Today, I saw a couple of beetles doing it. Jealous, I quickly crushed them with my boot while screaming, "IF I CAN'T DO IT, NOBODY WILL!" All the little kids playing on the local playground, including parents supervising them, gave me dirty, confused looks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11861) - you totally deserved it (69824)
On 05/06/2009 at 2:15am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)
You were jealous.. over beetles?!
Oh god, I dont even know what level of fail you are in..
#1 - On 05/06/2009 at 10:31am by Devil
lmfao this is hilarious. wow. you are in a whole new category of retardation
#4 - On 05/06/2009 at 10:34am by deliverypenguin
Ahaah this is awesome. I agree kick those shits. Also anyone who says "lewzer" better not be procreating or god help us all.
the fact that you were on a playground means a few things:
1. your not old enough to be having sex
B. your not old enough to get any sympathy for acting like a child
4. your a goddamn idiot and YDI completely
#19 - On 05/06/2009 at 10:40am by guitardedman
#19, there is no age limit to playgrounds. They are fun, no matter how old you are. Especially the swings. Those are both fun AND romantic.
U KILLED BEETLES DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
U SUCKKK
#24 - On 05/06/2009 at 10:45am by lolfailure
You're kind of a fucked-up person if you're stomping on beetles. If I were you, I wouldn't expect to get laid in a long, long time. Or ever.
And #13, those are the kinds of people who are procreating the most. Planet says, "FML!"
#25 - On 05/06/2009 at 10:45am by x_eyebrows
that's really stupid. haha. and I agree with #29...you actually yell by yourself? you totally deserved it.
#32 - On 05/06/2009 at 10:52am by morgan_5230
There are a lot of ploblems with this. You're jealous of bugs...and then instead of just killing them, you announce it out load? o_O
#33 - On 05/06/2009 at 10:53am by scorpioserpent
you're horrible. just because the beetles have better lives than you doesn't mean you had to murder them in cold blood.
#36 - On 05/06/2009 at 10:58am by everyonehatesyou
YDI for yelling by yourself. There's a reason you aren't getting any.
#37 - On 05/06/2009 at 11:02am by deaditegirl
Lets be honest. The real reason you killed the bugs was that you were jealous of the size of the beetles penis compared to yours. ;-)
That is honestly the funniest thing I have ever heard. I don't understand why everyone is sensitive towards beetles. but whatever.
#40 - On 05/06/2009 at 11:09am by carrera594
Woww that is one of the most retarded things I've read on FML
#42 - On 05/06/2009 at 11:13am by fmlsmymiddlename
wow i have never seen a more selfish person. i understand they are just bugs but you're JEALOUS that they're having sex. wow. you're like a five year old.
That is pretty much the most pathetic thing I have ever pictured. Do you punch people who have friends? Get help man, get help...
Leave him alone guys, I understand. Being married myself I understand the urge to crush every loving thing I see. It's obvious that this guy is just a more ... insecticidal version of myself.
So you kill helpless little creatures just cause you're not getting any? Psycho! You ought to be locked up before you start killing people too!
how do you seriously know they were having sex? and if you do have that much time on your hands to know if they were - go find a hobby. MAYBE just MAYBE someone that has the same interests as you may go have a coffee with you and you can go from there.....
#52 - On 05/06/2009 at 11:23am by redsoxchick08
Did you next pull out your sword and behead them screaming, "There can be only one?" Douche.
#53 - On 05/06/2009 at 11:23am by ffpoisongirl
the poor beetles......and damn....this is why you aren't getting laid.
#55 - On 05/06/2009 at 11:24am by Treehugger
ooooo looks like you gotta stomp on me too now....... get a fucking life man seriously. Getting jealous of beetles is one thing, but then screaming it out in public AND posting it here.....damn man you deserved it but your life is fucked, you fucked it up yourself.....
did the beetles give u the confused look too while dying?
#58 - On 05/06/2009 at 11:28am by KenMcGormick
YOUR A FUCKING LOOSER. WHO THE FUCK GETS JEALOUS OF BEATLES. YOU'LL ALWAYS BE A VIRGIN YOU ASSHOLE.
