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By To shave or not to shave - / Thursday 15 February 2018 19:30 / Canada - Ajax
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Today, I walked in on my boyfriend of six years with another girl. He tried to apologize, stating that it was because I "look too much like a man". FML

By Jess - / Saturday 10 February 2018 11:00 / Canada - Calgary
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Today, I was having sex with my wife. Halfway through, I had to go to the bathroom, but she complained so I stayed. It was explosive diarrhea. I was on top. FML

By Dr Pepper - / Sunday 28 January 2018 00:00 / Canada
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By sadCowboysfan - / Friday 26 January 2018 00:00 / Canada - Ajax
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Today, during my annual performance evaluation, my boss responded to my career goal with, "Pfft! That ain't gonna happen." FML

By ThatGuy - / Thursday 18 January 2018 11:00 / Canada - Edmonton
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By WhoIAm - / Monday 15 January 2018 10:00 / Canada - Salisbury
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Today, I was cleaning up the kitchen after a nice cozy dinner with my boyfriend at his parents' country house. I picked up the bottle of olive oil we'd used for cooking and spotted two dead mice in it. FML

By Lisbeth - / Sunday 7 January 2018 19:30 / Canada - Mascouche
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Today, I finally found out why the water in my bottle had been tasting strangely minty for the past few weeks when I saw a piece of gum sitting at the bottom of it. I don't chew gum. FML

By RobotUnicorn1209 - / Tuesday 21 November 2017 19:30 / Canada - Hamilton
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By BarefootNoMore - / Friday 17 November 2017 00:00 / Canada - Ajax
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Today, my horse and I got into a disagreement over the jumps. I thought "we" should be going over them. He thought "I" should be going over them instead. FML

By AkaiKitsune - / Wednesday 15 November 2017 16:30 / Canada - Victoria
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By CathRoy - / Friday 3 November 2017 19:30 / Canada - Sherbrooke
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By Why Dad? - / Saturday 21 October 2017 00:00 / Canada - Ajax
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Today, during a romantic shower with my girlfriend, I slipped, fell, and took the both the shower curtain and rod with me. My dignity hurts more than my butt. FML

By "Alex Neiva" - / Monday 16 October 2017 19:30 / Canada - Toronto
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Today, a guy tried a pick-up line on me and followed me into a nearby mall. He left me after 10 minutes, but later sent me a request on Instagram. I never gave him my name. FML

By wilmaa - / Sunday 15 October 2017 17:15 / Canada
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  Today, I engaged in a healthy round of rebound sex to get over my ex, who was very controlling of my body. During the act, Mr. Rebound said my nipples looked like pepperoni. FML

By Insecure - / Wednesday 11 October 2017 01:00 / Canada - Halifax
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By Gotta Catch Them All - / Sunday 8 October 2017 07:00 / Canada
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Today, I learned I have a slight allergy to wasps when I cut down a dead tree they made a home out of. Half my face now looks like I'm wearing a fat suit. FML

By Anonymous - / Tuesday 3 October 2017 14:02 / Canada - Jansen
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By StinkyFrogHunter - / Wednesday 10 May 2017 15:00 / Canada - Toronto
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By Toothach - / Thursday 12 May 2016 01:38 / Canada - Fonthill
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By hannahka - / Friday 29 August 2014 18:09 / Canada - Ottawa
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  Today, my boyfriend and I had a threesome. He suggested we have another guy. It ended up devolving into a twosome, and I wasn't part of it. FML

By Anonymous - / Saturday 22 June 2013 06:39 / Canada - Airdrie
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By nomade319 - / Thursday 16 May 2013 02:57 / Canada - Winnipeg
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Today, while arguing with my pregnant wife, she said, “You can’t understand. I’m creating life. What are you creating, besides poop?” FML

By caca maker - / Sunday 13 January 2013 09:22 / Canada
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