Today, I was completely wasted at my bachelor party, and my friends thought it would be funny to put sodium nitrate on my penis. Sodium nitrate makes your skin dark purple for a couple of weeks. My wedding is next week and my fiancee has never seen me naked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47204) - you totally deserved it (11502)
On 07/02/2009 at 2:32am - intimacy - by purpledick (man) - Mexico (Nuevo Leon)
If you're so wasted that you can't tell if people are putting a chemical compound on your ding dong, then you probably deserve it.
Although, that really sucks.
he said it was his bachelor's party, which in my experience is the drunkest people get in their lives. the couple of bachelor parties i've been to, it is the ultimate goal to not have the soon-to-be groom remember a thing.
#23 - On 07/02/2009 at 10:23am by toomuchinfamaysh
lmao... ding dong. what are you? 8? anyway sucks for you OP :( if my dick were purple id sign up for the oompaloompa club or something... FYL ofc
#29 - On 07/02/2009 at 10:31am by fuckmahlife
Kudos to not committing fornication. However, had you just gone one step further and avoided getting drunk, you'd have been totally ok :(
Oh well.
#1 You are a loser for doing drugs (alcohol is a drug). Only losers need drugs to have fun.
#2 Your friends are gay for playing with your penis.
Wow...
1.) What does your loser ass do then?
2.) Drinking can also be a cultural thing, asshole. People have been drinking for centuries.
3.) How do you know he's an alcoholic? Not everyone abuses that "drug" the way you're implying.
4.) Drinkers don't get drunk to have fun, they drink to IMPROVE the fun they're already having.
People have been performing incest for centuries too. And if you think that drinking is the only thing to do, you, my friends are the asshole and the loser.
#156 - On 07/02/2009 at 6:36pm by Chfanfiction
no one thinks your cool for being straight edge, you only live life once, why lead half a life by not experimenting with things thats were on earth for our consuption be it ingested or smoked,
in other words get yourself a beer sit down and be quiet,
amen brother. You live life once, so HAVE THE BEST FUCKING TIME OF YOUR LIFE :D
#172 - On 07/02/2009 at 7:50pm by fmlAllStar7274
Sodium nitrate doesn't hurt, so if he was passed out, or asleep, he wouldn't even know. . . Anyways, to the poster: I've used that in lab, and spilled some on my hand before. It doesn't stay on for weeks, it should be gone in a week at most, so hopefully it'll be gone before your wedding night.
#191 - On 07/02/2009 at 11:49pm by redoleander
I never said it's good to do because we've been doing it for centuries. The families that were involved in incest eventually died out, so your example is invalid. What I said was it's a CULTURAL thing. Incest never was, except within families. I also never said I need to constantly be drunk. I know how to have fun without being drunk; alcohol tastes good. Why do you eat chocolate? Cuz it tastes good and you enjoy consuming it. Alcohol is the same, just has a few "side effects." ;D
Or even better, she might think he has gangrene or has been beating himself about the groin so hard that he bruised the whole thing.
Some friends though. I recommend you trade them in for some that aren't assholes.
Okay, granted. still, just because you guys like losing control of yourselves and making an ass of yourselves, doesn't mean everyone does. And how could nature "intend" for wheat or barley to be fermented, mixed in an INCREDIBLY complex procedure, distilled, and drank? Or how could it intend for you to kill a tree, make paper through another complex process, roll it, and light it with fire to inhale the fumes? I don't think nature intended goddamn anything.
#240 - On 07/03/2009 at 6:18pm by Chfanfiction
it's not that fun to just sit and drink beer..i once did that once and all i did was go on yahoo answers and ask dumb questions..then when i went back a day later, i realized i misspelled all of the words and mixed up the sentence structure..wooh..that's really living up my life
#242 - On 07/03/2009 at 6:59pm by hugzandkisses666
LOVE gunther haha jk but he's so amazing. just look at a picture of him sometime!
#249 - On 07/03/2009 at 11:45pm by sammisamantha
Sodium nitrate is a chemical used in rocket propellant. Silver nitrate is what dyes your skin. If you were actually using it in a lab, you would know this.
#256 - On 07/04/2009 at 2:44pm by GabrielScott
I think if someone wants to drink and do drugs, that's their choice, but everyone who thinks I'M (or anyone else is) stupid because I don't want to? That's just fucking stupid. I don't do them because my family has a strong history of mental health issues and I have no reason to want to tempt that fate by offering up partial control of my mind to something else. Sorry I don't want to end up in a mental hospital so I can be uber cool like you.
Oh, and you must be really self-absorbed if you think everything on this planet was put here for you (humanity in general).
#258 - On 07/04/2009 at 7:59pm by KerlyFries
@240
Of course nature never intended anything, nature is just a chain of random events added to our intelligence.
But. You only live once, and live in the moment. Sure, I work and run and keep fit and all that crap, but enjoy life. Really. Just try it.
#270 - On 07/07/2009 at 7:34am by SenorLanky
Maybe your future term of endearment nickname from your wife will be Mr. Eggplant. LOL
You could always do it in the dark until the purple fades. :-)
#4 - On 07/02/2009 at 10:05am by Thisnametaken
how could you get married to them and not seem them naked, that could cause some serious issues! lol ;o
#6 - On 07/02/2009 at 10:07am by ForgottenHero69
Some people do not believe in pre-marital sex. You may believe so, but you don't need to thrust your beliefs into other people's faces, insisting that you must be right.
#89 - On 07/02/2009 at 12:46pm by soccergirl37
I agree, waiting for marriage to have sex is utterly retarded. Not being compatible in the bedroom can destroy an otherwise healthy relationship.
YDI for believing in that romanticized bullshit.
Okay people, why is this buried? All that she's saying is not to push one's beliefs on another, and that's usually the response our side gives to hers. Seriously.
#135 - On 07/02/2009 at 3:35pm by regalarius
Although I don't believe in celibacy and whatnot, if people believe in it - either for religious reasons or because they think the wedding night will be most special - they have that right.
Universal Declaration of Human Rights baby.
#271 - On 07/07/2009 at 7:39am by SenorLanky
Hopefully she is a Watchmen fan, then she will think your Mr.Manhattan in slight disguise
#7 - On 07/02/2009 at 10:07am by fuzzybrownbear
That's why they said "in slight disguise." You are now the fail.
#195 - On 07/03/2009 at 12:07am by uscscreenwriter
Lol. Thats funny. Id be woot! if my bf had his dick purple! and then hot amazing sex....
