Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick :
Categories :
Man or woman?
Email notification?

Today, I tried to suck my own penis. Autofellatio. My mother walked in on me and I flipped backwards off the bed. ER and 10 stiches above my eyebrow later, I asked her not to ever bring it up again. FML

#2696
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12395) - you deserved it (54109)

On 01/26/2009 at 4:09pm - intimacy - by Boredom - United States

aces10's life also sucks
Today, I was talking to my mom about my younger brother getting his girlfriend pregnant.…

apricot also deserved it
Today, my husband found the box my morning after pill came in. He had a vasectomy 10…

Top comments

wait-wtf? why is barely anyone messing with this guy about an attempt at giving himself a blowjob, that's...friggen disgusting..wth? some of you even ask how to do it and ..wtf?!
Well.. i'm only 15..so i woudn't know..but jebus guys, what the blazing balls.

#10 - On 02/12/2009 at 8:01pm by Inkspell

See in context

+48 | 2

if i could do this i would dump my girlfriend and never leave my house.

#4 - On 02/05/2009 at 9:47am by OEsEben

See in context

+47

Comments

Loading...

Comments

Speak your mind, but please try and be respectful.

Top of the page

You must have an FML account to comment.

Don't have an FML account yet ? Sign up to FML!



FML's blog

  • Sharina's Illustrated FML
  • Hi gang! Glad to see you all again, hope you’re doing fine and dandy. We are, amazing stuff has happened in amongst all the drudge and sludge. We’ve spent the week listening to the greatest album ever…

Friday 24 May 2013

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on:

© 2008-2013 by