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Today, it was my birthday, and my wife gave me a sex toy for self-masturbation. She even showed me how to properly use it so I can masturbate myself. FML

#2496205
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58056) - you deserved it (6709)

On 06/01/2009 at 10:06am - intimacy - by TeeJay (man) - United States (New York)

Top comments

Self-masturbation? Is there any other kind?

Lol. I'm sorry. I'm not usually a grammar Nazi on these websites, but I felt like being a smart ass.

Maybe she got it for you to spice things up in your sex life? She might like the idea of you using it.

I don't know. I don't really think this is an FML, but I'm sorry that you were unhappy with it.

#6 - On 06/01/2009 at 2:07pm by AndelleRae

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This isn't an FML, this is just an idiot who doesn't realize what a nice wife he has. She doesn't have to have sex with you whenever you want, but she still wants you to be happy and satisfied, so she buys you an aid to help you out whenever she can't. That's thoughtful and kind.

F your wife's life because she's got such a prick for a husband.

#12 - On 06/01/2009 at 2:20pm by Eresbel

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