#107 - On 07/02/2009 at 1:43pm by SweetTea90
Are you sure it wasn't silver nitrate?
One guy I knew tried to give himself a 'tattoo' with that stuff.
Good call. OP, silver nitrate stains skin purple; you're lucky you didn't get your dick burned when they did it.
#67 - On 07/02/2009 at 11:40am by greatnt249
He might have meant silver nitrate, but from what I've heard, the reaction doesn't take place until exposure to direct sunlight, and if that's the case, when did he expose his junk to the sun? Maybe they used a UV light? Oh well, don't expect the guy to know exactly what they did to him when he was wasted.
i tried to give myself a tatoo with silver nitrate...good idea
#168 - On 07/02/2009 at 7:32pm by buffridgetx
Silver nitrate is black/brown. But it does show up without UV light.
But then, sodium nitrate is white. Purple, I think, would be more likely to be something with iodine.
#213 - On 07/03/2009 at 1:50am by plethora
That's sort of what I thought. Silver Nitrate stains your skin purple, not Sodium. And it comes off in a few days, tops.
#229 - On 07/03/2009 at 7:55am by imajinethat
good idea! im trying to buy sodium nitrate. is it safe or does it burn or anything?
#13 - On 07/02/2009 at 10:11am by orangerocker26
what were you friends doing playing with your penis anyway? that's kind of strange...
#14 - On 07/02/2009 at 10:13am by tarpack1984
lol thats what i thought... maybe this is an FtheirL b/c they like playing with dicks??
#130 - On 07/02/2009 at 3:22pm by damnthatsuck
since when does sodium nitrate make anything purple??? i hope u mean patassium permanganate... which makes EVERYTHING purple if mixed with the smallest amounts of humidity...
YDI for 1) getting so drunk you got purple'd by your friends and 2) not sleeping with your girlfriend sooner.
Seriously, especially 2 is an epic fail with massive amounts of failed marriage potential.
#20 - On 07/02/2009 at 10:20am by my_fml_account
I was going to say something similar. YDI for marrying someone who's never even seen you naked let alone had sex with you, and YDI for being friends with the kind of people who fuck with you at your own bachelor party.
exactly. religious or not, saving "it" for marriage or not, she should've seen you naked, and vice versa. you're obviously not THAT religious if you get shitfaced with the bros and let them play with your penis.
#35 - On 07/02/2009 at 10:35am by heyyou1203
Good heavens; it's one thing to wallow in sin; but when you yell at others for actually following God's laws... that's just a new low. I am going to laugh at all of you who are in hell, even though I might be going there too.
It's not easy getting to heaven; but at least I can sleep a little happier knowing I've got a much better shot than most of you.
I'd rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints... the sinners are much more fun....
#157 - On 07/02/2009 at 6:40pm by heyyou1203
i agree you can wait for marriage to have sex but she should have seen naked... YDI
#42 - On 07/02/2009 at 10:57am by fyourlife33
Why the hell would people see each other naked if they weren't going to have sex? Aside from not making any freaking sense, if they're trying to abstain, wouldn't that increase the temptation?
#196 - On 07/03/2009 at 12:10am by uscscreenwriter
I call shenanigans. Sodium nitrate does not turn anything purple. If it's concentrated enough to do anything to your penis then it's at a toxic level.
http://www.jtbaker.com/msds/englishhtml/s4466.htm
#26 - On 07/02/2009 at 10:29am by popemichael
It's possible they just don't know the name of what was used. Someone mentioned the name of a chemical that does turn the skin purple - it's just a slip up on the OP's part, most likely.
#188 - On 07/02/2009 at 11:31pm by BLNovelist
For gods sake. Firstly, if you're marrying the girl then just talk it out with her and I'm sure she'll understand if she has a sense of humour.
Secondly, having sex for the first time on your wedding night is a stupid idea that has no place in modern culture. Things are not the same.
How retarded are you? A lot of people still beleive in, and abide by, traditions that include no sex before marriage. You're a complete insensitive jerk and an uneducated fool for presuming that the 'modern' culture encompasses giving up religious and traditional values that were once (and sadly no longer) the norm. And before you jump to conclusions, I'm not some old fart who misses the old days. I'm a 20 year old girl who believes in these values and I applaud OP and his fiance for doing the same. Just because the norm today is being loose doesn't mean it's a culture that everyone follows. Just as you aren't judged by people for jumping in the sack with whoever you want, you shouldn't be judging people who are upholding their morals - something you obviously need more of.
#38 - On 07/02/2009 at 10:46am by deviantartgirl
How ironic that you claim to be "deviant" but buy into outdated social norms.
Marrying someone you've never slept with is a great way to have a depressing, miserable life.
I don't claim to be 'deviant' - I'm part of an online art community called DeviantArt.com
They are not outdated social norms. There are more people who still go by them than you know.
And if you think that sex is the way to get you a happy life, that's your prerogative. But marriage isn't about sexual compatibility; it's about being soul mates and life partners on every level. Find that and you'll find true happiness. It's not all about the sex.
#41 - On 07/02/2009 at 10:55am by deviantartgirl
Re your whole last paragraph: Straw-man much? Obviously no one is saying that relationships are all about sex. But getting married without ever having had sex with the person -- or even having been intimate in an unclothed way -- is sheer insanity.
No, I'd definitely call them outdated, along with women not having careers and being perpetually pregnant until their bodies give out, being subservient to their husbands rather than equal, and marrying exclusively within their race. If it works for you, fine, but it's futile to act like it's anything but an antiquated and dying tradition. And it's easy to deny the importance of sexual compatibility when you've never had (more specifically, bad) sex.
Why is it sheer insanity? And just gotta say, you need to be more sensitive with how you say things like that. Just because someone doesn't share your beliefs does not make what they believe in 'sheer insanity'.
#46 - On 07/02/2009 at 11:03am by deviantartgirl
Like I said, it's not an outdated, nor is it a dying tradition. A lot of people still go by it. Just because you may not know any doesn't mean they don't exist. And I'm not denying the importance of sexual compatibility, but I'm saying that it isn't the most important thing in a relationship. Tell me that if you fell in love with someone who was perfect on every level but you had bad sex, you'd dump him/her?
#47 - On 07/02/2009 at 11:07am by deviantartgirl
I would most definitely call cauterizing a natural human desire for the sake of an invisible sky grandpa "sheer insanity." Religion is little more than organized illogic and insanity by consensus. Treating sexuality as something that needs to be reserved for a soulmate, as you put it, is a textbook example.