#59 - On 05/06/2009 at 11:28am by your_mother
#7 I want to believe!! (Seriously I have no life and spend A LOT of time moderating FMLs cos I've read them all and they really don't vary much). Actually I DO believe that there are things too weird to make up.
That is some bad karma you got right there. Now you are not going lose your virginity until you're reincarnated as a beetle.. and just as you're about to blow some loser stomps on you. The circle of life o_O
#60 - On 05/06/2009 at 11:29am by dirtyhippie
Soooooo funny!!!! Hahahaha, sounds like something I'd do to get a chuckle :P
#62 - On 05/06/2009 at 11:31am by Sparrow_101
You killed 2beetles because you were jealous, while screaming out loud. Wow, your life is f*cked and you totally deserved
it!! better to end your life yourself....
hahaha #2 and #64 couldn't be more correct.
I hope no-one wants to have sex with an odd person like yourself, if they do.
God help 'em
hmm why would nobody wants to do it with you... maybe because you hyper frustrated maniak with a willie the size of an ant?
#68 - On 05/06/2009 at 11:37am by AntiChrist7
Today, my friends were out mating, when I see a human rushing towards them. Before I can even click my mandibles together to warn them, the human makes a thunderingly loud noise and crushes them. I got to see my two best friends splattered all over the ground. FML
I lol'd so hard.
But that's why you're not getting any, you murderer.
#75 - On 05/06/2009 at 11:49am by Rainbow_Monkey
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH.
LOLOLOLOLOL, why do i feel like that would be out of some sitcom or something.
ahhhhhh, i totally see why your not getting any though. weirdo.
you are such an asshole
jealous of beetles really?
you have serious issues
could this be why your not having sex?
Bookmarked, in case I ever feel crummy in the future and need a reminder that there's someone who's infinitely worse off than I am.
#83 - On 05/06/2009 at 12:05pm by DoctorWombat
You're not only a cockblocker but also a heartless assassin. Moreover, you showed everybody that you're a jealous loser who ruins others' lives instead of getting his own. You definitely deserve that one.
Lover beetles, R.I.P
#87 - On 05/06/2009 at 12:11pm by proudstub
Wow, you're a total asshole. YDI and I hope you never have sex in your life.
YOU'RE GONNA DIE A VIRGIN, BITCH!
#88 - On 05/06/2009 at 12:13pm by Curtieeeez
I don't connect with beetles like I do animals such as cats or dolphins or what not, but destroying a living thing deliberately, for no purpose...it's disgusting.
That's cruel and I personally hope you never get laid, idiot.
You know how much of an asshole you are when everyone prefers two dead bugs to you.
If this is true, you're a loser and I hope I never have to meet you.
#92 - On 05/06/2009 at 12:17pm by kristindabomb
Wow... there are retards..and THEN there is you. You lowered yourself in a new category for that one.
Hope someone causes you alot of pain down the road for the pain you cost the bettles...RIP Bettles
Youre an asshole..
I have SO much more respect for those beetles than i have for you
I hope someday you feel the pain of being crushed, like, in a car accident or something
:D
#94 - On 05/06/2009 at 12:18pm by maggiewalters
I hope some obese man stands on you and flattens you the next time you get laid.
#98 - On 05/06/2009 at 12:22pm by housemd1120
Hilarious.
Never heard anything like this before. XD
You poor thing, though.
But those poor bugs.
Ugh.
You suck for this but it sucks for you. If that makes any sense.......
hey guys, what the OP did is obviously outrageous and immoral but he/she doesn't deserve death as some of you suggested.
#102 - On 05/06/2009 at 12:33pm by proudstub
HAHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA
oh my goddddd this is fucking hilarious
you are super, super, super, super lame.
#105 - On 05/06/2009 at 12:40pm by audiogasmic
WHAT THE FUCK how did this even get published. This has to be the STUPIDEST FML OF ALL TIME. OF ALL TIME!!!!
They weren't doing it, they were giving birth, Dick.
Also 106... I can't agree more.
