Intimacy: Today, I had a wet dream about a chocolate muffin. FML - FML

This is a Nearly FML. It’s an FML, nearly. It got positive votes from the users, by wasn’t approved by our team.

By Seriously?! - 24/04/2016 05:16 - United States - Portland

Today, I had a wet dream about a chocolate muffin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18

You deserved it 7

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Top comments

No comments yet.

Comments

No comments yet.

Keywords

Relatable Work Awkward Parents Job interview Love Facebook Social Media Jealousy Friends Relationship advice Kids AITA Roommate Shoes Annoying Names Music Customers Money Education Capitalism Gamers Weird Bodyshaming Coworkers Landlords Allergies Dogs Embarrassing

The Top

Today, my dad uttered the dreaded words, “Now don’t worry boy, I knows exactly what I is doing.” A few short minutes later he has a destroyed impact drill, my ladder is snapped, my kitchen window is broken, my wife is in hospital for stitches, and we can’t find the cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 489

You deserved it 64

Today, I sat down and worked out I get paid £26000 a year for working 40 hours a week. Meanwhile my boss gets paid £115000 to answer emails when he remembers to and to attend 5 hours of mandatory meetings a month, which he now does over video chat from his vacation cottage in Scotland. FML

I agree, your life sucks 475

You deserved it 105

The Top

Today, I stood up in front of the class and dropped my pen. As I bent over to pick it up, a boy in the front row loudly broke wind. I will forever be known as "that teacher who farted". FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 918

You deserved it 2 383

Today, I started my new health kick with granola for breakfast, salad for lunch, and hitting the gym after work. I was so proud of myself, until I couldn’t take it anymore and binged at McDonald’s. My health kick lasted 11 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 780

You deserved it 1 761

Today, I was convinced I hadn't locked up properly when leaving work, and almost had a panic attack at the train station. I went all the way back into work, to find I had in fact locked up properly. It made me nearly two hours late home. This isn't the first time I've done this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 843

You deserved it 9 472

Today, I found out my girlfriend had sex with three different guys in one day. All at a party. A party that I was at. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 415

You deserved it 7 100

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me while we were at the pool. He seemed shocked that I wasn't crying. A slim girl in a bikini walked past and said, "Don't worry, fat people are used to it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 904

You deserved it 5 267

Today, I was pretending to talk on the phone with my wife just to avoid to speak with my boring coworker. After two awkward minutes of him waiting in front of my desk and me inventing a call, he handed me the disconnected phone cable and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 575

You deserved it 53 750