Again, that's your prerogative. But just 'cause I don't share your same belief doesn't make it sheer insanity. You don't believ in God. I do. You believe in sex before marriage. I don't. We're different. That does not make what I believe in 'sheer insanity'.
#52 - On 07/02/2009 at 11:15am by deviantartgirl
deviantartgirl I agree marriage is not all about sex, but you should be sexual compatible with your soul mate; if the two of you are ever planning on having any children together. If not then you and your life partner have not connected on every level. It’s just as bad to marry just for sex as it is to marry without seeing if you’re sexually compatible first. (Sadly both are doomed to fail)
#56 - On 07/02/2009 at 11:18am by UncleverName_FYL
I think, again, you're missing the point. Waiting until after you're married to find out that you're sexually incompatible with your spouse is an easily avoided problem. You'll see how silly the idea of finding a soul mate is when you're finding consolation from a showerhead to make up for your life partner's deficiency in the sack. I'm going to go out on a limb and assume you're also against divorce. This is plainly a recipe for disaster. But I'm sure it makes God happy, right?
Haha thanks alex_vik - but why 'for once'? Don't like DeviantArt?
UncleverName_FYL. I agree that sexual compatibility is important with your soul mate. But, again, people who don't believe in sex before marriage do not need to forgo their believes to find out whether or not they're sexually compatible. Look at it this way, if neither party has ever had sex with anyone else, how can they know whether it's bad if they have nothing to compare it to?
#60 - On 07/02/2009 at 11:24am by deviantartgirl
Oh sweet, sweet naivite. I am absolutely in awe. How can anyone know the sex is bad if they've never had sex? Easy.
"Is it in yet?"
"You're DONE already?"
"Ow ow ow wrong hole, wrong hole!"
You'll know if the sex is awful, trust me.
you guys maybe these two people just had sex while they were fully clothed. just made use of the zipper on the pants and perhaps a miniskirt. we're revering two obvious retards who have this distant non-communicative relationship where a little skin discoloration is going to RUIN THE WEDDING. oh my god have you ever talked to each other before? did your parents set you up at birth in bangladesh? shut the fuck up.
#66 - On 07/02/2009 at 11:38am by the_mailman
Crap - internet just crashed and lost my reply >.<
Fayfay, I think you're missing my point - because that's a problem you perceive and have your solution to doesn't make it the right solution for everyone. Nor does it actually mean that it's a problem for everyone. Refer to my other reply: if you have nothing to compare it to, how will you know it's bad?
And, actually, no, I'm not completely against divorce, but I hate how high the divorce rates are these days. And to link it to the original topic- if you look at statistics, people who have only had sex with their husband/wife have a much smaller rate of divorce than those who've had premarital sex/numerous sexual partners.
And on that note, I've enjoyed our little debate, but I do have to bail as I have an essay due in about 13 hours that I need to get cracking on!
#68 - On 07/02/2009 at 11:41am by deviantartgirl
you know, it IS possible for one to IMPROVE at sex. everyone's first time is awkward and embarrassing, but people get better with experience. the only thing you can't change is size, but you don't have to see someone naked to simply ask, and if you love the person enough, it won't matter anyway.
bottom line is it's not your place to tell people what morals to adhere to.
#87 - On 07/02/2009 at 12:42pm by diet_otaku
deviantgirl, I agree with you 100% and props to you for debating with insensitive douchebags who are ridiculously against the idea of not having sex until marriage.
Yay, comments are finally working again!!!
LMFAO, FayFay, I was gonna keep hating you for being so mean about the whole "no sex before marriage" thing, but that was fucking hilarious. No, "divine instrument" is not an innuendo for my penis.
Actually, you may be funny, but you're still dead ignorant. People who want to save themselves for marriage aren't always uber-religious people who have extremist philosophies. As I remember, Jesus was squarely against stoning adulterers, and you pointed out yourself that divorce rates are no higher in religious areas. You're just contradicting yourself. Stick to comedy, and don't bother with debates.
#96 - On 07/02/2009 at 1:11pm by divineinstrument
Deviantartgirl, if you are 20, how long have you been married for?
I met a girl a few weeks ago who didn't have sex before marriage. She said it was just an awful experience with her husband. He didn't get better at it. She got divorced (I'm not sure why) and said the guy she was dating was 10 times better.
I wouldn't assume your wedding night would be magical. You partner might be selfish, physically inadequate or just incompetent (I remember one guy from college who after several partners was astounded to find women can have orgasms too)
#98 - On 07/02/2009 at 1:16pm by drimpossible
I grew up religious, and believing in a so called "God" figure. At a reasonable age, I had to sit down and explain to my very religious parents that I did not buy in any longer. Because I've seen what it's done to couples. I respect the view, and it's a romantic sentiment indeed, but whether God says so or not, sex is a very important thing in any relationship. Intimacy and closeness are a necessity. Finding out after the knot it tied that you're in no way sexually compatible with your wife or husband is a recipe for disaster. And seeing as how divorce is also against your religion, now you're stuck with someone you're not close with and have no intimacy with for the rest of your life, and now you're destined to become miserable.
Not saying that's true for all cases, but just as you're urging us to accept and respect your views, we urge you to look at the other side of the coin and understand why we don't follow your practices.
If we followed everything by the original books, you'd be cleaning the dishes as a "job," having dinner ready for the "man of the house," and not allowed to vote.
#102 - On 07/02/2009 at 1:25pm by rayrayy
deviantartgirl is correct. There are still many people who choose to wait to have sex until they're married. It's not only for religious reasons. There are many reasons why people choose not to have sex until after they're married, including personal moral values. And you don't have to have sex to know if you're sexually compatiable. There are many other things that you can do other than sex to tell. When you say sexually compatiable you're just want to know how good the other person is, not "compatibility". And if you love the other person that shouldn't matter. There is nothing more intimate than knowing that you're the only person that your significant other has been with. You also don't have to worry about STD's.
I agree with Deviantart. There's nothing wrong with waiting til marriage even though I did not. On the other hand, being a slut seems more like a problem....
#133 - On 07/02/2009 at 3:31pm by scorpioserpent
theta - "sexual compatibility" and "not being good at sex" are two completely different things. I don't think I'd know that if I had only had zero or one partners. "Wow, she's doing *something* awesomely, I can tell...but it's not something that turns me on." It's more like...well, the analogy breaks down quickly, but it's more like comparing taste in music. If all person A wants to hear is rap, and all person B wants to hear is country, the best music in the world won't mitigate the difference.
diet_otaku - You can't change what you want out of sex. You can't change what you like.
scorpioserpent - What's wrong with being a slut? :-P
deviantartgirl - Would I divorce someone if we weren't sexually incompatible? Yes. Much as I would divorce them if we were incompatible potential parents, had incompatible personalities, became morally incompatible, or any of a dozen other fatal incompatibilities.