#107 - On 05/06/2009 at 12:44pm by Geeky_Warrior
#5 - there IS a screening process, moron. Just because it's not an FYL doesn't mean it's not completely hilarious.
Anyway, ditto on all the comments saying YDI. But this is hilarious anyway
#110 - On 05/06/2009 at 1:03pm by Telcontar14
your right hand is your best friend when you have problems like this
#115 - On 05/06/2009 at 1:12pm by AntiChrist7
just when i thought people couldnt get any more fucked up
#119 - On 05/06/2009 at 1:21pm by BannedDistress78
Seriously, just what the fuck?
That's not an FML, it's just stupid.
Why would you be jealous of two beetles?
And why would you shout at them?
If this is what you do in your spare time, no wonder you can't get laid.
#120 - On 05/06/2009 at 1:26pm by lovelikewinter
oh come on, just when they were having pleasure? u beast........ even though u made me laugh
how would u like it if someone stepped all over u while going down?! o right, u'll never experience it hah!
#122 - On 05/06/2009 at 1:27pm by twilighter_644
This is a good thing. Keep doing this. You stopped a new group of beetles being born. Meaning, you lowered the population of beetles a little bit (:!
#124 - On 05/06/2009 at 1:36pm by LMFAOsabrina
I'll refrain from saying "You sound fucking hot!" this time. (Even though I just did)
You are a sad, sad soul. This is a perfect example of crazy antics that will NOT get you laid because people think you are a self-centered, poor me complaining psycho that nobody enjoys penetrating or being penetrated by. I bet you'd just jump to the next issue, and act psycho over that too. No matter how small.
Go back on your meds. Seriously. if not for us, for the sake of the beetles and children in the world.
#125 - On 05/06/2009 at 1:37pm by rukusrazor
huh huh you said "do it" huh huh
Seriously, you should have another year off, just for acting stupid and lowering the beetle population.
#128 - On 05/06/2009 at 1:50pm by FoundManyLemons
I don't know what to think of you. You're either really really really weird or just a loser (which is basically why you don't get to "do it") or perhaps really, just both.
Seriously. Dude. Get a life.
#129 - On 05/06/2009 at 1:52pm by hahayou12345
WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT
WHY THE HELL WERE YOU LOOKING AT BEETLES ON THE GROUND ? AND THEN YOU DECIDED THEY WERE HAVING SEX?
in 30 years, you will be the 40 yr old virgin. you are aware of that i hope?
#131 - On 05/06/2009 at 1:59pm by fulnotmine
you should go watch the discovery channel, there's some neat porn there.
#132 - On 05/06/2009 at 2:03pm by adrenochrome
Have you not heard of Karma? - Wonder whats gonna happen with your next sexual encounter, Im guessing crabs - you killed bugs having sex, you get bugs having sex!
uh....hahahhaa. this is one of those creepy funny fml's that make you laugh but gives you the heebie jeebies at the exact same time ha..
asshole.
and #19 go back to fucking school....and learn the difference between YOUR and YOU'RE
#140 - On 05/06/2009 at 2:27pm by claiireee1
Is it weird that I think this is bullshit? It seems like something a very young child would do. Plus, it's too over dramatic, and I get the feeling you may have just wanted the attention.
You got it. From the various people on the supposed playground, and here.
But most people are going to say YDI. Even if it isn't bullshit.
#142 - On 05/06/2009 at 2:29pm by SiLveRStaRLIGHT
I'm just glad you didn't say, 'Today, I saw a couple beetles doing it, and it totally turned me on......' that would have truly been a FML.
#143 - On 05/06/2009 at 2:31pm by annieannie
Wow. You sound like a moron.
I feel bad for those bugs.
Really, you had to kill bugs that were outdoors just minding their own business? I hate that.
#147 - On 05/06/2009 at 2:41pm by liveitlearnit
"Today, I was doing it with another beetle and some stupid human stepped on us. FML"
#148 - On 05/06/2009 at 2:41pm by tempaccount
You know you hit rock bottom when you weren't getting any, the fact that you took two beetles lives in a jealous rage because their fucking when you're not is an epic fail. Grab a shovel, rock bottom is too good for you.
