#100 - On 04/22/2009 at 3:09pm by simplewhimsy
lol #7
don't worry, she was probably a major slut and had so much stuff shoved in there that you could fist her and she wouldn't notice.
#102 - On 05/09/2009 at 11:58pm by erkdoc
dude, if it makes you feel better, missionary isn't the best position... try having her get ontop, its a better angle...
personally i'd rather be with a guy who's a little on the small side, they work harder and make up for it with foreplay...
ps. your girlfriend is a really big bitch, it was horrible of her to undermine you like that
#103 - On 05/10/2009 at 5:26pm by ertw
wow your girlfriend is a pretty big bitch for doing that.
if you still feel like having sex with her at this point ( and i'm not sure that I would) then try having her be ontop its a better angle so you'll be able to get in deeper, prop a pillow under your ass during, that helps too.
and i don't know if it makes you feel better, but id rather sleep with a guy with a dick on the smaller size, they tend to try harder and invest in foreplay. because without foreplay thers a good chance your gf wont come no matter how big your dick is.
and unless your smaller than 6 inches then your still average and your girl is a slut
#104 - On 05/10/2009 at 5:36pm by ertw
dude punch her in the snatch an if ur arm disappears its her fault her vaginas like a clowns pocket.
#105 - On 05/16/2009 at 6:17am by tjjonny2000
she might be loose lol!!!! try squeezing some lemons down there, might help tighten her up!
#108 - On 05/31/2009 at 5:24am by sexiaznman
You need to drop her! She is well used if she made that comment! What you should have said was something like ' Well, I wasn't aware that I was bringing a bat to a pro baseball statium!"
haha! i did the same thing to my bf! idky but i couldn't feel it... after we did it again it worked though :)
#111 - On 06/03/2009 at 8:02pm by violentfemme222
(p.s. it doesn't mean she has a big vagina. my vag is the tightest thing in the world and i couldn't feel it for some reason. i think its just because she was nervous)
#112 - On 06/03/2009 at 8:05pm by violentfemme222
i think that's more of an insult to her than you. couldn't feel something at least as big as her finger? what the hell has she been shoving in there? elephant cocks?
Either you're little or she's loose. Or both.
But that still suckssss. Sorry.
#114 - On 06/04/2009 at 6:38pm by AnnerNanner
LMFAO!
I'm Sorry Tht was uncalled for.
Buut, Really?
Lmao #90 really? i've done tht to a guy b4 :P ... turns out he's my cuzin now :P
#116 - On 06/09/2009 at 10:26pm by T_TILY
#90, blue balling a guy is the funniest thing. My ex would have done anything for me to finish it. And don't worry, that shit happens, time to find a new girl or get some alternatives(:
ODEEZY blazers all the waayyy odens a beastt to bad he's hurt
#130 - On 01/17/2010 at 12:18pm by broy7formvp
