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Today, on my way home, my girlfriend started sexting me, telling me that she was waiting at my house. In my rush to get home to see her, I got pulled over and had to be patted down. He found no weapons, but he did find my stiffy. FML

#17906295
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29617) - you deserved it (8309)

On 10/04/2011 at 8:02pm - intimacy - by Username - United States

Foreverathome's life also sucks
Today, after months of telling my parents I was going to live on my own, I finally moved…

danii also deserved it
Today, I drove to the liquor store completely naked except for my dressing gown, with a…

Top comments

Is that your phone in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

#1 - On 10/05/2011 at 2:37am by saysayok

See in context

+227 | 7

What's this? A gun? A knife? You people make me sick.

It must be a gun, it has a sort of rounded tip. Wait...hang on.

My mistake...

#4 - On 10/05/2011 at 2:40am by ollie179

See in context

+214 | 14

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