You know if i were a Beetle that's exactly how i'd want to be taken out..in the middle of a good love sesh haha
Regardless of what anyone says, this was the most hilarious thing EVER!
Don't change the fact that YDI though.
#160 - On 05/06/2009 at 3:00pm by englishmuffin
Okay, seriously? This is just stupid. It's probably highly exaggerated, you probably said it quietly and to yourself and nobody gave you 'dirty, confused' looks.
#163 - On 05/06/2009 at 3:04pm by eleanor_rigby
YOU'RE A COMPLETE DUMBASS! NO WONDER YOU CAN'T GET LAID! YDI BITCH!
#164 - On 05/06/2009 at 3:07pm by Monty_Python
OP is an asshole for killing animals for such a stupid reason. I don't care if they're beetles or not, they have a right to life. I hope you go a long time without ever getting sex. Would serve you right.
You're an asshole. Way to kill innocent creatures just because you aren't getting any. Go shove a broom up your ass.
I hope the beetles died mid-orgasm. It's a good way to go.
You on the other hand, I hope you die alone. Jerk.
1. "Doing it" is only used by people who haven't noticed the '90s ended.
2. Going out on a limb but... you crushed them with your boot rather than your shoe. Am I right in guessing Docs, New Rocks or some other mini-metaller shoe? Just 'cause they're TOTALLY MORE HARDXCOER.
3. Killing anything ever ain't cool. Self-defence is forgivable, if still regrettable, but beetles?
4. Screaming by yourself means you're an attention whore. (Don't whinge that they looked at you. It's what you were going for.)
5. Screaming near groups of people loud enough to hear you screaming means you lack consideration.
6. You're so self-deluded you think you deserve sex in spite of the above.
7. You thought anyone on the internet would have some sort of sympathy. Really?
#168 - On 05/06/2009 at 3:10pm by noclevername
what the f? i think theres a reason why your not getting any
#169 - On 05/06/2009 at 3:14pm by showwstopper
Yes to #9. As a continuation to that, don't worry. You'll be a beetle in the next life, don't be jealous. :3
#174 - On 05/06/2009 at 3:28pm by majesticjac
This is the lamest post this site has ever had. Congratulations!
#180 - On 05/06/2009 at 3:42pm by ellameno
140, im sorry my grammar isn't perfect online. i didn't realize i had to turn in my fml posts for a grade.
i was still shitfaced when i woke up and said that, marked by my numbering system which goes 1, B, and then 4
the op is a crazy mofo
#183 - On 05/06/2009 at 3:50pm by guitardedman
well if your friends were around then maybe.......but....
HAHAHAHA
#185 - On 05/06/2009 at 3:51pm by serendipitieee
probably fake, but who knows. you're fucking stupid... YDI
#188 - On 05/06/2009 at 3:58pm by rihannalover
#168, you are awesome.
And, to the OP, you were jealous of beetles? BEETLES!? What the hell is wrong with you!
Anger management, much? Look into it.... What the hell is wrong with you?
#193 - On 05/06/2009 at 4:15pm by KiwiBlu
What are you, psycho? "I don't get any so let me destroy something that does, because I can." Poor beetles!
#195 - On 05/06/2009 at 4:24pm by fmlreaderr
i feel your pain dawg...being a virgin, especially at 18 and when everyone else has done it and being a guy where its a rite of passage...its just downright painful
#196 - On 05/06/2009 at 4:25pm by captainfailure
What are you, psycho? "I don't get any so let me destroy something that does, because I can." Poor beetles!
#197 - On 05/06/2009 at 4:25pm by fmlreaderr
lol That is disgusting and hilarious. Reminds me of the time my friend liked my sweater I was wearing, and in the middle of class, ripped it off me (destroying the sweater), saying, "If I can't have it, neither of us will!"
Would you people chill the fuck out? I'm pretty sure at least half the stories in this site are fake anyways.
OMG USELESS BEETLES DIED KILL HIM!!!
haha it's one thing to think this, it's another to post it for the world to read... really??
