Maybe it's her way of saying that she only needs you to be happy in your relationship.

Some people just don't like sex. Sorry OP.

Look into the 5 love languages. She may be emotionally drained since you aren't loving her the way she needs to be loved. Perhaps your love language is physical touch whereas hers isn't, perhaps she desires quality time with you? If she gains what she's lacking from you emotionally, she will want to put out again.

Lovely implications there, #3. 'Deceive your wife by being more affectionate until she has sex with you again.' Relationships are built on honesty, not lies- lying to get sex is just as ****** up inside a monogamous marriage as it is when someone is dating. The CORRECT thing to do is to discuss the lack of desire for sex with her, see what the cause is, see if the cause is something that can be worked on, IF she even wants to work on it, and if she doesn't want sex, whatever the reason, to look at alternatives. This could mean funds for sex toys and **** for OP, or permission for OP to take up a mistress. It could mean a divorce. But lying to get sex? That is not right, and verges dangerously close to coercive rape, if not it outright. As it stands, if she ever found out he was being more affectionate just for sex, she would very likely violated in the same way any person would after after sex with someone because of false pretenses. She deserves better than that. Also, word of advice? Chances are if you use the term 'put out' in regards to sex, you've got some issues in regards to healthy intimacy. No one owes anyone sex. It isn't something that you 'get' by means of payment unless that's how the other person wants to do things. Regardless of the form of payment.