My two cents: If you want to get married without having had sex beforehand, good for you. But you have just as many risks as a couple that *does* have sex before marriage, they're just different risks. And if your sex life sucks for the rest of your days, that's the risk you chose.
#141 - On 07/02/2009 at 4:02pm by regalarius
Oh, yes, and also, @deviantartgirl: Examining questions of divorce rates does not take into account how many people are stuck in unhappy marriages. It's hard to measure that of course, but it's my guess that there are many more people in religious communities stuck in unhappy marriages, because they believe divorce to be sinful or against their god's will. Just my two cents, of course.
#145 - On 07/02/2009 at 4:24pm by regalarius
Why do many of us feel the necessity to attack someone for their beliefs?
While I may not agree with deviantartgirl's ideology of waiting until marriage for sex, I see absolutely no reason why we can't accept that each of us have our own reasons for believing what we do and not criticise someone for not agreeing with us.
Of course, deviantartgirl attacked the person that started the thread, who in turn attacked her ideology... I'm not trying to defend anyone, merely asking why ANY of us feel that attacking anyone else will have any valuable outcome?
Frankly, I don't care whether a bunch of people on this website want me to get laid or remain celibate, the opinions and arguments won't affect my decisions in the slightest--what makes anyone feel that attacking someone else's ideology from behind the blanket of anonymity on a website designed to provide people with entertainment will make anyone feel, think, or act the least bit differently?
Seriously, why can't we live and let live?
"are similar if not higher in more religious areas)" direct quote from fay fay (who by the way is a legend)
so read before you reply!
thats last comment was aimed at divine instrument btw
i would like to say after i was reminded by psychox's comment at the end that i respect your views, they're just not for me or any of the other people.
lets stop this. The internet is a place for kicks, if we carry on in this manner we're just fuelling the grammar nazi's fire, along with the the moral debators, the pwnage people the people who write "1st" at the top of a comments list.
i am ashamed of what i've become lol.
so lets join hands and dance!
I agree with your deviantartgirl. And those pricks who said that it is necessary to have sex to know whether you are compatible with your partner, you are stupid!! Ever heard of making out??? Kissing is one of the way of establishing your soul mate. While kissing, the saliva of the couple intermingle. So when you taste the saliva you will know if the person you are kissing is your soul mate. This is based on MHC [Major Histocompatibility Factors]. This has been proved beyond doubt. Even the smell of your body plays an important role in determining whether you are compatible [sexually] with the person you are dating or not.
You need not have sex to determine. There is nothing wrong in pre-marriage sex, but it isn't wrong to save it for marriage. People have their own preferences and other people should learn to respect it and STFU.
#175 - On 07/02/2009 at 8:31pm by metheonlyb
haha ii thnk ur da smartest 1 here b/c every thiing u just said iiz true! PLUS iisnt it kiinda gay 2 rub stuff all over ur friiendz dik 2 mke iit purple???? iif dey iinto dat kiinda shet good 4 dem but.... ;/
#177 - On 07/02/2009 at 8:46pm by werewolf_13
@175 LMAO what the fuck are you talking about. "This has been proved beyond doubt." bullshit, its hypothesized. unless of course you think anything that has had a study undertaken on it that came to some form of conclusion is therefore true. in which case good luck with smoking, cos i hear they found that to be "safe" once too.
by the way, theres a difference between sexual compatability and selection. youd know this if youd ever had sex.
#183 - On 07/02/2009 at 10:46pm by organisedchaos
Why in the hell was her comment buried? What she was was perfectly logical and acceptable.
#189 - On 07/02/2009 at 11:35pm by BLNovelist
O.O I can't decide if that was a troll or not, #175. I'm going to assume it was because it was friggin' hilarious
#199 - On 07/03/2009 at 12:46am by regalarius
In reply to this long debate on my original post, thank you for calling me retarded deviantartblabla i'm sure your holy father will understand the attack on mentally disabled people.
Secondly, I have no problem with religion and/or the practice of religious beliefs, but abstinence before marriage in modern society is, in most cases, doomed to failure as sex is, no matter how many times you deny it, is crucial to a relationship and in order for a relationship to be succesful you HAVE to be sexually compatible, otherwise there will always be something missing.
Thirdly, Deviantfdhf thanks again for the judgemental approach on my own supposed "loose" morals. Just because I don't buy into your traditional values does not in any way mean i'm a slut. I've only ever slept with one person, my boyfriend of 3 years and if he happens to be the only person I ever sleep with then thats fine. But thanks anyway.
The only way her insult would count as an attack on real retarded people is if they wouldn't want to be compared to you. The word "retard" is the scientific term, by the way, you PC bitch.
Some people are so uptight. The retarded comment was a dig mainly at the fact that Deviantartgirl, and I quote, says "But just 'cause I don't share your same belief doesn't make it sheer insanity. "
Therefore under her own "respecting everyones beliefs" idea, my own belief of being close with someone before marriage should not be labelled "retarded".
Wow, way to be completely insulting and holier-than-thou "deviant." Even people like me who couldn't care less what you choose to do with your aggrandized genitalia don't appreciate you insinuating that anyone who doesn't 'wait' for marriage is "loose" or hops into bed with whoever they want. Does it somehow not occur to your closely cloistered little brain that some people 'wait' for love and commitment, but not necessarily marriage? Just because we don't have a legal title we're sluts now? Yeah, f-ck that, you're even more closed-minded than the people you're criticizing.
232: No it's not. Mentally retarded is in some contexts, but not retard. And that has nothing to do with political correctness.
Why did Deviantartgirl ask for more respectful responses when she called the OP "ignorant" and a "retard"? Seems a bit hypocritical.
I am glad that there are a few people out there that still have morals!!! Not something you find much of these days....I mean just look at most of the posts on this thread. I am in my early 20's and I waited until I was married to see my husband naked or have sex. I have yet to see what I missed out on because of it! My marriage is in NO way perfect, but whose is? I am proud that I have only had one sexual partner, I have SO much less to worry about than other people who have had multiple partners...I don't have to worry about STDs for one. If all of you other people want to go out and bang every person you meet, then by all means have at it, but don't put down people that actually have enough self respect not to!
I applaude you #38!!!! Tell them!!!
