Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick :
Categories :
Man or woman?
Email notification?

Today, I was really sick. I had been sneezing all day and my skin had started to dry out. When my mom asked me if I needed anything, I immediately responded with "lotion and tissues," not realizing what I was suggesting. She then talked to me for 20 minutes about how "masturbation is okay." FML

#19650159
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18927) - you deserved it (1946)

On 05/20/2012 at 2:11am - intimacy - by sick and awkward - United States (Maryland)

slayerdeath's life also sucks
Today, my girlfriend went in for a kiss too fast and broke my front tooth. FML

polimeros also deserved it
Today, I had to excuse myself from the classroom so I could have a quick wank. This was…

Top comments

At least she accepts that you can masturbate :)
So you got a understanding mother, so intimacy would not be a problem, and she cares for you.
I hope she got your tissues and lube anyway though, and get well.
It sucks to dry up

#2 - On 05/20/2012 at 5:55am by Keevarou

See in context

+249 | 15

You set yourself up for that. Ask for warm apple pie as well. If she gets the reference, enjoy the reaction.

#6 - On 05/20/2012 at 5:58am by SkoomaKi

See in context

+102 | 19

Comments

Loading...

Comments

Speak your mind, but please try and be respectful.

Top of the page

You must have an FML account to comment.

Don't have an FML account yet ? Sign up to FML!



Allison Myres Perry & Jim Perry 's illustrated FML

Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Break that FML
  • Hello everybody! It's great to be back to present you with a new artist. Well, two artists actually. We don't often publish artists that work as a team, and today is all the more interesting because we're…

Wednesday 15 May 2013

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on:

© 2008-2013 by