#204 - On 05/06/2009 at 4:39pm by vickielizabeth
wow, you are about the biggest loser i know..
and i dont even know you :P
#206 - On 05/06/2009 at 4:43pm by xo3velyn
This is not a You Deserve It, certainly not a Fuck My Life. It's a YAF. You are a Freak
#208 - On 05/06/2009 at 4:46pm by BulldogQB4
um... how do u no if the beetles were doing "it"
plus... y should u care? there freakin bugs
#209 - On 05/06/2009 at 4:49pm by jessxoxo28
This has 2 be one of my FAVORITE FML's ever. It was stupid, but,then, so is most of life. =]
#211 - On 05/06/2009 at 4:53pm by BABYof_theGROUP
Wow, killing for no reason. That doesn't sound very mentally healthy. There's probably a good reason nobody wants to have sex with you.
#216 - On 05/06/2009 at 5:00pm by theshewolf
do you crush everyone you're jealous of? those innocent beetles didn't do you any harm, they were just enjoying life! stupid ass.....
You seriously just made my day. And you get Xtreme brownie points. =D
#221 - On 05/06/2009 at 5:12pm by BABYof_theGROUP
Ha, wow...repressed anger? that's pretty funny though. Poor beetles, they probably get no pleasure out of it either.
#224 - On 05/06/2009 at 5:14pm by dol567
thats just plain weird weird weird weird weird, no wonder you aren't having sex.....
#230 - On 05/06/2009 at 5:29pm by 4sons
you're an idiot, but made me laugh at your stupidity so you achieved something with this pathetic story
stop talking to bugs and get some social skills, then there will be no need to be jealous
#237 - On 05/06/2009 at 5:59pm by waxstigmata
How dare you kill something else because you can't get anything! & to scream it out loud. er.
Stupid,stupid fuck.
you're an idiot cuz u were in a playground to begin with
#242 - On 05/06/2009 at 6:10pm by mynameisjuvy
wow...definitely an FYL. you were jealous of BEETLES...
#245 - On 05/06/2009 at 6:26pm by summersong89
wow. did something happen in your mom's stomach during birth? you obviously have something wrong with your brain. :)
Those poor beetles. :( I hope the first time you have sex (if you ever), someone steps on you with a bigger boot.
#249 - On 05/06/2009 at 6:38pm by Jo_The_Marten
Are you fucking kidding me?
1. You're JEALOUS of beetles? Seriously.
2. You yell randomly when you're by yourself?
3. That's the reason no one wants to do you
4. Stop wasting our time with your stupid stories. I'm surprised this one even got posted.
#252 - On 05/06/2009 at 6:52pm by madasahatter
beetle murderer. and #63 it's really not a good idea to insinuate that someone should kill themselves
agree w/ #4
yeah I didn't even get this until I saw the comments on it.
first of all, why would you want to yell this in public anyway, as it makes you look worse
second of all, how in the bloody hell would anyone have any idea what you're talking about, if you say that AFTER you crush 2 beetles, which are tiny and no one can tell what they're doing anyway because they don't spend their time at the park looking at bugs??????
#262 - On 05/06/2009 at 7:29pm by bbobe900000
asshole doesnt even begin to describe what you are... pretty sure this type of behavior warrants a visit to a mental institution
#263 - On 05/06/2009 at 7:31pm by taureau139
lmao! that's disturbing, but hilarious.
so how long has it been?
#266 - On 05/06/2009 at 7:34pm by choppedNskrewed
This has seriously made my day, I can not stop laughing, I keep on getting a mental image of this maniac yelling at the ground. x3
And seriously people, calm the hell down, I bet this isn't really true.
And Poor beetles? God, go join the enviormentalists...
#267 - On 05/06/2009 at 7:35pm by Shibbeh
What a fucking loser. I can see why you haven't gotten any.
#269 - On 05/06/2009 at 7:43pm by Nakedsquirrel
Buggest(typo intended) fail ever.
You need to get laid.
#271 - On 05/06/2009 at 7:54pm by dudeitsdanny
you need professional help if you get jealous over bugs doing it. no wonder why you don't get laid.