#275 - On 07/09/2009 at 4:57am by HannahJoButtons
Although I do not applaud this guy for getting completely wasted, I do think it's awesome he and his wie-to-be had the strength to wait until marriage.
eliz3: I don't believe deviantartgirl was attacking your view of feeling that people should have sex before getting married. She wad simply appaled that you feel it is an out of date custom that has no place in our society. I personally think deviantartgirl expressed her opinion in a very non-agressive way, in no way attacking the other side.
Furthermore, I don't think sex is needed to find out if a couple is "sexually compatible." There are many more ways to find that out, most of which are other intimate acts like kissing, as well as other just plain acts of kindness. If someone is loving enough to care for your needs above his/her own when kissing, or anytime else, that will likely translate while having sex. If he loves you outside the bed, than he'll likely love you in the bed as well, trying his hardest to meet your needs. Those may include getting better, being less selfish, or simply being more kinder. It all comes down to TRUE love, as defined in 1 Corintians 13 which states that "love is not self-seeking" or "selfish."
#299 - On 08/20/2009 at 12:13pm by Logmeister6
Well, to all those who thought I was attacking their views regarding sex before marriage, I was not. I respect that you have different views to me and lead a different life, but my point was that you shouldn't attack the views of others who do not believe in sex before marriage. Like you said you wanted me to respect that you don't believe in what I believe in, I expect you to practice what you preach and not diss a Christian belief or a moral value just because it doesn't meet your lifestyle.
And thank you Logmeister6, I couldn't have said that better myself.
#301 - On 08/26/2009 at 10:21pm by deviantartgirl
I doubt it was NaNO3, probably silver nitrate or something. But i also seriously doubt your friends would put anything on your penis, or else your friends are really weird.
#36 - On 07/02/2009 at 10:36am by ShadowDXDragon
sooo, why exactly did you're friend have access to sodium nitrate... and while i am on that subject, why your penis?
Now you can give your dick a new nickname like the flying purple pussy eater.
#43 - On 07/02/2009 at 10:58am by happyvalleygirl
its not actually "borderline homosexual" if his friends weren't getting aroused while putting shit on his dick. i can pretty much guarantee that their thought process was "omg, his dick will be purple for weeks! have fun explaining that to your wife, asshole!" followed by endless snickering and probably more shots of the alcohol that everyone seems to have a problem with, for... what reason? ITS A BACHELOR PARTY. GTFOVERIT.
#209 - On 07/03/2009 at 1:20am by Gillypants
Ah # 15 tra la la
Hahahahahahahah
And OP that's gonna be hard to explain, like I don't really look like this I promise!!!!
A) who the fuck gets married without EVER seeing each other naked, I can understand no sex, but naked is naked, wtf? B) what kind of faggot friends do you have that willingly touch your dick?
#53 - On 07/02/2009 at 11:16am by HipsterDoofus
YDI for getting wasted in the first place. But also FML cuz everytime you get dressed you have to see your purple private part.
how the hell did they get ahold of sodium nitrate? but hey, just explain to her they put sodium nitrate on your dick..... if she doesnt beleive you show her in a few weeks
#58 - On 07/02/2009 at 11:22am by Orangeman69
I agree its most likely fake, that or hes mistaken the chemical for another.
#62 - On 07/02/2009 at 11:25am by UncleverName_FYL
If she has never seen you naked just tell her that's how dicks look like
#63 - On 07/02/2009 at 11:28am by bittersweets
Why would you go to a party where they try to do stupid crap to you, knowing this? That's silly.
#64 - On 07/02/2009 at 11:28am by Chfanfiction
Why would you do that, though? Because it's the most important day of your life suddenly you have to go along with it? That's the one day I wouldn't want to have a wild party, although to be honest I wouldn't want ti either way.
#147 - On 07/02/2009 at 4:32pm by Chfanfiction
lol i've put that stuff on my arm.. it actually burned a little
but oh well, it looked kinda cool
however, on your dick, that might not be so cool
at least it doesn't make it swell or sore though
#73 - On 07/02/2009 at 11:46am by that_guy321
If she's never seen ANY man naked, you can claim it's proof you're a virgin.
If she has, then claim your dick won first prize.
Wow, what jerks your friends are! Just be honest with her about it and I'm sure she won't mind.
#80 - On 07/02/2009 at 12:21pm by dramakat11
the same sorry things are said whatever way you go:
"don't buy the car without test driving it first"
"why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free"
apparently it's a no-win situation so take your pick.
can we please step into the 21st century and just accept that different people have different values that influence their choices... it's really not difficult.
#83 - On 07/02/2009 at 12:26pm by awoodenhouse
In the case of SILVER NITRATE on your...thing just pour hydrogen peroxide on it and the nitrate will come off. I had the same thing happen except it fell on my clothes and the stuff got it out just fine.
#85 - On 07/02/2009 at 12:37pm by fAiL_mAcHiNe
Unless he has open wounds on his penis, why would that be an 'ouch'? Maybe I'm missing something..
#114 - On 07/02/2009 at 2:04pm by anniebananie
so you have never seen your going-to-be-wife naked? it could be you marry a dude. YDI
#88 - On 07/02/2009 at 12:43pm by AntiChrist7
Definitely silver nitrate. Jezsus, the MSDS for silver nitrate is crazy scary. Extemely destructive to mucus membranes... Your friends are JERKS, they literally could have melted your dick off with a high enough concentration.
If I were that guy I would totally be like all of the guys involved in operation purple dick are not allowed to come to my wedding anymore screw you guys...but I guess i'm just vengful that way
#94 - On 07/02/2009 at 1:09pm by missbrunettgirl
I don't think that would really be taken as a punishment. No boring wedding to sit around and watch? WOO.
#125 - On 07/02/2009 at 2:54pm by lolwut_fail
First of all, you deserve it for being that drunk.
Second of all, I think he means Sodium Nitrite... not Nitrate.
Sodium nitrite has a property that makes it a vasodiolator, or enlarges blood vessels.
Enlarged blood vessels at the surface of the skin would result in a purple, engorged appearance.
I dont think you meant sodium nitrate i think you meant silver nitrate. i work with that daily and it turns your skin black or or dark purple if you get it on your skin.... and it'll be that color for about 5 days so you should be fine
#97 - On 07/02/2009 at 1:12pm by oopsatwork
why the fuck would anyone bring sodium nitrate to a bachelor party....
then proceed to put it on body parts?
#100 - On 07/02/2009 at 1:22pm by MeandSunnyD
You can explain it to her, and then she'll notice that after a few weeks it goes away.
