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Today, it was my birthday, and my wife gave me a sex toy for self-masturbation. She even showed me how to properly use it so I can masturbate myself. FML


I agree, your life sucks (57973) - you deserved it (6699)

On 06/01/2009 at 10:06am - intimacy - by TeeJay (man) - United States (New York)

Top comments

Self-masturbation? Is there any other kind?

Lol. I'm sorry. I'm not usually a grammar Nazi on these websites, but I felt like being a smart ass.

Maybe she got it for you to spice things up in your sex life? She might like the idea of you using it.

I don't know. I don't really think this is an FML, but I'm sorry that you were unhappy with it.

#6 - On 06/01/2009 at 2:07pm by AndelleRae

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make a nice candlelit dinner and have her walk in on you eating with the toy, and ask her if she could leave you two alone.

problem solved.

jealousy is the best solution.

#20 - On 06/01/2009 at 2:29pm by andycaliboy

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