#272 - On 05/06/2009 at 8:03pm by grazynaanka
Not only does this make you an idiot (which is clearly the reason why you're not getting any), but it also makes you a shameful being. Why would you pointlessly destroy life like that out of jealousy? You disgust me.
ahhhh.....society just keeps getting more retarded as each single day passes
#276 - On 05/06/2009 at 8:37pm by EveryDayJackAss
I hope you're reading about how many people think you're a tool, and I hope it constantly reminds you that you're probably never going to get laid. I suppose this means the beetles local to your area will face extinction soon... it also means there's something really wrong with you, and now everyone knows it! F your life indeed!
#277 - On 05/06/2009 at 8:52pm by audioscience
Maybe you should've expended your energy on trying to get laid instead of visiting wrath upon two helpless beetles in the throws passion, asshole.
wow...perhaps you being a maniac has something to do with you not having sex?
#287 - On 05/06/2009 at 9:36pm by trackrunner525
You are one dumb mofo. And you killed beetles. You are composed of equal parts suck and fail.
#290 - On 05/06/2009 at 9:42pm by roks_out_loud
You suck.
That's mean.
I don't think you'll ever get laid, and possibly may never move out of your mothers house... hmm...
#291 - On 05/06/2009 at 9:43pm by sawabear15
#19: You made reading the comments for this worth it. Are you perchance from Gallifrey?
#292 - On 05/06/2009 at 9:53pm by plethora
That's actually hilarious. Favourties. Who cares if it's made up? It's funny.
#293 - On 05/06/2009 at 10:01pm by MukyDaCookie
wow thats soooo pathetic. why would you want ruin the beetles happiness just cause your so bitter and bitchy ........ no wonder you can get a guy to fuck you
*snickers* Three words: You. Are. Awesome.
Not because you killed those beetles (I don't really like that, but I don't quite care, either, since I have insectophobia) but because you were jealous of them. Welcome to the Insanity club... Where 95% of we internet-goers live. =)
Wow, I hope someone crushes you.
It was probably the one male beetle who was finally happy just to get laid. You go ahead and take it away. I hope everyone cock blocks you until you die.
favorited for being one of the most random FMLs I've come across. And I've come across... well all of them. Shit, am I on here too much? FML.
That's mean.. leave the beetles alone!! They were making love and you ended their lives!
#313 - On 05/07/2009 at 2:15am by xx2stupid
#16 FTW
Fuck the beetles lives, or lack thereof. Imagine being killed while trying to have sex?
#314 - On 05/07/2009 at 2:21am by lefty_curse
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA that was like, so funny.... Does FML even read the stories they allow to be put on?
#319 - On 05/07/2009 at 3:09am by Perfection_7
DUDE WTF IS UR PROBLEM??
IF I WERE U I WOULDVE RECORDED THE BEETLES FOR LATER "FUN" AT HOME
UR AN IDIOT FOR NOT DOING THAT
#324 - On 05/07/2009 at 5:05am by carlosg123
You need to check yourself into the psychward asap - no one even remotely close to being mentally sound would be even a teensy bit jealous of beetles and the rage that came with it...You need meds and quickly
Today I saw 2 beetles doing it and I was jealous.
I've never done it beetle style. Maybe I'll give that one a try tonight.
LMFAO. this is GREAT.
I don't get why people are so upset about beetles dying. I mean i hate animals, but i could see the point if he went and tortured cats or something for doing it. You probably step on beetles all the time.
I can't believe what would persuade you to 1)be jealous of beetles 2)shout out to the whole world "IF I CAN'T DO IT, NOBODY WILL *evil laugh*.
Anyway, who is that desperate? You sound like a nypho.. or a pedophile... on a playground :S
#334 - On 05/07/2009 at 2:41pm by AtoZnumbersand_
You just took cock blocking to a whole new level...congratulations you spazz.
#337 - On 05/07/2009 at 3:25pm by dtownklinik
Something tells me that this was supposed to be more funny than anything else. It made me laugh, you win.
#338 - On 05/07/2009 at 4:49pm by Shecantresist
YDI x 3000. Way to be less mature than a kindergartner.
#340 - On 05/07/2009 at 5:17pm by asomedaywriter
um. i think the reason you're not doing it is because you need some serious help. that's creepy creep from creeptown, dude.
#341 - On 05/07/2009 at 5:38pm by starvingxartist
hahaha dude you are the absolute best.
I have no idea why you aren't getting laid, you're hysterical :D
#343 - On 05/07/2009 at 6:14pm by ertw
that's so retarded, killing poor beetles coz u cant get any...
#348 - On 05/07/2009 at 7:06pm by redmuffler
yeahhhh dudeee you're never going to get any. acting like that. what are you, ten?
and #327, really? insect porn? you're just as much of a loser as the person who posted this FML..
#350 - On 05/07/2009 at 7:47pm by brumfielddd5
wtf thats the most retarded thing iv ever heard...wtf thats just wow. ur jealous of beatles, and kill them in cold blood...
haha number 72 :)
#352 - On 05/07/2009 at 8:26pm by bananasncreamm
lol This is hysterical because it's ridiculous. I can't believe everyone takes a story about a person killing bettles so seriously. You do realize they probably just wanted to get on the Top Flops list and made up a ridiculously funny story up, right?
Besides, is telling them to kill themselves really less disgusting than killing beetles? I'd say it's a lot worse. Pathetic/retarded or not, they're still a living person, while the beetles were just two random insects. I mean insects... Not that big a deal. Some kids kill them for fun. Do you guys punch cats for catching mice?
Like, OP+Everyone else feraking out, TAKE A DEEP BREATH AND CALM THE HECK DOWN! :P
With all due respect, jchansfan
lolwut. Does everyone on here catch and release every bug they come across?
#362 - On 05/08/2009 at 7:26am by seamripper
you're so proud of the fact that 1) you killed two innocent beetles, 2) you "can't do it" and 3) you are a retard who desperately needs a life-
that you posted it onto FML.
you obviously don't feel that you should be ashamed of yourself for killing the beetles.
i think you should post another FML saying
"i'm a retard and i have an entire page of comments of angry people hating me"
good job.
#368 - On 05/09/2009 at 7:11am by jiro
BAHAHAHA u was hatin on some beetles dude! LOL. get a life!
#372 - On 05/09/2009 at 3:52pm by mus1calwond3r
Why is everyone so pissed over this? Go fuck yourselves instead, okay? Have fun while you're at it.
#375 - On 05/10/2009 at 1:19am by CurdledMilk
FAIL. wow. and you wonder why you havent gotten laid. keep that up and you'll die a virgin. lol
#378 - On 05/10/2009 at 3:51pm by hawaii_love
Does it have anything to do with your psychotic behavior and propensity for killing things you're jealous of?
Wow... Think about this:
Your finally getting laid, and a giant monster steps on you because it cant get any.
Thats what you just did. So yeah, YDI
#386 - On 05/11/2009 at 9:42pm by DeadAngelKonan
hahahahahahhaha. i thought that was hilarious. that was the first FML that i actually laughed to. :P
you have some serious issues... those poor buggies...
#396 - On 05/12/2009 at 7:11pm by kissheruidiot
What in the world? Darwin hopes you dont have offspring.
#398 - On 05/13/2009 at 4:40am by WindStoner
and you're asking why you don't get some? well read what you wrote again and then tell me if you feel the same way. jeez. its not their fault they're getting some and you aren't. psycho
#400 - On 05/13/2009 at 6:02pm by MaxTheFirst
thats like so pathetic on ur part lmaoo
let them be dont get jealous that insects can get action and yu can't. :]
I hope you never have sex. You don't need to be breeding. And may you be eaten alive by a thousand horny ladybugs. Totally agree with #9.
#402 - On 05/14/2009 at 1:17pm by DarkMirror
And HOW many times were you dropped on your head as a baby?
There are so many things wrong with you.
OHHMYGOD.
Cant.....Stop...Laughing! I have tears!
This is Hillarious...My family now thinks im crazy for randomly laughing hestericly. xD It was worth it.
Favoritedd!
@ #2 you're fucking genius. took the words out of my mouth.