Problem solved. Your friend is kind of a jerk for doing that though. He should have thought about it.
D:
#104 - On 07/02/2009 at 1:30pm by SiLveRStaRLIGHT
Wow. Dude that sucks. If I was your wife I'd be like "woot purple dick, and you have my fave color on" and have sex anyways. I'd laugh in the beginning.
#108 - On 07/02/2009 at 1:50pm by SweetTea90
Many people are saying that not having sex before marriage is a recipe for disaster but all but a couple people actually have any support to back that claim up.
The truth of the matter is that most couples have sex before marriage and most marriages end in divorce so not having sex before marriage is not necessarily a "recipe for disaster."
Moreover, if the couple is not having sex before marriage they almost certainly explored the myriad other ways in which couples can be intimate, particularly emotional intimacy. Physical intimacy after marriage is just another type of intimacy which may not be the most important for them because they have cultivated these other kinds or because they are not particularly sexually compatible. Either way, because they have cultivated other kinds of intimacy, I doubt that a year or so of bad sex while they're learning together will cause the marriage to fail.
Before the sexual revolution of our culture, it was rare that people had pre-marital sex and it was very rare for people to divorce and yes, of course some people were in miserable marriages but no greater number than in our current culture, so perhaps there is something about saving it until marriage.
#109 - On 07/02/2009 at 1:51pm by honeyishrnkdakid
except that he clearly stated his fiance has never seen him naked, = she's never seen his penis = she's never touched his penis.
#206 - On 07/03/2009 at 1:14am by Gillypants
I'm on the fence with the whole waiting until marriage thing. But, being sexually compatible is kind of important. That's a good chunk of your relationship right there, and it will be for many years. You've made your choice already, but um.. I just suggest to try to get the purple off and explain to your fiance what happened BEFORE you two get it on or whatever.
So then more power to the OP for not having sex with a female and it's cool that he and his friends play with their penis' when they all hang out together....in your opinion? So that's how you roll then. FYI, heterosexual males typically stop engaging in circle jerks and like activity after a certain age and WAY, WAY before the age in which they consider marriage. When they fail to do so, then it's considered adult homosexuality and is in fact SEXUAL activity and would not be considered waiting until he got married at all. Just because he isn't banging a woman doesn't mean it's not sex. Some would say it's just a prank and I ask this, "How many of your adult male friends play jokes with you involving your penis? Are you THIS CLOSE to your friends that you take out your cocks and party with them at an all male party?" AND it doesn't say the dude was passed out... it says he was wasted....used that line myself a time a two when I didn't want to take responsibility for my own part in what happened. Lastly, I don't care if the dude gang banged his football team for sips of gatoraide...it's his life. I just think people who give this dude props for his "high morals" for waiting are as stupid as chewed gum.
#276 - On 07/09/2009 at 11:22am by BlackScorpionAng
He doesn't deserve it for getting that drunk at his bachelor party
That's the point of them..?
FYL, but even if you're waiting until you're married, you never got dressed/undressed in front of each other or anything? Odd.
You should contact your doctor and explain the situation so you don't end up doing horrible, horrible things to your wife's vagina, especially since you don't seem to know exactly what chemical was used.
#115 - On 07/02/2009 at 2:07pm by iarrhpirate
Your friends are right. It was funny...for everyone that isn't you. Hahaha. FYL
#116 - On 07/02/2009 at 2:11pm by dontcare804
oh i thought it was silver nitrate...
i guess it's just the nitrate or maybe i just got my Ss mixed up XD
well... er.. oh well
This, my friend, is why you are careful around chemists. You never quite know what chemists will do when bored / smashed. I remember one of my friends (A PhD candidate at an Ivy-caliber unversity) telling me about when he and the other grad students shot flaming marshmallows dipped in metal salts (for pretty colors) across a quad just for fun.
#119 - On 07/02/2009 at 2:26pm by theRovingMage
your friends have some real guts to actually touch your penis and put sodium nitrate on it
#121 - On 07/02/2009 at 2:45pm by shirvon100
A purple penis is gonna be the least of this tool's concerns on his wedding night. If I were him, I'd be more worried about sucking dick at fucking pussy
YDI for not test driving the car before making the down payment.
#137 - On 07/02/2009 at 3:42pm by rawrmobile
that's horrible, some people actually have the guts and will to save their first time together until marriage.
#142 - On 07/02/2009 at 4:07pm by 20seniorparty09
Why are all the best comments getting burried? I literally LOLed at this one!
I didn't know that there were so many ignorant conservative members of FML.
#184 - On 07/02/2009 at 11:01pm by farfromprying
LMFAO oh man sucks to be you! Could be worse, if it was red then she would think there was a serious problem, be thankful it is temporary. Besides, as that jokes goes "What is the difference between pink and purple? The tightness of your grip!"
Tell her if she sucks it hard enough, grape juice will come out XD
#139 - On 07/02/2009 at 3:57pm by thebigslim
At least you didn't wake up in Vegas with a tiger and a baby.
#140 - On 07/02/2009 at 3:58pm by bskballa92
A. Your fault for getting stupidass drunk
B. Your friends are jerks. Nice job picking them
C. Have sex before marriage. Pussy.
Why does wanting to know if the person is right before having sex make him a pussy? You're just an idiot.
#148 - On 07/02/2009 at 4:35pm by Chfanfiction
have fun getting a divorce since you're getting married without knowing for sure if it's gonna work......YDI
#146 - On 07/02/2009 at 4:30pm by Volcomliberation
LOL fyi indeed... my friend and i were reading this and he went like "but maybe she has a barney fetish and would enjoy having sex with purple thing" !!
AND he gave me the wrong link to post the comment so i ended up posting it in the fml of the cancer-free lady. fml moment!! XD
wow, so I noticed how above the box where Im making a comment it says "speak your mind, but please try to be respectful" Obviously we have some people on here that didnt notice that. There's no reason to call him and idiot or a pussy, you are being judgmental and just hateful. Just because he did something that's different from what you do doesnt make him a pussy, or an idiot. And why is everyone saying YDI for him getting drunk? Jesus, he could've been doing alot worse things than getting drunk at his BACHELOR PARTY. Hello, that's the whole concept.
I don't think that you necessarily have to wait till marriage to have sex, but that's also his choice.
OP I hope that it works out for you, and that your happy together.
Can we just stop the hateful stupid shit on here please???
Good for you for waiting, but I think YDI because I can't feel sorry for anyone who gets so drunk that they have no idea what's going on. But definitely just explain to your fiance what happened beforehand and she'll probably laugh at you but be okay with it...for the most part lol.
