Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, it was my birthday, and my wife gave me a sex toy for self-masturbation. She even showed me how to properly use it so I can masturbate myself. FML


I agree, your life sucks (56282) - you deserved it (6519)

On 06/01/2009 at 10:06am - intimacy - by TeeJay (man) - United States (New York)

Top comments

Self-masturbation? Is there any other kind?

Lol. I'm sorry. I'm not usually a grammar Nazi on these websites, but I felt like being a smart ass.

Maybe she got it for you to spice things up in your sex life? She might like the idea of you using it.

I don't know. I don't really think this is an FML, but I'm sorry that you were unhappy with it.

#6 - On 06/01/2009 at 2:07pm by AndelleRae

See in context

make a nice candlelit dinner and have her walk in on you eating with the toy, and ask her if she could leave you two alone.

problem solved.

jealousy is the best solution.

#20 - On 06/01/2009 at 2:29pm by andycaliboy

See in context




Speak your mind, but please try and be respectful.

Top of the page

You must have an FML account to comment.

Don't have an FML account yet ? Sign up to FML!

FML's blog

  • Élodie's Illustrated FML
  • Aaaaah, the beach, the sunshine, cool water against our skin...  Nah, just kidding, I can't afford a trip to the beach. This blog is being written from a grotty apartment in the less salubrious parts of…

Friday 18 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: