Today, my son was expelled from school for bullying. The event in question took place off campus, during spring break, and was a friendly scuff. The iPhone video they used as evidence clearly showed the other boy laughing his head off and both of them sharing a coke afterwards. FML I agree, your life sucks 3040 I agree, your life sucks 3040 You deserved it 254 You deserved it 254 21 49 2 173 33 By Anonymous - / Tuesday 24 April 2018 15:00 /
Today, my daughter was stung by a bark scorpion, requiring a visit to the ER. Luckily, we were seen quickly. Unfortunately, due to a new policy, the medicine used to treat the sting is not available for children as it "might" cause low blood pressure. Awesome. FML I agree, your life sucks 2898 I agree, your life sucks 2898 You deserved it 141 You deserved it 141 6 38 2 202 12 By jello_bellied_snack_snapper - / Monday 23 April 2018 16:00 /
Today, I’ve been up since 5am getting everything ready for the beach. This is the first nice weekend we’ve had this season. I have a dressed toddler asleep on the couch and grown ass man that refuses to get out of bed. Today it’s 80 degrees. Next weekend is 50 degrees. FML I agree, your life sucks 3146 I agree, your life sucks 3146 You deserved it 451 You deserved it 451 25 79 8 38 121 By BeachBummer - / Saturday 21 April 2018 19:00 /
World Philippines Today, my mom gave me a severe scolding because I refuse to support my 3 sisters, and support 3 "home-wreckers" instead. They are my daughters, who are 3, 5, and 7 years old. My sisters are 25, 28, and 31 years old, and won't get jobs because they are "too important". FML I agree, your life sucks 4137 I agree, your life sucks 4137 You deserved it 165 You deserved it 165 26 81 5 293 29 By no handouts! - / Saturday 21 April 2018 21:00 / Philippines - San Pedro
Today, I've been dating my boyfriend for 6 years. I've had a really bad week and am feeling depressed, and he knows this. He's also just decided to tell me he has a two-month-old daughter. We do not have an open relationship. FML I agree, your life sucks 4321 I agree, your life sucks 4321 You deserved it 250 You deserved it 250 17 31 5 408 20 By Fucked4life - / Wednesday 18 April 2018 20:30 /
Today, at my job as a 2nd grade teacher, I was explaining to my students how I'm pregnant and will have to take a break from teaching after I have my baby. One of my students replied with "Ooooooooohhh Ms. Johnson had sex!" FML I agree, your life sucks 3516 I agree, your life sucks 3516 You deserved it 691 You deserved it 691 19 15 25 28 668 By Acu7519 - / Monday 16 April 2018 15:00 /
Today, during my daughter's 8th birthday at a skating rink, a family showed up that didn't RSVP. The mother brought all 3 of her kids and left them at the party alone. She didn't feed them lunch and they followed me around the whole time asking for money. FML I agree, your life sucks 4443 I agree, your life sucks 4443 You deserved it 240 You deserved it 240 17 74 13 335 50 By Stephanie Peugh - / Sunday 15 April 2018 19:30 / United States - Loudonville
Today, my 10-year-old daughter hid in her closet all day and did not come out. The reason? She didn't want to eat my pot roast. I didn't realize my cooking was that bad. FML I agree, your life sucks 3327 I agree, your life sucks 3327 You deserved it 594 You deserved it 594 21 17 8 29 329 By rita - / Sunday 15 April 2018 19:00 /
Today, after 11 years together, including 8 years of engagement and 3.5 months of marriage, I found out he had sex with his ex-girlfriend on my birthday. He's now leaving me and our kids to be with her because she's his "soul mate". FML I agree, your life sucks 4766 I agree, your life sucks 4766 You deserved it 329 You deserved it 329 24 59 7 447 29 By Anonymous - / Thursday 12 April 2018 15:00 /
Freaky. Today, according to my mother, who is only 19 years older than me and raised me by herself, I was conceived in a satanic ritual to honour the Horned God and have at least 4 potential fathers. She was too stoned to remember the actual number or their names. FML I agree, your life sucks 4785 I agree, your life sucks 4785 You deserved it 283 You deserved it 283 40 69 13 406 191 By Anonymous - / Thursday 12 April 2018 05:00 /
Today, I secretly turned off the internet to see what my kids would do. Barely 10 minutes later, I caught my oldest son masturbating to a photo of my sister in a bikini because, as he put it, "A man has needs and the internet's fucked." FML I agree, your life sucks 4607 I agree, your life sucks 4607 You deserved it 1261 You deserved it 1261 38 65 16 409 397 By Anonymous - / Wednesday 11 April 2018 06:00 /
Today, being a divorced dad, I had a very important job opportunity for which I would be gone overnight. When I returned, I found my son locked in his room while the babysitter was having sex with a man in my bed. FML I agree, your life sucks 5425 I agree, your life sucks 5425 You deserved it 295 You deserved it 295 33 60 6 534 59 By Parent - / Sunday 8 April 2018 23:00 / United States - Elkhart
Kinky. Today, after I got fed up and told my bullying step-brother exactly what I thought of him, he became overly polite. He then admitted that me shouting at him was the most turned on he's ever been in his life. Now he loves me and wants to be my "submissive" boyfriend. FML I agree, your life sucks 4894 I agree, your life sucks 4894 You deserved it 348 You deserved it 348 27 74 12 422 245 By Therapy needed urgently - / Sunday 8 April 2018 19:00 /
Today, it took me four tries to find the right position to swipe my debit card. My mom screamed "Oh, for God's sake, why don't you ever get it right the FIRST time?" She then apologized to the cashier for having "such a stupid child". FML I agree, your life sucks 3630 I agree, your life sucks 3630 You deserved it 821 You deserved it 821 17 42 5 127 248 By asdfghjkl - / Saturday 7 April 2018 19:00 /
Today, my husband and I hosted Easter dinner. Since I was in my own home, I breastfed without a cover. My sister-in-law stormed out in a rage, screaming that I was being obscene, and equated it to shooting heroin in front of her kids. Happy Easter indeed. FML I agree, your life sucks 4595 I agree, your life sucks 4595 You deserved it 561 You deserved it 561 42 104 11 311 89 By best breast - / Friday 6 April 2018 00:00 /
Today, my mother stopped speaking to me because I won’t let her babysit anymore. Her idea of babysitting is to sit my daughter alone with a tablet and a pile of sugary junk food for 7 hours straight. FML I agree, your life sucks 3800 I agree, your life sucks 3800 You deserved it 257 You deserved it 257 18 46 12 244 51 By badsitter - / Thursday 5 April 2018 19:00 /
Today, while visiting my son at university, I noticed a funky smell in his room. He admitted to not changing his bedsheets since he moved in 2.5 years ago. I’ve raised an animal. FML I agree, your life sucks 3929 I agree, your life sucks 3929 You deserved it 578 You deserved it 578 20 46 9 383 126 By Anonymous - / Wednesday 4 April 2018 01:30 /
Today, after 38 years of never meeting my dad, and paying a private investigator thousands of pounds over several weeks of searching, I found him living 2 floors down in the same block of flats. He’s the grouchy downstairs neighbour I’ve hated for 6 years FML I agree, your life sucks 5231 I agree, your life sucks 5231 You deserved it 362 You deserved it 362 15 34 19 346 239 By Anonymous - / Tuesday 3 April 2018 15:00 /
Today, my 5-year-old son made a drawing of our living room, with the addition of an apparition and the text, "I can see you. Daddy doesn't see you. Who are you?" FML I agree, your life sucks 3714 I agree, your life sucks 3714 You deserved it 260 You deserved it 260 28 52 7 395 59 By Justinthebox - / Monday 2 April 2018 19:00 /
Today, a 6th grader came up to me and told me I have the smallest breasts in the class. I'm their teacher. FML I agree, your life sucks 4014 I agree, your life sucks 4014 You deserved it 305 You deserved it 305 16 48 4 67 376 By anamanaguchi - / Saturday 31 March 2018 01:30 /
Today, I tried to explain my 8-year-old son that my fiancée was going to be his stepmother. Little did I know, he watched Coraline last week. Now he thinks she's his "other mother" and won't go anywhere near her. FML I agree, your life sucks 3501 I agree, your life sucks 3501 You deserved it 371 You deserved it 371 13 23 6 43 355 By otherdad? - / Friday 30 March 2018 19:00 /
Today, my girlfriend named our daughter Aspen. Ass. Pen. When I hear her name I will always think of a pen in a butthole. No doubt her future classmates will too. FML I agree, your life sucks 3543 I agree, your life sucks 3543 You deserved it 1291 You deserved it 1291 66 123 14 61 323 By Anonymous - / Sunday 25 March 2018 19:00 /
*shrinks into corner* Today, my dad decided to be an awesome person and fold my laundry without telling me. Later, I heard my parents having a conversation about a pair of panties that were "like dental floss" and which sister they belonged to. FML I agree, your life sucks 3291 I agree, your life sucks 3291 You deserved it 543 You deserved it 543 10 17 5 29 292 By Ally - / Saturday 24 March 2018 05:00 /
Today, my psycho ex is threatening to take me to court on child abuse allegations. How did I abuse them? I “gendered” our children by buying them certain colored clothing and toys... that they’d asked for. FML I agree, your life sucks 4814 I agree, your life sucks 4814 You deserved it 262 You deserved it 262 37 74 2 276 85 By baddaddy - / Friday 23 March 2018 01:30 /