(And just to the people who keep telling the OP to just "do it already" or whatever--It takes a much stronger person to wait, then to jump into bed with anyone they feel like at the time.)
i agree with #17, are you sure it was sodium nitrate? thats a pretty strong chemical- potassium permanganate might turn something purple
uber sorry about your purple friend lol, but im sure your wife-to-be will understand- congrats on the wedding- and kudos for waiting dude
#159 - On 07/02/2009 at 7:10pm by NatTalksTooMuch
YDI for drinking so much!!
Your friends have really strange senses of humor. That's a really nasty trick to play, and strange that a bunch of straight guys would be playing with your dick in the first place. I'm all for the gays, I'm just saying it's weirdly repressed for supposedly straight guys. Call a dermatologist and see if there's anything you can do to bleach the skin back before your wedding!
ACTUALLY straight men that are COMFORTABLE with themselves have no problem with their best friends penises in this way most of the time, especially in this context. stop being a homophobe. you're saying you're "all for the gays".... but i'm willing to bet if a gay guy hit on you, you'd freak out like a little sissy and start calling him a fag.
#205 - On 07/03/2009 at 1:09am by Gillypants
hahaha FayFay is hilarious! I agree with them on everything!
#166 - On 07/02/2009 at 7:27pm by FreshAsCrap
It's not called a "purple headed yogurt slinger" for nothing!
#169 - On 07/02/2009 at 7:38pm by speak_a_da_truth
wow... i honestly find this sad that almost everyone who has commented is wondering why she had never seen him naked...
what has the world come to?
#171 - On 07/02/2009 at 7:50pm by akheller
bahahahhahahahaha
man, that totally sucks, but i just lol'd
#180 - On 07/02/2009 at 9:56pm by meltingwalls
next time you're at your fiance's house, go to the bathroom. After a few seconds, yell: "WTF?! MY DICK IS PURPLE! STUPID FRIENDS!" or something along the lines of that. Hopefully, she'll build some sympathy.
And btw, sucks for you.
Kudos for waiting till marriage man, that takes guts.
Also, your friends have a pretty effed up sense of humor if they're rubbing stuff on your dick while you're passed out... Unless they passed out soon after doing that, then they were just crunked?
#182 - On 07/02/2009 at 10:08pm by crazyiowans
You got a purple like that. Because your time is still going on.
Comment if you get the reference. lol
#185 - On 07/02/2009 at 11:02pm by VerticalOrbit
LMFAO!! how do you plan on explaining this to her? lol
#186 - On 07/02/2009 at 11:22pm by Chapstick_Addict
That's wonderful that you've waited until marriage!
I'm sure if you explain to her what happened she'll understand. (:
#187 - On 07/02/2009 at 11:26pm by Waabishkii_ikwe
wait, ur fiance has NEVER seen you naked? that means youve never had sex! this relationship is going downward........
#190 - On 07/02/2009 at 11:38pm by laffytacky
Good for you for waiting!
I think she'll understand. I mean, you kinda deserve it for being that wasted, but I mean - you guys are getting married. I'm sure you can tell her this. You just might laugh about it!
Personally I'd find it funny, and if she were marrying me I'm sure she would too. I'd be pissed at the idiots who thought smearing chemicals on my wang was a good idea though.
Um, just tell her your friend likes penises and he drugged you so he could.... do stuff with it
#198 - On 07/03/2009 at 12:41am by spillproof
that really sucks :(
and just cos they were waiting for marriage to have sex doesnt mean it will be a failed relationship. some people wait, some people dont, and who cares? as long as the couple are happy :)
#201 - On 07/03/2009 at 12:53am by fueledbyamy
UUUHHMMMM FYL for waiting until marriage to... get to second base? for real? i'm so sick of people who think they can marry a person without knowing if you're sexually compatible. no, sex is not the most important aspect of a relationship. yes, it IS an important aspect of a relationship. NO, YOU CAN'T KNOW IF YOU'RE SEXUALLY COMPATIBLE UNTIL YOU HAVE SEX. what happens after you get married if the sex SUCKS and you end up falling out of love? personally i don't believe you can have true love without sex, and therefore would NEVER ever CONSIDER telling someone i loved them before we made it to the sac. ever been in a really great relationship that you thought was the be all and the end all, until you have shitty sex that doesn't get better and you can't stand the person to touch you anymore? well, YOU haven't, but trust me. that shit happens allllll the time.
#203 - On 07/03/2009 at 1:06am by Gillypants
Your response barely distinguishes you from an animal with sex urges. Come to think of it, using your logic --- why don't you go have sex with a donkey because -- you'll never know if you're compatible or not unless you try? Have you ever tried heroin? How do you know you wouldn't like it unless you tried it? Telling someone you love them only after you've rated your or their sex performance is pretty shallow and lame. Love is a lot deeper than that -- it involves commitment. That means not using someone to satisfy your own horny lusts and then tossing them out the next day because it wasn't perfect. Sheesh! Quit trying to justify your lack of morals, self-control, respect and self-respect by pretending to be an expert on something you do not know. I would rather marry someone who has saved her virginity for me - than marry someone who has played the field and become an "expert" on judging if my/our sex performance was good enough to "ensure" a long-term relationship.
#211 - On 07/03/2009 at 1:39am by doof_fisch
All you are telling me in this post is: I rather have the comfort of knowing that my partner is less secure about themselves and more dependent (as I probably am too) on their counterpart (me) in the relationship AND that I prioritize dependency and a desperate sense of longing for permanent security over a GOOD sexlife with my partner! =P
Welll.... I don't, tyvm.
YDI... cheers mate! best of luck in the sack... maybe reconsider the not-having-sex part in another life?
#224 - On 07/03/2009 at 4:34am by Rollercoaster
lack of moral? i think she just has different morals. how come people have to have the same morals as the two of you in order to be worth anything? we all come from different backgrounds and it's our different experiences that mold us into different people. you're both right; there's more to love than sex, but sex is a very important part of love. it's a moment where two people become one. also, we're all animals, we have sexual urges. the way you guys attacked makes the both of you no different than a predator going after it's prey. why can't people just get along? none of us are any better than the other.
#245 - On 07/03/2009 at 9:39pm by afmanslady
Too bad you can't ask Michael Jackson what turns skin white.
#210 - On 07/03/2009 at 1:25am by doof_fisch
You deserve it for getting that drunk. Honestly, it sucks, but it's not a big deal. Just explain it to her. Warn her before you show her. It shouldn't matter...I mean, she loves you enough to marry you. She trusts you. I'd say this is a "look back on and laugh" story, NOT an FML.