#407 - On 05/15/2009 at 6:35pm by x__f_m_l__x
That's pretty amazing.
You didn't have to kill them though... ;w;
#412 - On 05/18/2009 at 12:37am by Freaky_Darlings
you ruined the beatles chances of getting laid too.
EPIC FAIL.
#413 - On 05/18/2009 at 1:40pm by wowfmlxten
did you have to ruin the beatles chances of getting laid too?
i mean what if that beatle couldnt get laid either
You don't see him flying into your room and mobbing u while ur trying to get some.
#414 - On 05/18/2009 at 1:45pm by wowfmlxten
This is the funniest fucking thing ever.
This is most likely why you can't get laid. Karma.
#416 - On 05/19/2009 at 8:19pm by lolatflyingducks
i agree for killing the beetles cuz beetles are just disgusting. but dude, thats pretty pathetic reasoning. hahahah! pretty funny. lmao! i wouldve liked to see ur little display. thatd be quite hilarious to watch! hahahaha! nice...
Karma, bitch. All they were trying to do was get their beetle freak on and you had to ruin it.
#420 - On 05/24/2009 at 11:30pm by theodivine
Umm.. sorry dude but
You
Deserved
It....
Thats just.... yea at least you now know why you don't get any? ahah sorry but thats funny
#421 - On 05/25/2009 at 12:48pm by LiveLoveLife
you should have kept this to yourself you crazy dumbf.
#423 - On 05/26/2009 at 5:10pm by christina333
You suck, man.
Perhaps a giant boot will come down and smash you right when you're just about to get it on.
#424 - On 05/26/2009 at 9:31pm by birdhaxxor
Do you have a mental sickness? That kind of behavior won't get you laid.
#426 - On 05/28/2009 at 11:10am by flyingheads7853
Ugh...
If you're so sexually frustrated, you could be doing something about it instead of acting like a two year old and squishing innocent beetles...
YDI
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah
I can actually imagen my best friend doing that, shes very angsty....and its been a while for her too lolz
# 72 made my day.
you a loser, how would you like it if i crushed you with my feet while you were fucking ur own cum?
i hate to break it to u, but thats the best you'll every get
Ok it's not the nicest thing to kill beetles but the rest of this FML is THE FUNNIEST THING I'VE EVER HEARD
HHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHA what did you say when people looked @ u like u were a crazy freak?
#432 - On 06/01/2009 at 11:54am by Irefusetosay
hahahahaha! this is hysterical.
hell, they have blow up dolls/sex toys if you're that jealous :).
#433 - On 06/03/2009 at 6:03pm by awillowcabin
I can't blame you; I'd be jealous too. But they weren't having sex - he was performing the Heimlich Maneuver on her.
#437 - On 06/07/2009 at 2:26am by NickP88
Fvck beetles. I often crush them just because I don't like them. Killing them out of frustration is a little strange but it's also pretty funny.
Holllllllllly shiiiiiit if I was one of those parents out there I would have had trouble holding back the laughter erupting in my chest. ROFL
#440 - On 06/08/2009 at 3:19pm by looking_glass
Um err... I don't know what to say to this so i say FAIL!
#445 - On 06/19/2009 at 3:44pm by CaptainPlank
This is almost certainly the funniest FML here! Seriously, I literally laughed for several minutes straight when I read this. Of course, if this is real, you need some serious help...
#447 - On 06/28/2009 at 8:57am by GeorgeC
ROFL. Does anyone really think this guy is telling the truth?
Regardless, made me laugh, so +1 to you OP.
rolf
this was awesome it made my day
i can imagine my friends doing this
if your really dat desperate get a hooker
and how DO beetles do the nasty anyways?
Aw. Poor beetles. What did they ever do to you?! They just wanted to innocently have sex and make lots of little beetle babies. :'/
#452 - On 07/16/2009 at 3:02pm by CAITx4OH1xCORE
"You are a sad, strange little man. You have my pity. Farewell." -alien hand sign-
this seemed an appropriate time to quote Toy Story.
#453 - On 07/22/2009 at 2:22pm by SusanaSaysRawrxD