Call CPS! Today, picking up my children from school, I overheard some kids saying what a rotten person their dad was, and how they hated him. It was my kids talking to their friends about me! Why? Because I didn't buy them a bag of jelly beans the day before. FML I agree, your life sucks 3876 I agree, your life sucks 3876 You deserved it 371 You deserved it 371 19 48 11 51 310 By Daddo - / Tuesday 20 March 2018 14:00 / United States - Elkhart
Today, as I was perusing old photos with my mother, I found one of her with a "childhood friend" at her wedding to my dad. Now I know where my green eyes and blotchy neck birthmark came from, and it's not from the man I’ve been calling "dad" for 40 years. FML I agree, your life sucks 5172 I agree, your life sucks 5172 You deserved it 226 You deserved it 226 22 35 12 578 62 By Anonymous - / Sunday 18 March 2018 15:00 /
Today, my 3-year-old came to me very excited because he had gone to the bathroom by himself for the first time. What he did not tell me was that he had shit on the floor, and when I went into the bathroom to check, I slipped on a turd and knocked myself out on the sink. FML I agree, your life sucks 4728 I agree, your life sucks 4728 You deserved it 394 You deserved it 394 15 22 6 134 508 By jbhadafuckedupday - / Thursday 15 March 2018 01:30 /
Today I left my 8-week-old with my brother so I could return to work. His wife took all the breast milk I'd packed out of the fridge and poured it out. According to her, it was “gross” and she didn’t want it near her food. My son is allergic to formula. FML I agree, your life sucks 5342 I agree, your life sucks 5342 You deserved it 267 You deserved it 267 35 50 3 675 26 By boobmilk - / Thursday 8 March 2018 06:00 / United States - Hesperia
Incognito IRL Today, my daughter confessed that she’s pregnant from a one-night stand with some guy she met on vacation in Florida a few months ago. The dirtbag never told her his last name and the phone number he gave her was fake. FML I agree, your life sucks 4740 I agree, your life sucks 4740 You deserved it 2444 You deserved it 2444 109 89 11 450 141 By Stressed out mom - / Wednesday 7 March 2018 01:30 /
Today, I found out my son has been lying about being sick. He kept complaining so I took him to the doctor and got him some medicine. Now he’s actually sick because he took meds he didn’t even need. He did it solely so he could get an expensive get well soon gift. FML I agree, your life sucks 3682 I agree, your life sucks 3682 You deserved it 796 You deserved it 796 33 90 11 211 85 By Stupid - / Thursday 1 March 2018 15:00 /
FML: Uncensored Today, my girlfriend was giving me head during the horror flick we were watching. Little did I know, my girlfriend isn't a big fan of horror films. It...
2 Today, I was getting a bikini wax to prove to my husband that I could be sexy despite being five months pregnant. As the woman was applying the wax, she...
3 Today, I ran into my ex-boyfriend a few years after I slept with his boss and got him fired. He is now a multi-millionaire investor and won't take me back....
4 Today, after faking my orgasms for several years, I found out that my boyfriend has been telling his friends that I'm super loose because he doesn't feel...
Today, I was lying in a lawn chair next to my wooden fence when a yellow liquid started spraying me. The neighbor's douchebag son was peeing through the... I agree, your life sucks 18 I agree, your life sucks 18 You deserved it 2 You deserved it 2
Today, I was painting and I had a cup to rinse the brushes in and a cup of water for drinking... and I drank out of the wrong cup. I've had the shits ever... I agree, your life sucks 2 I agree, your life sucks 2 You deserved it 1 You deserved it 1
Canada Today, I was laying naked, face down across our bed when I asked my husband to crack my back. He quickly replied with, "Holy! I never realized that your...
Canada Today, I checked my e-mail after being sick for over a week to see that I missed an important email. It said I got the job I applied for, if I responded...
Today, my 2-year-old learned how to open the fridge lock. I came out of the bathroom to what she called a "scrambled egg breakfast". FML
FML's Christmas Bingo! Cross off each subject as it is mentioned during your Christmas with family and/or friends!
Canada Today, I was laying naked, face down across our bed when I asked my husband to crack my back. He quickly replied with, "Holy! I never realized that your...
Today, I drove 2 hours to spend the night with a man who I have been seeing for a few weeks. We had sex for the first time. About an hour later, he told... I agree, your life sucks 5833 I agree, your life sucks 5833 You deserved it 1415 You deserved it 1415 31