#212 - On 07/03/2009 at 1:43am by QueenOfMelodrama
I think the only FML here is that you haven't screwed your fiancee.
sucks to be you if you 'join in holy matromony' and turn out she sucks at sex.
a purple penis sounds fun .
That is so cute that you guys waited. Congratulations on the marriage.
#221 - On 07/03/2009 at 3:58am by DearlyBeloved
it was most likey potassium permanganate. that shit turns everything purple, i once got it on my clothes at lab. hopefully her vagina will not turn purple as well! just kidding. congratulations :)
p.s. you could always see if they have got colored condoms that will make it less noticeable until it fades!
#222 - On 07/03/2009 at 4:16am by whensdinner
what if... you wait until marriage to have sex... and then it sucks??
#228 - On 07/03/2009 at 7:44am by heyyou1203
What i dont understand is why all these uptight religious pricks who think waiting until marriage for sex is a good idea and have issues with alcohol are on FML anyways. I guess they need to live vicariously because they can't get enough excitement from their bible thumping. which is a fairy tale, btw. just throwin that out there.
Fuck you, my brother is training to be a pastor and he isn't a "bible thumper". He has fun just like everyone else!
that sucks, but it's really awesome that you guys waited to have sex until marriage
#235 - On 07/03/2009 at 3:01pm by twil
i love how when its a post about waiting for marriage all these ppl say "ydi for waiting"
then all the waiters say "dont say that your blah blah blah"
and its a post about pre-maritial sex all these people say "ydi for not waiting"
and then all the non waiters say "dont say that your blah blah blahh"
guys this arguement cant be solved over the internet stop trying its a HUGE debate and just gets annoying to read over and over again.
xoxo
#239 - On 07/03/2009 at 6:05pm by dancin303
well... if she waited until marriage... maybe theres still hope she has never seen "one" before?? what does she know what color its supposed to be?
#241 - On 07/03/2009 at 6:44pm by sunshinedudette
SILVER NITRATE dyes your skin. Sodium nitrate is an ingredient in gunpowder and sodium nitrite is a food preservative.
#254 - On 07/04/2009 at 2:38pm by GabrielScott
it's great that you two are waiting! Honestly, I don't think she'll mind. Although I would let her know beforehand and try to see a doctor or something. Congrats!
This doesn't help you, but barium nitrate does the same thing. It took me a week to get it off my hands. Guess you'll be eating a lot of pussy on your wedding night, pal.
i feel bad for your wife
Today, was my wedding day. i saw my dad's penis for the first time. its purple. FML
#250 - On 07/03/2009 at 11:50pm by sammisamantha
Silver nitrate is what dyes your skin. Barium nitrate is an ingredient in explosives, and it burns your skin if you leave it on. You clearly are a liar.
#255 - On 07/04/2009 at 2:41pm by GabrielScott
serves you right for getting wasted like that. lucky you they didn't do anything worse
#259 - On 07/04/2009 at 9:57pm by X_totallysucks_X
HAha i love sodium nitrate! i tattoo myself every year with that shit! hah no wonder i can never find a lab partner.... but at least i tattoo myself no where near my genitals
#260 - On 07/05/2009 at 1:32am by hockeyringer15
WTG on getting married! Hope you have a long and happy life together and she lets you continue to hang out with your friends even after she finds out that you all play with each others dicks when you party together and make them all purple. I'm sure she'll understand.
#266 - On 07/07/2009 at 1:54am by BlackScorpionAng
Who the hell votes YDI on these, christ
I got mugged today
'Um you kind of deserve it for going out your door y'know'
Where the hell did they get sodium nitrate from and why are you hanging out with science geeks close to your wedding night? Science geeks are so evil trust me I know. I go to a science school. lol
#272 - On 07/07/2009 at 2:18pm by mzmaverickd
tell your fiance what happened. and ur friends are jerks
#274 - On 07/08/2009 at 10:43pm by chaqibabay
Uhm... whats with all the prop's for this guy "waiting until he was married" to get off sexually? I mean... he said he was wasted, not passed out when a bunch of his bud's played around with his dick. He won't let his girl see it but he lets all his pals play around with it... sounds to me like someone else already busted this dudes cherry, and dyed it PURPLE!! Too bad it wasn't her though huh? All that waiting was for not!
Uh...Edmound isn't Old English...he speaks like normal every day people do around here, not some dead cockney scholar ... so F U grammar/semantics police. Here's a tip for ya, go sit in a hot bath and melt that iceberg you have up your arse (there's Old English word for you..arse). Pip Pip old chap and all that crap.
#283 - On 07/10/2009 at 7:25pm by BlackScorpionAng
way to stay abstinent!
i mean, you did get wasted but im happy to know you havent had sex with your fiance yet!
#278 - On 07/09/2009 at 12:37pm by kwinnykwinny
you must have been seriously drunk to let your friends take out and handle your penis. or just a closet gay.
Protip: It's Silver Nitrate, not Sodium. I spilled that shit all over my hands in chemistry class. It takes a long time to come off, because it'll only come off after your skin replaces itself. I hear rubbing helps, so just wank a lot and you'll be fine.
I'm dead serious.
#282 - On 07/10/2009 at 2:55am by ThatGuyWeHate
Who says ding dong anymore ?
Lnfao the beginning Convo is hilarious
#285 - On 07/15/2009 at 2:27am by amaneylandx3
YDI for getting married to a bitch who has never seen your dick!
how conservative can you get?!
plus, this sounds like u stole it from some american pie-like movie
#288 - On 07/19/2009 at 10:40am by nickdeluxxe
lol #282 I almost just peed myself
I agree tho, just jerk it like crazy
#289 - On 07/19/2009 at 10:42am by nickdeluxxe
thats silver nitrate dumbass. i was so pissed off i made an account just to correct your stupidity.
#291 - On 07/20/2009 at 3:09am by endlessvoid57
How could you marry someone without ever seeing them naked? I think this guy's gonna have more problems than a purple dick haha
#293 - On 07/31/2009 at 2:07pm by pointycollars
HAHAHA! That's the best idea ever! I'm so gonna use that.
#296 - On 08/11/2009 at 7:46pm by Triplefool
That sucks. But, honestly, it being purple might make it more interesting for her the first time she sees it! j/k
(If she loves you, she either won't care, or will quickly get over it.)
not gonna lie, i stopped reading the comments after the 25th one. too many. This is very easily fixed though, tell her to suck the purple off :)
